My darling bf, we'll call him ANGUS... he was brought up horribly. I am guessing there was alot of neglect and abuse. Well, I don't know how to 'handle' him. He gets angry and rages. Not toward me but if I am in the vicinity, I am not immune. He's never been treated well and now he doesn't know how to process that someone cares about HIM. Angus is very affectionate, passionate, works hard, and treats me well 95% of the time. We do not fight - and that is partially because I am afraid to bring things up in fear that he will start in on one of his tirades.
I think if he was able to explore some of the emotional issues under this anger and lack of control, it may help him but I don't know how to approach the subject without him getting upset. Please... save my mind, people! A D V I C E !
2007-04-07 19:53:12 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
First of all, if he EVER puts his hands on you in a way you do not like.. . .run, don't walk away from him and have nothing at all to do with him again. Not ever. Because that sort of crap, once it starts, just gets easier for the perpetrator to do over time.
I don't think you can approach this w/o getting him upset - getting upset is what he does! It is all he knows to do. SO: you need to control the setting. Other people who are supportive of him should be there. Your pastor's office is a good idea - if you don't have one, GET one.
He is a nice guy to you and treats you great, but you need to deal with this business at a point in your life where you can drop him like a bad habit if need be. Hey, at least save YOUR life out of this mess.
Good luck.
2007-04-07 20:01:35 · answer #1 · answered by Jason W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would like you to find your way to attract the best from this man. You indicate you are not happy with ANGUS's stability, yet you are content with how he treats you.
It is time to speak with him about your intentions.
Be clear about what you want here.
At this time, you are allowing a major contradiction in this relationship:
I love a man who might hurt me.
Think deeply about how your would like things to be, and pay attention to what your deeper thoughts are saying in the background. When these deep thoughts feel better, you will know that you are achieving harmony within your whole self.
After you have done this, present ANGUS the big picture from your new positive outlook. You are creating a new positive outlook that does not tell contradicting stories.
You want assurance from your man that he will always cherish you and treat you wonderfully. When you see him not treating others well, it creates doubt that he can honor you.
I'm glad you have decided to deal with this now; because now is the time to set things right.
Best wishes.
2007-04-08 03:21:04 · answer #2 · answered by flip33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to get out his anger about these things doing some sort of sport and dont yell at you for things you never did to him. or just leave him, it wont improve
2007-04-08 02:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋