My fiance has a 14 yr. old that he sees almost every other weekend. He has paid child support consistently.?

Question

The mother has always given him a hard time and constantly tries to find ways to verbally attack him and cause conflict. Tonight on the phone (during yet another verbal assault of what a horrible father he is) she stated that she can't wait for him to marry me so that she can get her child support increased. I make substantially more money than he does. She is remarried with two other children and she and her husband earn a substantial living. I'm wondering how I can protect myself and my income from her attempts to 'suck us dry' (as she puts it). I have no problem spending money on his daughter and doing all that I can for her....but I'm concerned that her mother will try to take advantage of my income if we get married. If she does this, this will substantially hurt our ability to start our lives together. How can I protect myself?

Answer 1

child support is based on the mother and father's income... not the step-mother or any other income.... so you really don't have a worry.

in fact, you can call the local child support agency or visit them, and they will give you the formula they use....

as for the ex wife and her mouth -- please don't react or respond to her insults and her confrontations... when you and your husband react or comment, you are giving her fuel to continue. if she acts out, let her know that you'll talk to her later, about the child, when she can be civil. say "goodbye" and hang up.... (or shut the door in her face, whatever the situation).

some people have a lot of nerve, don't they?

take care of YOU... all the best!!!

Answer 2

It varies from state to state actually some states will allow an increase in child support based upon the second spouses income. Especially if the current support paid is an "adujstment" based upon the father's ability to pay. If the adjudicated amount is say $400.00 a month and up until this point he could only afford say $250.00 a month then yes your income could be added to increase the payments to the adjudicated amount.

The fact that the ex wife's current husband makes considerably more doesn't enter into the equation at all. Your husband obviously has not signed over parental rights to him and he has obvioulsy not adopted the girl so he is under no obligation to support her even if she is living in his home. (although he probably does so simply from an ethical standpoint afterall she is his wife's daughter). But legally his income has nothing to do with anything, and neither does her mother's income. What has been set down by the court is what counts, and if it substantially hurts your ability to start your lives together that's just too bad. You married a man with baggage...You should have found out everything there was concerning his "baggage" before you married him.

Like I said it varies from state to state. This is something you'll probbly have to consult a lawyer about.

BTW child support doesn't ALWAYS end at age 18, depending on the way it was set up child support can last until the child is 23 as long as they are in school. My daughter's child support (she is now 21) was set up through New York state and they award child support through age 21 because in family law children are minors until age 21. And since she is a student HER child support wll not end unitl her 23rd birthday or until she is otherwise emancipated.

Answer 3

Support laws very from state to state, you need to go see an family law attorney and find out the truth. In my state, what the married partner makes isn't factored in, just what the parent does. The mother might not know what she is talking about.

On another note, be aware that she will be part of your life forever. She might even turn up the heat after you are married. Some women don't take to the father increasing their life style while they don't. It will not get better in the future and you nor him can't change her. When you are unhappy don't put him out on a limb and demand he do something. He can't even if he wanted to, and anything he does do will only make his life worse with the mother. If you don't like this idea, don't marry him. However if you do, you knew in advance and still signed the contract. You know what I mean?

Answer 4

She is just trying to scare you guys......but check with his lawyer to make sure.....But it is only him and his income that is responsible for child support. Now she can go back and ask for an increase in the child support, but they will only look at his income unless laws have changed. But I have never heard of a court making the step parent responsible for paying child support, and apparently that is what she is thinking. Now if you future husband had received any raises, since he began paying child support, and she asks for an increase, then more than likely she will get it, but a judge or person of the court will tell her she is nuts for thinking that she is going to get anything from you. Your husband needs to tell her that from now on, because of all the verbally abuse that he has had to endure from her...just warn her that he is going to record it all, this way there is a record of what she is saying. I still recommend him getting in touch with his divorce attorney and double check. This will be good info. for him to say back to her once he has the facts.

Answer 5

OK, from the standpoint of a single mother, which she is not, self perseverance is paramount. If your fiancee is a good father, I don't know what her problem is. Some people are just miserable. I don't know what state you are in, but in Illinois, if you have separate accounts, his money is not your money. I think it would be in your best interest to see a father's rights attorney. If he is not behind in child support, and abides by the visitation order, he is in good standing. In my state, every 3 years the custodial parents are eligible for a rate increase, depending on the father's INCOME...

Answer 6

Your income cannot be considered in her child support. Tell her to stick it in her a-s-s if she thinks otherwise. It's not about your household income. It's about his and hers, not even her husband's. It's calculated on what it would cost to raise a child in today's economy IF they were still together. They figure it based on his and her salary combined.

Let's say he makes $50k, and she makes $50k. That's $100k. If the state says it costs $30k per year to raise a child (food, clothes, & shelter - that's it), since they contribute equal amounts to the total income they each pay 50% of $30k. In this case that's $15k. Let's say he makes $60k and she $40k, then he pays 60% of $30k and she 40%. Does that make sense?

It doesn't matter if you make a million a year and live in a $5,000,000 house - it's his and her income only!! She's just being a c-u-n-t!!

Answer 7

What you and your fiance can do is make a court hearing about "locking in" the child support prior to getting married. Meet with your lawyers.

Word to the wise, record (with permission) of any phone or IM messages. (best to tell her to IM instead of call which makes it easier. So you don't have to legaly ask her permission to record her on the phone, so you have it in writting anyways). So you can show the judge it is mulipulation and harrassment.

I would also conduct your husband to stand up to himself and say "If we are not talking about our daughter, then we don't need to be talking" and hang up. Him allowing her to belittle him is letting her win. If she can not talk about anything important like she got hurt or her grades are slipping, then there should be no conversation what so ever. period.

My mom had to do that with my step dad and his ex wife who would take him to court all the time to increase child support. She was so devious that she made a deal with my step dad she would knock off child support if he gave her a bus (transformed into RV). He agreed and it was documented aggrement. You know what she did? she took him to court anyways and the judge said that child support can not be exchanged in personal materials. He had to back pay what he owed her and she also got the bus..... told lots of lies and then had the audacity to call my step dad crying how she has no money, her husband left her again etc etc.

Trust me, we lived hell too!

Answer 8

I strongly suggest that you see a lawyer in the state of residence...the cost is insignificant compared to a mistake you may be making. This woman will always be in your marriage. She is a looney toons, make no mistake about it. See a lawyer before you make any decisions as to what you are going to do. Love is fine, but diamonds are a girl's best friend. Make sure this biotch is not getting diamonds that you buy.

Answer 9

Child support depends on his weekly gross income, not yours or your and his, and on her gross weekly income, usually if it is over a certain amount (or compared annual incomes in some states). Talk to a local lawyer who does child support cases if you want to be sure. She's yanking his chain and yours. Stop making it work for her.

Answer 10

do a prenupthat you are not responsible for any child support payments. What state are you in? where i live its based on the fathers income only.