What do you do if a person you really hurt doesn't forgive you?

Question

I care very much for this person. And I feel terrible of what I did.

Answer 1

Just clearly let them know you still want their forgiveness. Then turn it over to God or your higher source, knowing you have done all you can do to make up for it and to admit you were wrong. Some people don't have the capacity to forgive and that is their cross to bear, not yours. Stop feeling bad about this. You can humble yourself and admit you were wrong but the other person cannot forgive. They have the far greater problem than you have, so give them space and just pray for them. And don't make the mistake with someone else in the future. It's part of being human. Now be a peace about this, especially on Easter. Happy Easter Hon!!@8-)

Answer 2

Your question indicates that you are hurt yourself, as you feel terrible about it.
The issue is what kind of thing you did to another person may be the issue. After all, if it was a real bad thing then some people may not particularly like to forgive the offender. Others still will, as like myself, I am not one holding grudges against anyone, as it is more against myself then to others if I did.

It might be that the other person may not desire to forgive, at least at the moment, wanting you to feel what it is to be hurt.

It does however bring home to you that in future you ought to be more careful in matters.

Considering the above stated, you have to consider therefore if it is worthwhile to seek the other person to forgive you or it might be a waste of effort or indeed it might make things worse to try to get forgiveness.

Perhaps, just to send a card with, “JUST TO TELL YOU I APOLOGIZE” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, MAY DO THE TRICK.

However, if the other person doesn’t want to forgive then you do better getting over it and leave it by that. At least you tried.

Answer 3

Just give them space. You hurt them, so you have to respect the fact they they have to process what went on, and get their feelings together. In time, you will probably be forgived, but it depends greatly on what you did.

Some people don't forgive at all. It's not good for the other person to not forgive, because that's what will help them move on. Remember though, just because they forgive you (if/when they do) doesn't mean everything is okay and will be the same.

Just give space. You already disrespected them in some way, so you have to wait until you can be trusted and respected again.

Answer 4

Apologize

Let them know you want to hear them and let
them express their anger

Ask what you can do to make amends

Give them some space if they need it but don't totally disappear - this will let them know you want to work through it

If they need space allow it - and if you see them during that time be respectful of them (say hi)

Vow never to do the same thing to anyone else, ever.

Finally, if you have made amends and had a change of heart, and they are still furious - its their feelings and don't take it on. You can only do so much and if they want to hold a grudge for a long time. It isn't yours.

Everyone makes some mistakes and some are doozies. I've made a few myself. The important thing is to forgive yourself. Move on. Letting people of the hook goes both ways. And no one is perfect.

Hope it helps :)

Answer 5

First of all, You'd have to forgive yourself :)

Thumbs up for realising & accepting your mistake. Not many people can do that.

The person above was talking abt paitience & sincerity. I totally agree. Time does heal all wounds. Since, it's someone you really care about, I'm sure he/she cares about you just as much thus the immense hurt.

The one u hurt, needs time to get over the incident. I'm sure he/she finds it hard to accept what u did therefore can't forgive you right away. Don't worry about it. Your sincerity will show that you're truly sorry. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect :)

Answer 6

Me.... I wouldn't wait forever. If the person I offended made it clear forgiveness in not in the cards I would wish them well and move on with my life. I am not going to spend the next 10 or 20 years hoping for forgiveness that will never come.

Answer 7

You give them time. People can't be forced into forgiving, when they feel hurt. Two things are important for them: for your apology to be sincere and this can only be proven with action overtime, and the second thing is to let them know they are in charge of the situation, meaning they have the right to forgive or not forgive at their own time and pace.

In conclusion:
Show them that you are really sincere when you say you are sorry and give them time! Let them know you are not apologizing because you want to be forgiven, but because you regret what you did- and that it's up to them to decide whether or not they want to forgive you in their own time and pace.

Answer 8

All you can do is express your regrets, and wait. Hopefully, with time the person can forgive. Sometimes though you cannot get away with hurting someone, you can't take back what you did and sometimes you lose a friend. Hopefully you learn for the future.

Answer 9

You can only do so much. Do all you can to make up for it and if they still won't forgive you, you just have to move on. There is only so much you can do. If you are honestly sorry about what you did and you think you did the best you could to make up for it, don't feel bad just move on.

Answer 10

As they all say: "Time heals all wounds."

Patience should be with you; give the person more time with whatever the person is undergoing as of the moment.

Just make the person feel that you really want to explain what happened, and eventually things will work out, the person will try to open the doors to forgiveness.

Be sincere, that is most important.