Marrige?..Hmm where do u stand?

Question

I have always had my opinion of marrige and since I was little always thought that I would just grow up, meet mr.right and get married. Ive been raised in a christian family and have always been told that I should get married, and that I shouldnt be commited intimately to someone and not be married to them. recently my friend was like "marrige really has no purpose"He thinks that marrige is nothing more than a peice of paper and a ring, and that if you are commited to someone you dont need to be married to show that. And I think that marrige is so much more,Its a jointment between two people, and its biblical. and that if u are commited to someone that you should marry them.I understand that marrige will not make you commited, but I just always thought that a person should get married to the person that they want to spend the rest of their life to. So what do you think?Does marrige really mean anything other than a peice of paper and a ring?Do you need marrige to be commited?..

thease aren all great explanations...Robbie I think I may be winning this debate:)..Also y do u guys think that so many marriges fail?

Answer 1

You sound just like me! I am getting married soon and am pretty young, and believe me, soo many ppl have tried to put me off it. But I really feel that I'm doing the right thing. Marriage brings about stability and if people who think otherwise are too chicken of the commitment. Why sleep around with soo many different men before meeting mr. right? Marriage is sacred and its just people who reduce it to a piece of paper and jewellery. Don't worry about them, just stick to the belief that you've always had. I am so with u!!!

Answer 2

Well, Steff,
I think some people take marriage to heart, ring, paper and all! Marriage means different things to everybody. I also think the men and women who say "It's just a paper and ring", are missing the meaning and committment that marriage is meant to be! It's showing also that those people don't think much of the Union when they choose to live outside of marriage., for whatever reasons.
Hey, it's their life after all!

Some also get caught up in the "Fairy-tale" part of the actual wedding and that's all they see for the time being that you get all dressed up and appear before a Pastor, go through the motions, then once the newness wears off, life really begins and I think once this happens, the ones who married young, or simply really weren't ready for the committment to atart with, actually find out and see the committment "in rock" in which can scare ones who don't understand the deep meaning of marriage. Think about the statistics with Divorces now and you might agree that I'm right about what I'm saying here! So the next thing you know, a couple can begin to feel trapped because they took the vows for granted and they found out there is much more to marriage than the way it looks on the surface, so one or both want out, and it's the end of what they thought would always be a "Fairy tale" and not to take lightly!

Thanks Steff for your question, and I'm starring it!

Answer 3

Many people are growing into believing marriage are useless and doesn't mean anything because they have been through bad experience. But is marriage really obsolete? I definitely beg to differ from both personal experience of divorce and biblical point of view.

A marriage is like going into a union when two bodies bond to become one. Most people are turned off by the idea because of the amount of commitments and efforts they have to put in. Instead of wondering how and what they could provide and love their partner, they are constantly clouded by what they can gain from their partners instead. If they do not see anything that they could gain from it, they would choose to believe that a marriage is useless. Somewhat correct, but when the constant desire to look at gains too much, we become a self-centred person who will never see anything good out of marriage.

Why should a marriage make people commit? Should it be the evidence of commitments before we even decide to marry that somebody? Make sense? Many people go into marriage with the mentality that it will change the lousy side of the relationship, but factually, a marriage does not do any good to existing problems. It is human's bad handling of situations and corrupted mindset that destroys a relationship. I bet if marriage is a living person, marriage would certainly have alot to retort the fellows who says marriage is meaningless.

Again and again, humans put the blame on marriage not being able to do anything for them. But they have to take note of the critical fact that it is what they do in a marriage that will lead them to live happily ever after. A marriage is not a miracle, nor is it a lucky draw prize you won at the carnival. Both parties will have to work at it day after day, year after year.

Marriage is surely and definitely more than just a piece of paper and a ring. The significance of that paper and ring is bigger than what they know in their enclosed shell. Failure to see it, does not mean it does not exist.

Answer 4

Perhaps there is a continuous spectrum of relationships in society that go from being completely single and uncomitted to being a little bit committed in a dating situation, to being somewhat committed in a common-law type of marriage, and to being completely and totally commited in a traditional, formal, and legal marriage.

All of these relationships are real. And all of them exist in society. And it's up to the people to choose which of these relationships they would rather have for the long term.

Perhaps your friend doesn't like the total, full, and complete commitment that a traditional marriage represents. He likes the less committed common-law type of relationship. And that's what he wants to have.

But just because he likes only one type of relationship that exists in society doesn't mean that the other types don't exist or that somehow the other types are less real than the one he likes.

I think that the biggest reason why many marriages fail now is because men and women don't need each other that much now.

Men and women have lost their traditional gender roles. In many cases, both cook, both take care of the household and children, and both are breadwinners.

And in those cases where women are housewives and men are breadwinners, the government makes sure that these men and women don't depend that much on each other either.
Divorce laws ensure that the man will have to pay lots of alimony to the woman even if she is the one who commits adultery and leaves him.

When men and women don't depend on each other and don't really need each other, then break up is easy and logical any time they have a major disagreement. Why compromise, when you can divorce and still continue more or less the same kind of lifestyle?

And perhaps your friend is right to some extent that commitment between men and women nowadays is often artificial because it is held in place by a piece of paper and not by any real need of each other.

Answer 5

If you are a Christian, marriage is not about a piece of paper. It is about a public commitment and a vow before God. A relationship without marriage is leading to trouble. God knew what he was doing - you need that commitment from each other or it's too easy to leave or cheat. God never said "If you aren't ready, live together instead."
Marriage isn't always done the same way, but it is always honored as a public event where you have witnesses and vows. In past times, marriage was typically arranged by the family, and not always for love, and yet still He expected the vow to be honored. Now we marry for love, but expect love to be all of it and to be enough. This is not all there is.
Also, not everyone is called to marriage, but if you find a person you can't live without, get that commitment in public, in writing, with the paper to remind you of your vows.

Answer 6

Marriage is more than a piece of a paper. It's a commitment that is recognized by the state. If you have children and you are not married, you have to pay child support. If you don't and you split, you will pay back child support for the that entire span of time where u were not married. If something were to happen to your boyfriend, say they died or needed medical care, you as a girlfriend, would have no right to make any determination of their last rights. Those rights would goto the parents. If they died you would receive no social security benefits on their behalf. If you lived in a house that was in their name you would be evicted, as it would be sold under the laws of probate. So for your friend that thinks it's just a piece of paper, it is, but it is also a piece of paper that gives your significant other the right to be in charge of your care, and the right to be taken care of in the event of your death or incapacitation.

Answer 7

To a couple that loves each other and wants to spend their lives together, then, marriage is actually a minor detail. An important one, but a minor one.

What matters is the strength of the relationship, the amount of committment within it, the amount of compromise and forgiveness.

What holds you together is not a license, some vows and a ring. Those are just things.

So, to answer your question, yes, marriage is "more" than just a license and ring, but in the other sense, you're "married" in spirit before you ever take vows.

Answer 8

Granted, this is my opinion..........

Marriage is a man made ceremony. Ceremony being the key word. It's just a piece of paper and a ring. It holds both parties liable for any debt.

Commitment is something that comes from the heart and mind. If you are committed to someone, even that piece of paper holds no weight in comparison to the love and respect you have for that other person.

Answer 9

Im a romantic! I am not an especially religious person but I strongly believe in marraige to the right person. Marriage should mean more than paper and jewellry, its showing the world you are a team, you love eachother and are committed to oneanother. Its taking your husbands name and being proud to do so, a connection between too people which is built to last. I hope I am lucky enough to have all that one day.

Answer 10

it depends on who you are. i personally think yes you need it to be totaly commited. that peice of paper binds you to one another, legally and spirtually. other wise your just boyfriend and girlfriend. i think personally, people who don't get married and are in long term commited relationships are foolish. not only are you living as a married couple you mind as well get the legal benifits, and it give you some legal security. and spirtually in is nice to know that you are better that the opther people your spouse has dated.