What do you feel is the worst thing you've ever done to someone you love, and do you forgive yourself?

Question

I've never set out to intentionally hurt another person, but I know that that doesn't make it ok that I have hurt someone very close to me, not physically, but emotionally. Because I lied to this person while I was ridiculously drunk, he went through 11 hours or more on a search for me in another state, at homeless shelters, police stations, alleys...etc., and all of this because I was a drunk lier wanting attention. I've been drunk before and know that I turn into this horrible creature, but I've never done anything this heartless and hurtful before, I hate myself and know now that I can never touch alcohol again. I don't know how I could have worried him and hurt him so much. He thought that maybe I could be dead. It was horrible what I did. I made him think that I was suicidal and that is an unforgivable act. Can you please give an honest answer and tell me something you've done that you regret the most and feel guilty for. I feel so alone in my pain and need forgiveness.

Answer 1

I abandon a person who loved me, but it was because I didn't love me,. I did not know what love was. so I would abandon those around me, who loved me and keep company around those people I thought cared about me, and some did, but as I recoverd over years I forgave myself for the hurt and pain I caused them, by not allowing myself to get lost anymore to anything or anyone except GOD! so in time when you learn about your self and why you do what you do: you can learn to forgive your self.

It sounds like you have the disease of addiction, and that's normally an allergic reaction to drugs & alcohol where as normal people take a drink and our fine, but addicts can not drink and act normal the fact is that it is a mind mood altering substance that can trigger emotions &thoughts of the addict in which they have no controll, and urge to drink again the disease it self is fatal and incurable like all disease, but recovery is possibe once abstinance is applied with spirtual princple in essence it is a spiritual diease and the only ones that can help the most is GOD and another recovering addict, so if your serious make some meetings, you can find AA on line and start there,. then find a meeting on the website in your area. you will be fine and in time like i said prior, you will learn to forgive your self once you have learned about your disease, we are not responsible for our disease we are responsible for our recovery! because we don't know how or why it got started it always has that baffling effect on those around you and it has the power to change you into what you would not believe.

Answer 2

It may be a long time before you can forgive yourself, likely longer than it takes him or anyone else to forgive you. What a hard lesson to learn and a lousy way to have to learn it, but you've learned something about yourself that very few people would ever confess to. You're showing some pretty serious strength. You know you have to stay away from mood-altering substances. That's step #1. A very good place to start. Learn to keep respecting yourself in this fashion and you'll do fine. We all make mistakes that reap painful consequences. It's the repetition of the same mistakes that creates our "hell". And NO act is unforgiveable if the intent to correct the behaviour remains true and you take the precautions to prevent further injury. I ... feel for you. I betrayed someone who loved me. I live with that pain everyday but have also learned that hating myself for it hurts everyone around me. That knowledge and subsequent truth has helped immensely in the healing process. All of these ugly truths about ourselves is what makes us better people in the long run. It gives us the ability to better understand others. It is the stuff compassion is made of. I believe you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. It's easy for me to say "I forgive you" and try to make you feel better. But you don't know me. It means nothing. You will work it out. And then you'll be there for the next you that comes along in your life and know exactly what it's all about.

Answer 3

It DOES make a difference if you did something intentionally or not. Also consider this: He made the choice to do what he did. You cannot take responsibility for that. When I was VERY young, & going through a chaotic phase in my life, I admit I behaved irrationally. I, also, was "hunted down" by someone who loved me very much. More than once! In fact, many times. I don't believe I was trying to get "attention," but that doesn't matter. I'd gotten to the point where my life was such a mess, I fully intended to kill myself. (I feel like I'm talking about another person--well--maybe I am.) But, this person had seen the signs, & had taken the cartrdiges out of my gun. In retrospect, the understanding & patience of this person still seems awesome. But, the choice was theirs, & much, much later, I came to understand that it was sort of "par for the course" in the relationship, & the hurt I felt I'd inflicted wasn't at ALL as severe as I'd thought. In fact, perhaps the relationship was symbiotic--the one who needed (me) & the one who needed to be needed. In any relationship, please remember that the other person is equally involved, taking on the responsibility or not. Of course you can forgive yourself! The fact that you feel so awful about it now, tells me you'd never do it again. LET IT BE FORGOTTEN. Please "let" yourself put it to rest. I'm certain he wouldn't want you to keep "suffering" for this incident, for which alcohol certainly played a part. Such foolish things we can do when we drink too much! But this was not a "sin," & I doubt he would think so. If you really feel you need forgiveness, then forgive YOURSELF. You can do it!

Answer 4

I cheated on my BF last year in college. He sort of knew it was going on, but I never actually admitted it. I guess I did it for a mixture of reasons- I was drunk, I liked the attention, and I felt ugly. So, it felt good to be wanted- even though I now know I was used. I would try to make excuses for myself like "My BF made me feel ugly, he ignored me, I never had much relationships or fun in HS so now is my time." But no matter what I tell myself, there was no excuse for that. If this didn't happen, our relationship would probably be better and I often wonder if I wouldn't be so mad all the time, etc. We stayed together a year longer, but I actually think we are in the middle of breaking up now.

Phew, that feels good to get off my chest. This is not who I want to be- or how I am. But, it happened. Mistakes happen. You live, you learn. Although we do horrible things, they help us to not repeat history.

Answer 5

First off, i know it is so hard when we hurt people we care about, So i hope you feel better soon. Don't worry things will work out. I think i have been betrayed alot more than i have betrayed others, but there are a few things i have done that i'd give the world to take back. The only thing that sticks out in my mind at the moment is i really wanted to be liked when i was younger, and i stabbed so many people in the back to get there. It is all coming back to bite me in the *** now, but i deserve it. We all mistakes hun...especially when alcohol is involved. I know it is so hard, but it'll all blow over. Hang in there! :]

Answer 6

I treated my closest friend at that time like crap (was too possessive, negative and insensitive to her feelings) and said mean things about my friends behind their backs which hurt them a lot. As for forgiving myself.... I am still trying to do that.

Answer 7

I did something very similar. Only I drove him to the other side of the planet (no kidding, he spent a year in Japan)
Then I quit drinking with some help of people I met in a bunch of church basements. And little by little my life got some order and less trauma-drama in it.

Swearing off because of something humiliating doesn't work for people who do things like that...."Normal drinkers" would never think about doing something like that.....

Look up AA - and worry about the forgiveness later. Get your head on straight in other ways first.

Answer 8

i found out my then husband, (Ex now), strengthen into cheating on me with a hood rat. i could not have self belief he could harm our kinfolk like that. we were mutually because of the fact that intense college, had 2 toddlers supported him in truck driving force college, and so on. I instructed him I desire he could die. and now, he's close to death because of the fact he has extreme wellness themes, He would not have any.kidneys now. his transplant did not paintings and he has been on dialysis for months. i had beat myself up for a protracted time. I do desire which you detect inner peace. as long s you're truly regretful god will truly forgive you. we are imperfect people and we do sin, intentionally and by probability.

Answer 9

I did not intervene when I noticed my gf's negligence was likely going to harm someone that was very close to us.

I argued with her about it, but I should have simply put my foot down and taken control and didn't. It turned out that I was right and to this day we both feel horribly guilty about the death that resulted.

Answer 10

I don't want to get into it, but I betrayed my best friend. It was a long time ago and I was stupid and naive. I know that I have changed now and so I forgive myself.. I am sorry for the pain I caused her. We all make mistakes.