Why do so many women settle for being nothing more but a wife and mother?

Question

I'm 19 and would never let that be my life ,why do so many other women?

Answer 1

Why do you settle for being nothing more then a close-minded little girl? I'm 29, and I would never let that be my life, why do you?

Answer 2

I find the phrasing of your question to be demeaning to those who live their lives this way. "Never let that be my life " may imply that you are exercising power over your own life, but it also assumes that anyone who is a wife and mother has not exercised the same power.

Please give these women some credit. Not only did most of them choose it, but it is a choice that others would happily make, if their financial resources permitted it. If it is not a choice YOU would make, fine. You have other options.

As for why it is a valid and desirable choice for some: It comes down to personal values. Where children are concerned, many parents and psychologists believe it is best for the children to have a parent at home with them all the time. Because of economic factors, it is often in the best interest of the family to have the mother be the one to stay home, however, there are instances where she makes more money than the father, so sometimes the stay-home parent is the dad.

There are many varieties of stay-at-home moms - some keep immaculate homes and gardens, some volunteer at the local school or nursing home, some coach soccer or swimming, some organize political rallies, some are animal rights activists, some have a home based business, some practice and teach yoga.....you get the idea.

Answer 3

This is your perspective and that is fine. As you get older you will realize that women come from all kinds of different backgrounds, cultures and upbringings. You have many variables and some women make the choice that this is what is important to them. There is nothing demeaning about staying home and looking after your children, in fact the only reason this is thought to be so is that for the longest time this was exclusive to women. Women and their roles were always seen as secondary and thus not as worthy as those of men. Raising a child to be a responsible and caring adult is probably the most important job in the world and the government should recognize this and give those who choose this vocation some monetary recognition as well as health benefits and pension recompense. There are some women who are also not given the choice to do anything other than stay home. This is a result of the power imbalance in their culture, marriage, religion etc. Feminism is about being given the choice of what you wish to do.
Whatever you decide I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

Actually the majority of women have that as part of their lives. Before and after the children there's lots of other things to be done. However being a wife and mother is and extremely satisfying and enjoyable job and most women don't get to do it for long unless they spread there children out a lot. When children are small and need more attention is a particularly exciting time when they are learning so fast.

It's not for everybody, and nobody says you have to, but I don't know anybody who devoted a few years to looking after their children and regreted it.

Answer 5

People do what makes them happy. Just b/c they want to do the wifey/mother thing doesn't make it settling. Just b/c you want something different doesn't make you better.

I have never been married, but I have 2 daughters (7 & 11). I love them to death, but I am not homemaker material. I enjoy having a career, etc. But I know women that live for being the soccer mom, etc.

That isn't what you want, but trust me those women have a far tougher job with greater rewards. You may choose to have a great career and think what you gain is greater. It's all about priorities. It doesn't make you better or not. Just a different path.

At 19 you have a huge life ahead of you. What I wanted at 19 changed at 25 and so on. Life has a way of changing your priorities too. Don't knock someone else's path until you've taken it.

Answer 6

I understand your question. I think that cycles happen and they tend to do what their mother did and their grandmother did and the cycle continues. It seems that many human beings men and women seem to all follow in each others footsteps and people tend to do what most everyone else does. Motherhood is not easy and should certainly be admired, but i understand your thoughts on wondering if women feel complete having this be their whole life. To some it may complete them and they feel very rewarded, others may later feel that they want more out of life when their children are grown.

Answer 7

Fist off I have not even bothered to read the other answers to your question Princess, but I believe that no one is going to force you to be "a wife and mother" it is up to you to decide what to do with your life. Having stated that I would say that it is probably one of the most important things a female could do in society (raise a family) and we as a society should show them more appreciation for the great responsibility they take on, Right Ladies?
My wife has done a fantastic job and I tell her everyday.

Answer 8

You seem to know what is right for you--that's genuinely great.
You should not knock other women's choices, BTW.
Being a Mom and raising your own kids is the very best 'job' in the whole world.
I had a deep desire to be a Mother from the time I was a little girl.
Being with my kids has never disappointed me, even in the times of all-nighters with a sick child, a child being in trouble, etc.
I have worked all kinds of jobs over the years, and most of my former employers couldn't tell you my name.
I have been a Mom for many years, too, and to my kids, I am very important, as they are to me.
Good luck

Answer 9

For some women this is all they want in life.They want this from childhood and believe that this is all they want to be.
We cannot judge what women want for their lives. It takes all women to be individual if we were all the same life would be boring. You are only 19 and you have alot of living to do, but one day you may decide you will become a wife and mother and you have done everything and that is what you have chosen to do in that stage of your life. It is your choice and theirs. As for me I am a wife and mother of 3 and I work and juggle my life around crazy but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Answer 10

WOAH there little girl! NOTHING MORE??? You have no clue. I was a housewife and "mother" raising 3 nephews (and whichever assundry other nieces and nephews as got dropped on me for various time periods) for 10 years. You say my life was meaningless and "nothing more" than "wife and mother". Oh, honey, you have a shock coming.

As a working mom, I got up each day, got the kids to school, went to work, picked them up at the day care at the end of the day, fed em and put them to bed. Cleaned a little, which was easy since no one was ever in the house, and then relaxed or went to bed.

As a HOUSEWIFE however, things changed. I got up earlier. I had to. As a working mom I had the excuse of having a job, so I just gave the kids money for lunch. Housewives MAKE lunch a lot more often. Then I got the kids up and sent them off to school. I cleaned the house, then took the baby and went to playgroup. That ended at 10. At 10:30 I went to the school where I was room mother for the kindergarten class. I worked there until the kids went to lunch at noon. Then I took the baby home and we ate lunch. At 12:30 we went to the shelter where I volunteered as a dog trainer for abused dogs. I put in 2 hours there and then went to pick up the older boys at school. We're a housewife now, no more day care. We hurry home and do the boy's homework, making sure they have help and are right. At this time I decide what is going to be for dinner and set the meat in the fridge to thaw. If it's Monday Wednesday or Thursday, it's usually something that takes less time or I set up the crock pot now. Monday and Wednesday are Thai Kwon Do for the boys from 4-5:30. Thursdays is Boy scout night. I'm a troop leader. On Tuesdays my husband takes the kids at 6 after dinner. I have my PTA meetings. On Friday we try to do something together as a family, but often I'm taking the kids to school related projects. Saturday and Sunday I'm chauffeur almost all day. I worked a LOT harder as a housewife then I EVER did as a working mom. When I decided to go back to work and the interviewers asked why I was returning to work all I could honestly answer was that I needed the break.

You say that ALL I was is wife and mother. I say I was a LOT more than that. I was maid, chef, chauffeur, chief cook and bottle washer, laundress, room mother, PTA secretary, Volunteer, troop leader, friend, teacher, mother, wife and probably more that I'm not even thinking of.

Another important note is that while my neighbors complained about their kids bad grades or behavior, I had 3 straight a students. The oldest is 14. He graduated high school 2 years ago. He takes college courses online. The middle child is 13 and he's a junior in high school. The youngest at 8 hasn't skipped grades yet, but he's in the advanced program now. All of them are well developed children with high potential for a great future.

I admit that the life I led is not for every woman. Some just can't hack it.