My husband has been posted a personal ad online with a picture of himself. He said that we married too young so he's just having fun and playing around a little bit. Now, it's been 8 months already and he is still occasionally keeping update on how many responded to it and maybe even keeping in touch with them. Just last night, he was in a new website where he signed up for and chatted with some girls of different race and this morning i found that he wrote down an email. He sometimes goes out clubbing with his friends too. So, should i be worry or just ignore it? I'm not sure if i should confront him about it since he did make it clear that he wanted me to be a cool wife especially when it comes to things like this. But how cool should i be? I just fear that if i keep ignoring this one day i might get even more hurt than this. I don't want to leave him we already have a child together so please share any similar experience with me or any mature advice that won't seem too controlling.
2007-04-08 04:28:58 · 8 answers · asked by Joyfully 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex would put his profile on line, his excuse he just wanted to see who was stupid enough to be doing the same. I didn't fall for that and it was a sore spot with us. I believe if your happy there should be no looking. Some men need their ego stroked, so this is way for them, also they are looking to see what is available to them. Your not being controlling in a marriage when you ask them to stop doing damaging things to your marriage, after all this affects 3 people just not him. I don't think my ex ever stopped, he hid it well from me. We are in a older age group, so he didn't go out clubbing, but it still concerned me. I felt he wanted someone better, so this made me lose some self esteem. In the back of my mind I tried to make excuse for why he was doing it. When they do this it takes away some trust. I would tell him how it made me feel, but he would only laugh and say your way to sensitive. Your right to be concerned about this. How would he like it if you were doing this?
2007-04-08 05:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no question that what he is doing is wrong and considered cheating even if hasn't met with any of these people physically yet. Just by interacting with these people over the computer is crossing the line and showing no boundaries on his part. What you need to do is to confront him- find out why and what prompted him to do this and then really think if your marriage is able to be saved. I would suggest that you do not confront him in an angry reactive way because that is unproductive but I would have a very serious discussion with him and ask him how long this has been going on. has he been doing this throughout your whole relationship? if you feel the marriage is worth saving you could try couples therapy. one word of caution though- once you confront him, don't let him twist it around. Guys can be very calculating that way when they are "busted". They have a tendency to twist things around and leave you feeling like YOU did something wrong. Good luck and I'm sorry this happened to you.
2016-04-01 03:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He said he wanted you to be cool so you wouldn't bother him when he does things like this. My ex used to do this behind my back and i busted him one day by posting my own ad with a different picture and name. He was all for hooking up with the fake girl that i was pretending to be. If i were you I would be wondering about my husbands alternate agenda, and do some serious investigating. What other reason would a married man have for putting a personal ad online? If he has nothing to hide he shouldn't be worried if you ask questions about what he's doing and why.
2007-04-08 05:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by tink_0218 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Too young" is just an excuse. What, was he seven? You are able to commit to a marriage at a very young age, if you want to.
Of course he wants a "Cool" wife. Are you buying this? Don't let this man fool you into keeping you as a main meal and dishes on the side. This is not what a marriage is and his eyes should be only on you. Require a commitment - forget about being cool. This man needs to grow up. Even looking at another woman with lust in your heart is cheating.
2007-04-08 05:08:00 · answer #4 · answered by mom of 5 in CA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well tahst middle age crisise obviousley dear! i understand ur excitiy abiut hsi recent behaviour but am tellin ya it could be worse u knwo what i mena ha hes just using words whcih probabaly what he can offer to otehr sex right now but again dont be too comfortable coz alot of girls( u said girls of diffrent races) woudl love to hook with soem old guy use him in various ways ( money , immegration....)
so keep an eye on him just dotn let him see u watchin him and tell him that he seems to eb havin graet tiem taht ur considerign these personal ads as well . his reaction will let u knwo hwo deeply involved he is and how innocent it is !
good luck!
p.s. i met my hsuband on line he was in usa i was in saudi at the ! so never underestimate internet relations!
good luck
2007-04-08 04:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl, if he is on the comp. doing all that, he is doing something wrong,give him a choice and see what he picks you or the comp. and u will have ur answer. dont let him fool u he wants more than u think
2007-04-08 04:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by robbieh 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHY THE HECK IS UR HUSBAND POSTING PERSONAL ADS?
Darn right you should be worried.
2007-04-08 04:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh yeah worry ..i would confront him on this and yes i foresee you getting hurt..good luck
2007-04-08 07:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by mindy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋