Am I suffering from depression or some self esteem problem?

Question

I went out with a guy and lent him what totals to £11000 after we broke up. I was 24-25. He calls once in a bue moon. Though he probably believes that because hes borrrowed that amount of money he has control over me. Im 27 now and started seeing a guy who seemed caring but i rarley hear from. And only seems to be after 1 thing. Yet im tempted to call him when Im bored as I have not long moved out of my parents house and its a bit lonely. I didnt start dating till 24 and my relationships arnt really relationships at all. Ive had councelling but it pointed out the flaws and it was just someone to speak to really. Do you think maybe Cognitive behavioural therapy is worth a try? I am reading self help books also but its keeping with the advice that I find difficult. Why is so hard to find someone nice to care about me. Its not like im looking to hard or acting desperate?
I try to occupy my mind with books exercise cleaning. i work unsociable hours so groups are difficult.

Answer 1

and you think a bunch of unqualified strangers can help you with this...????

Answer 2

I think you have both: depression and self-esteem issues. The reason I say this is because you're still living with your parents and you didn't start dating until 24 (less than three years ago). You need to figure out the reason you stayed in your parents house this long, why you didn't start dating until age 24, and why do you think that love is about giving you all you've got including money, sex, and other things - you do know that love is more than that - so much more. With that £11000, you could have gotten you a place to stay and not be dependent on your parents.
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Answer 3

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Answer 4

I think it's a self esteem issue personally. If you felt good about yourself and felt like you where deserving of someone worthwhile you would be with a good guy. I know in my younger years I went out with some low life's but as you age you start to realize what you are as a person and not just what you are on the outside. It is the total package that matters. I think you just need to accept that you deserve better then him and once you realize it walking away will be alot easier.

Answer 5

Loneliness is overwhelming and leads us to make decisions and or choices we would not make if we weren't so lonely. You say your not looking to hard or act desperate, well I believe this but think you may put that aura around yourself and its a shell . The shell you keep yourself in. In the shell you love yourself and know who you are and what you want, out of the shell you've many undesirable attempts to receive acceptance to only find an empty lot. First of all you have a good start because you seem to know who you are and what you like and want. like a nice man. You should just keep in mind that soon you get old and late you get smart. SOW YOUR WILD OATS AND HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR YOUTH. One day you will be walking along and when you least expect it out of the blue there he will be. Have faith young women , in the lord he will give you all you need and in the most hour of darkness call out to him and he will be with you. Stop giving any man or person money like that. Conflict of interest ! Don't mix pleasure with business and vise versa. Have a great life.

Answer 6

Maybe cognitive behavior therapy would help. You need to develop some self esteem, I think, and maybe some understanding of social boundaries. Life can be lonely. My favorite suggestion is doing volunteer work. Helping others can change your focus from yourself and your problems to others and, well, another perspective on life. Sooner or later your prince will come when you least expect it. In the meantime, you can develop yourself with interesting experiences of life. And sometimes it is good to just talk to someone.

Answer 7

Well low self-esteem and depression are highly related!! Most people who are depressed have low self-esteem. It is likely that low self-esteem leads to people becoming depressed because people with low self-esteem constantly think negatively about themself thus leadig to them becoming depressed! However people who are prone to depression become low in self-esteem during bouts of their depression. I highly recommend CBT! Like you say counselling is not useful - it just encourages you to talk about your problems without actually do anything about them! CBT is great for people with depression/confidence problems/low self-esteem/ issues with assertiveness because it encourages people to change their thoughts and thus their behaviour. However you have to be motivated to make the changes. Much of the therapy involves 'homework' in that you have to practive the techniques outside of the therapy sessions. It is not easy but of course it won't be because it involves changing habits of your lifetime.

I suspect you have read self-help books that employ CBT methods, hence why you are considering CBT? The problem with books like these however is they are very generalised! By seeing a face to face therapist you will be expected to use the methods you have (probably) read about. However the difference between self help CBT books and face to face CBT therapy is that a therapist can help you identify your problem areas and thus design a program that is more suited to your problem areas - something that self-help books can't! Self-helps books are really only for those who have a clear idea about what problem thoughts/behaviours they want to change, and have the motivation to change them on their own! Therefore I think you should consider seeing a CBT therapist if you feel that along with the support of your therapist you can actively use the methods to change you life!! A therapist can make all the difference, because they can give you feedback on how you are doing and give you advice on where you are going wrong when trying to make changes using CBT methods. People with low-self esteem tend to need reassurance, thus a therapist can help you by reassuring you that you are stepping in the right direction.

I hope I have made sense to you, and whatever you decide to do good luck! I too suffer low self esteem-depression and know how difficult it is to make changes!!

Answer 8

This is a problem because you are not aware of the reality which is: nothing is out of the game, you are just playing a game (not living).
You are sitting in heaven, the earth is unreal, it's just a landscape in the game.
You move your character, other characters are also controlled by you. The objective and mission of the game is to have fun. So don't worry, nor regret. Just be creative and imaginative, only so you can have fun in this game.
What other people mean to you if not nothing? For others are just object in the game like your character.
Traditional games consist of moving one side, other side is moved by the computer or other people. In the universal game, everything is moved by god who does not need friend.

Answer 9

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