my son's a mama's boy. he's turning 4 but he still sleeps with me. husband sleeps in the other bed.

Question

. Does this affect our marriage? bec. of it, husband dnt get enuf t.l.c. He's not complaining though but still.......what do u think?

Answer 1

You little one is not a mama's boy. Kids are looking for security at night, and yours is finding it sleeping with you.

Now how to break him out of it? Consider setting up his bedroom to be a place that he never wants to leave at night. Perhaps let him select his "favorite" sheet set for his bed, and get blankets and accessories he likes. Also get him a night light or other devices to give him the sense of security, and he will want to look forward to that secure little room tinstead of sleeping in your bed.

Next is establishing a bedtime routine so he can expect to sleep in his nice comfy bed with his favorite sheets and blankets and his stuffed animals.

In summary, make his own bedroom arrangement so awesome that sleeping with Mommy is boring.

Answer 2

I too am a stay at home mom and i agree with you.. I will hold my baby as much as i want! I have rocked my daughter to sleep since i brought her home (she is 7 months now) she doesn't seem to have any problems when my mom or mother -in-law babysits for a night. I never asked how they get her to sleep but they manage just fine. My baby is VERY fussy for my husband and won't go to sleep for him unless she is so tired she can't keep her eyes open! Despite what people say I personally believe you can not spoil a baby by holding them. Can there really be a such thing as 'holding too much'? I say you do what YOU want to do especially if you are the one with the baby 99% of the time!

Answer 3

HONEY! You have committed the ultimate mistake. If your husband isnt complaining( iam not trying to scare you) than you should be worried. How are you two suppose to be intimate with your baby in bed with you and your husband in a totally different room. Yes, your marriage will be greatly affected. Talk to your son, remind him that he is a big boy now and needs to sleep in his big boy bed. If you have to read him a story have some cuddle time and then put him to bed. IN HIS BED! He may cry at first but he will get use to it. Let jhim know that mommy will be there for him. My daughter is two and we had to do this with her. Now it has gotten to the point were if she is sleep she will ask to go to her bed. Give it a few weeks it will work. I promise!

Answer 4

This does seem unbalanced. The son is getting the place of the husband (sort of speak). I wouldn't let this continue because it will probably be acted out in other arenas of the three of you's relationships. Like, your son will eventually think that he has more say so (power) than your husband. But only you and your husband can decide this. What looks strange to others might work out perfectly for those involved.

Answer 5

I was a mama's boy, but at 4 I wasn't sleeping with just mom. I'm now a married man, and anything that would make me sleep in another bed would not have me be a happy husband. Get your husband back in bed with you, and send your kid to his bed. If he needs help getting to sleep because of nightmares take him back to bed and read him a story or something but don't let him sleep with you. Make sure his dad plays ball and teaches him stuff that men need to know, like how to deal with girls, otherwise he'll have a horrid time at school growing up.

Answer 6

this can be very detrimental to your marriage. I would start training the son right now to sleep on his own, preferably in a separate room. You are actually neglecting your husband now, and am sure you won't want to risk losing him in the not too distant future ? Many women have made this mistake but for you, it's probably still not too late yet to make some changes now.

Answer 7

Of course it effects your marriage and it's not good. You are being a bad parent and wife. It's your fault your son is still sleeping with you, it has nothing to do with the child. He has complained but you made him understand that isn't a good thing to do so he doesn't any more.

Please stop blaming your child, he is a mama's boy because of you not him. Keep this up and you will lose your husband.

Answer 8

just because your husband isn't complaining, doesn't mean he is okay with it. And if he is okay with it, then that is a problem as well. Regardless of your marital or sexual situation, the kid needs to sleep in his own bed in his own room. If he is still sleeping with mommy when he gets to be school age, the other kids will eat him alive if they find out...at any age and for the rest of his life. Believe me, I had a friend that told everyone he was superman in kindergarten, and we were still making fun of him for it through high school.

Answer 9

It's time to teach your son to sleep in his own area. I know it is painful for ya both, but it has to be done. And yes, eventually, no matter how patient your husband is he'll start feeling unwanted. (Like maybe you want your son in bed so you won't have to....) Good luck and don't worry, the little guy will get used to his own bed and he won't hate ya... :-) (even if he says it, which WILL happen some time, lol) Happy Easter

Answer 10

Put your husband where he belongs and get your son his own bed. Both of them will be happier in the end. My youngest brother slept with my parents till he was seven. He was a royal pain in the ... bed. He didn't start to grow (independence wise) until after Dad put his foot down and got him out of there. It took a while for Mom and Dad to mend their relationship, and there were no more children.