Neice not ready for kindergarten, but her dad wants her to go?

Question

My 5 year old niece (birthday was in December) has been in preschool for a year and just had her "kindergarten screening". Her preschool teacher is recommending that she stay in preschool for another year. She has a bad speech impediment (she is in speech therapy) and her teacher says that she has "plateaued" in her skills since December. She is shy and cries easily. She is the youngest of 3 kids and I think she is just immature. (She has been tested for learning problems and doesn't have any other the speech delay.) My brother-in-law wants her to go. He is adamant that holding her back would be a mistake and immaturity is not a reason to keep her out of kindergarten. He thinks she will be teased for being the oldest in her class. I can sort of see his point. She would turn 7 halfway through kindergarten if they keep her back. She would be 19 when she graduates from HS. I still think she should stay back. How do I convince him? Being held back later would be worse!

She is attending a parochial preschool now and would continue in kindergarten at the same school. The teachers who evaluated her for kindergarten readiness have spent the entire year with her and know her (I think) pretty well. She is receiving speech therapy through the public school. She has already been evaluated for learning disabilities and apparently has none. (For Mr. Black--I put kindergarten screening in quotes because I've heard it called so many things. It was not meant to be derogatory.) Thank you, everyone for your help!

Answer 1

Teacher recommendations have value. Is there some developmental reason she should stay in preschool for another year? What will the preschool provide or what bench marks will she achieve if she stays in preschool for another year as opposed to going to kindergarten? Is the preschool providing speech therapy or is the (public) school providing this important service? Why did you write kindergarten screening in quotation marks? Who provided the kindergarten screening? Could the recommendation to stay in preschool for another year be self-serving for the preschool? What are the professional educators in your public school district recommending? How exactly is your niece not ready for kindergarten? One of the main purposes of kindergarten is to prepare children for the socialized nature of learning in a school. Kindergarten is not required in most states, but there may be strict rules about attendance ages for kindergarten and 1st grade that may preclude your daughter from attending kindergarten next year. For your child's sake, please talk to an administrator in your local public school.

Answer 2

I know I'll be in the minority here, but depending upon the family's flexibility, there are other choices besides public school. A parent who is willing to pay for an additional year of preschool may be able to pay for a private kindergarten, where she can receive better attention and a more nurturing environment, but still stay with her age mates. There are also co-operative schools, more like a small community of parents who school their children together, which would give her time to overcome her shyness, or even homeschooling, which is truly one-on-one. I agree with the other answer that stated if the child hasn't made progress in the past four months, she might need a change.

My son is just like this. He didn't have a speech issue, but he did have shyness and an aversion to group settings of any kind. I have let him stay home this year, even though he was age appropriate for K, and he has blossomed. We found a homeschool support group and participated in everything they offered, plus some county programs, and in time he found his "voice."

Good luck!

Answer 3

I would be concerned about the teacher's comment she has "plateaued" since December. If her skills have not improved since December and it is now April I would have concerns about her current placement. If she is not learning, then there is a problem. Your brother in law may ask for a re-evaluation from an independent source. If your niece has difficulty with speech and is having behavioral problems since she is shy and cries easily there may be more going on. I would encourage your niece's parents to talk to her pediatrician and have her evaluated by the local school district to see if she has the readiness skills for kindergarten or inquire about a transitional kindergarten.
Best Wishes and God Bless

Answer 4

I feel it is better to hold her back now that having her struggle later. He could also get her private speech therapy which is more helpful than what a school provides. In kindergarten kids really don't know about age, so her being 7 wouldn't be a problem.

Answer 5

I agrre, being held back later is worse. Her immatruity can make it difficult for her to succeed in school at all. There are pluses to being the oldest kid in class. For one thing-you get your driver's license earlier. Forcing her to go on is probably just setting her up for failure. I would only let her go on if she was given extra help on social skills and her speech, as well as help on coping skills.

Answer 6

I had the same problem with one of my ex-husbands daughters.He went ahead and told the teacher not to hold her back and they didn't.When she got to the 4th grade she was not ready.She was failing every subject and they put her back a year.It was really hard on her too.I wouldn't recommend that any parent go over what a teacher says.That's my thoughts on it.

Answer 7

Well I think shes should sdo as the teacher says as shes the expert. And your brother in law should under stand why would they tease someone for being older ? would he rather them tease her for not being propperly educated ??? maybe sit him down and tell him that she needs to be held back and it will be fine, I know many people who habve. hope every thing works out for you's. :)

Answer 8

Tell him to hold her back and if she manages to be really ahead when she does start, it is less damaging on her to be pushed ahead a grade than held back.