affairs the other woman?

Question

i have a friend who is having an affair with a married man, she is now pregnant with his child. he is now running scared, he is also in the military. she would like to get $ support dew to the pregnacy being hi rick she cant work. should she contact the wife or should she try taking legal action and what is the first step in legal action? i have no idea how to adives her. help!!!!

Answer 1

Simply tell her to retain a lawyer. The lawyer will or should help her through it, as long as he's being paid. LOL!

Good luck hun!

Answer 2

I wish she had though of contacting the wife before proceeding with having sex with him. This would have prevented the pregnancy.
Do not violate the wife any more than she already has. That is totally unfair and cheap and classless even more than sleeping with him knowing he is married!
What if he denies the baby? After all he will say that she has no scruples sleeping with a married man and he was not the only one servicing her? Besides her being pregnant means that the wife is even exposed to nay disease the husband may have gotten from her. These are things that should really be considered because who would dare have sympathy for the woman who has been having unprotected sex with her husband.
Why would your friend want a child with a married man?
What is the future for the child?
Know that this man is going ot hate her guts either way! That is how it is. I am not sure if there is anything that a non-wife can do because until the paternity test is done on a non married woman's child the assumption is that the fathers identify is up for grabs. Unless he admits to being the father prior to DNA, I am not sure what the recourse is. the best bet is to seek legal council in the state in which said incident happened and go from there.
I feel bad for the child!

Answer 3

Well, if she knows where he is stationed at and his name.. she can go onto the post and talk to military police. He will get into trouble for having an affair (against military law). As far as the baby being his, they would have to prove it with a DNA. Until that time, it would be just a he said she said situation.
Unfortunately, around this base, we have girls that run around and sleep with any and all soldiers, and far more often than not, get pregnant, which is sad. It is especially sad to see a married soldier partaking in extra activites with these girls, who usually know they are married, but the soldier gives an excuse like " were seperated" or " Were divorcing and seeing other people"... they lie!

Answer 4

She needs to talk to a lawyer. He could deny the kid is his. Then she is SOL until the baby is born and a paternity test is done. The problem would not be occurring if she had not been messing around with a married man. She deserves all of the pain and heartache this situation will bring her. What good would be done by contacting the wife. That will just get more people mad at her.

Answer 5

First, I would go to a lawyer. He will try to get out of it, bet money on that one. Going to the wife is a risky thing to do. Your friend messed up hanging with a married man, but if she is tough and doesn't let him "screw" her over, she can get the child support for the child. I am not sure about caring for her, unless he is just a nice guy. However, from his cheating, I'm willing to bet he is going to give her a hard time over this. The military will want a paternity test and if it proves to be his kid, they will make him pay support.

Answer 6

Guess that's what happens when you have an affair with a married man.Now it'll be another poor little child who suffers.
Do Not contact that man's wife.What good will it do but cause her pain too.She can't do anything about this situation anyway.
Tell her to get a lawyer and take steps from there.You're best to stay out of this too.Let her settle her own problem and not involve you.She got into this mess all by herself,so now she has to get out that way.

Answer 7

No, she should not advise the wife. Her lover and her need to sit down and discuss this situation calmly. Its his life too and while its too late to regret having the affair both the man and the woman are responsible for the child. It is up to the husband to tell his wife. It is also his responsibility to care for his child too. Hes in a bit of a mess I reckon. He has to stop running scared and both of them come up with a solution. If she has no intentions of terminating the pregnancy, then he has to deal. The unborn child is the most important person in this equation right now, and both these people have to put their fear aside to work out an acceptable solution. If she tells the wife then she is running the risk of getting this man off-side therefore, as much as the Law is behind the father paying child support....there are a lot of ways fathers get out of paying it. If this can be sorted out amicably, then it is in the child's best interests to do it this way. If she got pregnant on purpose to "trap" this man, then she has to be made to realise that there is an innocent life in all of this and her needs need to come second to whatever is in the best interests of her baby. She is the one with the life growing inside of her. She is the one who will have to raise the child single handedly. The father can walk away, and while he will be made to pay child support....she is the one who is choosing to give birth to the baby. Lots of maturity is needed by both the woman and the man. Running scared is not going to solve anything. He played a part in making her pregnant too, and even if she deliberately got pregnant in the hope that she could snatch this man up, he still could have used protection. Both of these people need to be responsible.

Answer 8

Contacting the wife is not going to accomplish anything in regards to support. What - does your friend think the wife is going to pay her husband's piece of the fluff on the side? Fat chance.
Your friend needs to consult a lawyer to find out what her legal rights and the legal rights of the baby are. Then she needs to consult a therapist to learn how to make better choices in the future. If she's going to be a mother soon, she'll need to give up being stupid.

Answer 9

what a sad situation - for the child most of all.

don't involve the wife, please. that is up to the husband.

your friend had the affair knowing he was married and telling the wife solves no purpose, is destructive, hurtful and spiteful. she accepted his position when she elected to have the affair and has to acknowledge that this has been just as much her fault as his. what good is ruining his marriage going to do? she'd only be causing a larger rift between herself and the father of her future child. i would tell her to back off and suck up her tendency toward vindictiveness.

i admit that he does owe the child support though.

try this instead:

contact the father and tell him that he needs to plan on making some provisions for the child, asking for some sort of legally scripted agreement.

if no agreement can be made and only after your friend has made her intentions to do so known, she can call the base info line and ask how to contact the father's commanding officer. contact the supervisor and explain the situation to him, asking for his help in securing child support. you'd be surprised how fast members of the armed forces can be prompted to 'jump to' upon the urging of their commanding officers and she better be ready to prove paternity when doing so.

so, so sad...... what evil webs we as individuals sometimes weave.

Answer 10

This is a vey sad situation, for everyone involved, but most for the unborn child who may never know the father. I would think if she wants t take legal action she should get a paternity test. She'll need to have a sample of the fathers DNA, which he'll have to give either willingly or via subpeona. Good luck to her.

Answer 11

She needs to try to call the father of the baby and tell him that she is high risk, and that she will need child support. This will force him to confess to his wife, which will cause a divorce, and if they have children, well they will lose a father. But this is what happens when when you play with fire. And depending on the laws in your/her state, the wife maybe able to sue your friend for alienation of affection, and seek to sue her financially.....does your friend what that?.....it is very possible. From now on your friend needs to stay away from those married men....because a POed wife is something to deal with. But it is not your friends place to tell the wife unless the guy will not talk or return calls from your friend.