my husband's never home and doesnt ever want to spend time with me and our kids when he is but my best friends husband and I have formed a kinship ashis wife ( my friend ) is the same with him. We are definatly attracted to each other and I'm falling in love with him. However my husbands company just relocated us to the other side of Australia I've been gone over a week and still think of him all the time, I even cried not at the thought of leaving my home town but at leaving him what should I do I just miss him so much bu tI dont want to be the cause of the end of there marriage and I'm in the middle of custody case for my two children from my first marriage and need to present a untited front so to speak I know that sounds like I'm a user but my kids mean the world to me and I'd die for them. this other man however treats me like a princess ( within reason ) and is closer to my kids than their own father is please help me what do I do
2007-04-07 18:57:29 · 27 answers · asked by fallinhgangel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your right to let this go and glad you moved away. Im' sorry your husband isnt' there for you and this man fills your void. but its wrong. You hunger for that and this man is in the r ight place at the right time. Don't worry there will be someone else perferbably a free man not attached to anyone else. Just reemmber your doing the right thing although it may hurt you now . in time you will move on . but you saved another marriage from breaking up and hurting two other people. if things are meant to be and if he or your friend isn't happy they will go there own way then you and him if you meet up can start something. but let it happen the honest way.
no sense breaking up there marriage and yours is already in bad shape. and perhaps you can try talking to your husband and trying to explain to him how your feeling and how he's not around enough for you and you want to get back to the two of you and you want to be a part of his life and that he's important and you want to be just as important in his life.
good luck
2007-04-07 20:59:43 · answer #1 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question of motives. Call me all the names under the sun but the husband of a woman I know and I have started to meet and text a bit. We haven't slept together yet, may not even ever do. All I know is that he hasn't been happy for some time and I haven't. In a way, he helps me and I help him. We talk about his wife and what he can do to try to get it back after this bad patch. We are both under no illusions about what we are doing. I'm single, yes I could find someone else, yes I plan to whether me and X continue to see each other. it may be once a week, once a month, once a year. What we won't do is plot and plan and scam for time together - if time pops up, great. The difference between you (OP) and me are that I'm not "going for anything" - I like his wife and I don't want them to throw 15yrs away for petty arguments. I'm certainly not about to steal him away. Yes, what we do is still wrong but I'm happy, he's happy, she's happy that he's happy even if she doesn't know why. All I know is it's not me that will split them up. If you can live like that and he wants that to, that's an option. But I wouldn't be "going for" anything - her husband isn't a prize, he's her husband. Don't take him away. If it's broken already, let that dust settle then approach her. I know I appear a bit two faced but I feel it's different in my case - there really is no agenda on either mine or x's side, we just like the 5 mins break in the monotony of our lives. And he saved me in a way, bless him. I have the odd text to look forward to. She can wash his clothes and nag at him all she wants.
2016-05-19 22:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by hang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geesh, what part of the marriage vows don't you understand ?? Love, honor, cherish and be faithful to.
So, becasue you have a crush on him and he has filled a void in your life doesn't mean that you genuienlly love him. You don't love him. You just need someone who will give you what your husband isn't giveing you. Get some counseling pronto.
Think about the avalance of troubles you will cause. Both spouses hurt, Children will probably hate you, there will be financial issues. His mother could have a nervous breakdown.
His nieces and nephews and yours will think ewwwww sluts in the family.
NO one should ever leave a marriagee for another person. The chance of this new relationship being lasting is almost non at all.
And believe me.....if you cheat with him you will cheat on him. Likewise, if he cheats with you he will eventually on you.
The two of you just have a crush that makes you feel like desirable high school kids. It will go away and you will get over it.
Never ever end a marriage for another person. It just never works out.
It sounds like you have trouble staying married. and even have fears you might lose your children. What does all this say abuot your morals and your honor and self esteem.
It sounds like it is time for you to grow up. Make an honest effort to be a good wife to your husband. Get some counseling if you can.
Figure it out that you can't get married and fall for other guys.
We all have issues concerning whom we are with, we deal with it or we have conversations with our mates to agree with what needs to be done if one of you feels like the marriage isn't failing.
Start to love yourself like a princess.......and NEVER ever expect a man or anyone to give you your value. Only then will you be wise enoug to have a marriage
2007-04-07 20:45:35 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are a friend!
Don't you see?
Come on if there is something wrong with your relationship you have to find out what it is and work on it instead of looking for it in other people. There must be a reason that you married him and I know that you loved him find out why and retrace that. This could work but I think that by taking you here, there and everywhere he is not just taking you away from friends and a sense of home he is taking it away from you.
This is something that you have to look into as well but I think that you should really try to make things work between you two instead of moving on. This seems like it is history repeating itself that whenever something gets bad you turn and run. You need to stand up and show some sort of example and that life lesson is "when the tough get going you get tougher."
Just as you are being uprooted you should not let your kids suffer the same faith you should try to make things work I suggest that you go to someone who is professional in this field that would be able to give ou expert advice from now on. This is something that should not be taken lightly because this is a serious threat to you marriage as well as your family.
2007-04-07 19:19:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to back off.
The only reason you are after your friends husband is because your husband is M.I.A. They have a happy marriage....and if her husband is ever going to cheat on her, you definitely do not want that woman to be you. She is your best friend you say? Then she knows you like a book. Instead of running into her husbands arms, you should be trying to pick up the pieces of your own relationship. Apparently there is enough drama happening in your life. You don't need to add this to your list of problems. Be a good friend, and leave them alone.
2007-04-07 19:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by Vanessa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that your husband does love you. And think about the mess you are dealing with with the battle with the custudy suite. You dont need any added steess on your plate it is full. Your husband is trying to give all of u the best life he can, and he may feel like he is not appreciated as well as you. You have to go thru some big waves to get to the shore and be gratefull. Dont pull the ball of yarn apart. Start rolling it back in the tight ball like it was when you were first married and make a beautiful blanket to cuddle in and count your blessings.
2007-04-07 19:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by Juanita S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not split up your friends marriage. This guy has comforted you when you are down, that is why now you have feelings for him. It is natural to have feelings for him since he has been there for you when your husband is not. Your custody case will be effected by this if you decide to pursue this infatuation with your friends husband. You will also lose your friend and she could testify against you in court. It is a dangerous situation. Not sure where you are from but in the US, if it were me I would cry it out and get over that guy. Your kids are more important.
2007-04-07 19:07:43 · answer #7 · answered by Gidget 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as far as you being with someone you dont love and treats you like crap then leave. but messin with someones marriage is different, you have to think of how many people will be hurt if you two do get together. im not saying that you shouldnt im just saying you need to think long and hard before you make any critical decisions. if it was me than i would have a talk with this guy that your in love with and see how far it will really go and if he isnt happy either than yeah i would go for it, tell your husband that your not happy with him and follow your heart, but if your not sure on how this other man feels about you then i would make sure that he has the same feelings cause if you open this can of worms and he dont wanna leave his wife then where is that going to leave u
2007-04-07 19:05:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a married woman "in love" with your best friends husband. This man who you think is so wonderful is a man who has formed a relationship with his wifes best friend. Cheating isnt just about sex. and cheating is ugly no matter who is doing it. Everything you have said says something about YOU. Look in a mirror and make a decision to be a better person. Good luck with this. And hopefully you will figure this all out before you hurt a lot of people.
2007-04-07 19:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by Go fish 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have a lot going on. You have to follow your heart. First, put your children first. After they are O.K. really think...is this other guy worth it? How would you be if you had to tell all your family and friends that you and your prince are in love, leaving your spouses, and getting together. It would be difficult, but would it be right or cause a lot of problems and regret? Have you all expressed your feelings to one another? What would he do...is he willing to leave his wife? There are a lot of questions to answer. Remember we have only one life to live and must make the most of it without regret...do you love your husband or the other guy?
2007-04-07 19:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by aloysiusdiogenes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋