Is she my friend?

Question

So I've been friends with a young lady for 6 months or so. I've been helping her out financially (about $1700/month), and she decided to move 2000 miles away. I helped her get what she needed - moving van, rent money, bills paid - and she left a few days ago. I called her on move day, as we were supposed to meet for coffee and goodbyes, but she was busy. I didn't hear back from her until about 5:00 pm, when she left me a voice mail at saying she was leaving. She called me the next evening to tell me she was in another state, and that she didn't leave the prior day. She was tired after she left me the voice mail, and decided to leave the next morning. I interpreted what happened as a clear sign that she was interested only in my wallet, not me. I sent her a text message that wasn't very nice, basically stating what I thought. She seems to disagree.

I wanted to get independent opinions as to whether I was wrong in my interpretatation, so I can let her know what other people think.

Answer 1

Hi, YES, she was only interested in your money. It's never a good thing to help someone out financially to win her favors. It creates a lot of resentment when you don't get what you expect in return. I am sorry she took advantage of you like that. It was DEFINITELY NOT NICE of her. She was a gold digger. The positive part of this though is that she's gone from your life and can't take more money from you. Please don't try to buy love. Love should come naturally and free. You'll meet some nice girl who loves you for who you are, and not what is in your wallet. I am so sorry.

Oh I almost forgot - NO, SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. Friends don't do this kind of thing to each other. Friends help each other out and they don't take advantage of your kindness. Friends don't leave without saying goodbye. Friends don't take money from friends for free.

Answer 2

ok, do me a favor and read the following excerpt and give me your thoughts on the matter at hand...once you do that, you will find the answer to your question which you can then deliver via pigeon not tonight cause i'm tired, but tomorrow when i'm not online...

"So I've been friends with a young lady for 6 months or so. I've been helping her out financially (about $1700/month), and she decided to move 2000 miles away. I helped her get what she needed - moving van, rent money, bills paid - and she left a few days ago. I called her on move day, as we were supposed to meet for coffee and goodbyes, but she was busy. I didn't hear back from her until about 5:00 pm, when she left me a voice mail at saying she was leaving. She called me the next evening to tell me she was in another state, and that she didn't leave the prior day. She was tired after she left me the voice mail, and decided to leave the next morning. I interpreted what happened as a clear sign that she was interested only in my wallet, not me. I sent her a text message that wasn't very nice, basically stating what I thought. She seems to disagree.

I wanted to get independent opinions as to whether I was wrong in my interpretatation, so I can let her know what other people think."

Answer 3

The day you were to move the two of you were going to meet up to have coffee and say good-by but she was to busy.I have mo vied out of state three times and you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off.Didn't she try to get you on your phone but you didn't answer so she left you a voice mail.How do you no she wasn't calling you to meet up with you then to say good-by and have coffee but when you didn't answer she decided to leave right then and there.You think may be you might have jumped to conclusions.She did call you the very next day to let you no where she was she didn't have to call you at all if she was up to something.I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt.What's it going to hurt the damage has already been done right.I'm not saying she was right by the way she handled this whole thing.I do think she really hurt your feelings by leaving you without so much as a decent good-by. You need closer or you will have this eating at you for the rest of your life.Write her a letter and ask her what really happened if she does not answer you then you no the truth but if she does then your no it was all a big misunderstanding and you will feel so much better about yourself.

Answer 4

She definitely wanted your money because if she accepted 1700 per month and didn't tell you i can't accept this she is a down right gold digger. She probably has other men giving her things just like you. She is not a friend if she was a friend she might have accepted it once maybe if she really needed money because something bad happen to her then i understand but it seems to me she is doing fine and doesn't have the dignity to at least do the same for you and help you out like that.

Answer 5

Baby i think you have been played...If that girl and yes i use the word girl because had she been a real woman she would have went though hells gate just to see you atleast one last time. She said it wasnt like that but you will see that the only time she will call you is when she needs something .God bless the child that has his own and from now own she would be own her own. Count this one up to a lost and move on and thank God that gold digger is out of your life.

Answer 6

Your story is complicated, so no one can really answer. But I always go on my first instinct. If you feel she was using you, There is a good chance your right, Of course she is not going to agree with something like that. In the future my friend... Don't ever give any woman alot of money to "help" them or "please" them. You are a giving person by nature and that is very cool but it can also hurt you, give them your time not your money!

Answer 7

Were you trying to be her friend or her benefactor? Don't blame her for using you, because at $1700 a month, you purchased her company. Real friends don't accept money from each other. They know it is the quickest and easiest way to end a friendship.

Answer 8

i hope u got some pu$$y out of this or she just playd you for all she could get. then when she knew you were getting to confident she realized that it was to late to get out so she took the only logical exit which was to move to another state. try apologizing and see what happens. tell her you want to come up for a visit. or to see the place. if she refuses then do no more. just learn from ur mistake. but if she says ok. then go there as soon as possible and get some. a weekends worth should get u your monies worth.

Answer 9

let it go
learn your lesson
That funny I think the same thing is happening to me now
GRR GOLD DIGGERS

"it wasn't very nice"? it was nice of you but not nice of her

did you expect "something " out of it?
if so then it was not "nice of you"

if not then what you worry about
you help her and hope she will help other down the road

Answer 10

Maybe she just needs some time alone. Dont get to hard on her. I'm sure she is still very much your freind.