She didn't know about us and we didn't know about her - but now that he is here in Texas to save our marriage (tuff on me, let me tell ya!), she won't stop calling and texting. He says he feels sorry for her and doesn't want to hurt her but - it seems like I am hurting so she doesn't have to. She doesn't know he is home - she thinks he is staying with his daughter. This is sick and tearing me apart. We have been married 27 years - I don't want to just throw it away if he was just in a mid life crisis we might be able to work through. I love him.
2007-04-07 13:18:24 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You'll never be able to trust him again...give him up. You deserve better.
2007-04-07 13:21:48 · answer #1 · answered by lsah1852 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET A BACKBONE WOMAN.
This is bs he doesnt want to hurt her.
Why are you permitting him to treat you this way. I think you need to separate for a while and while he is gone, work on yourself. He will do what he does...he would have done it anyway. Lord knows noone can change a mans mind once he has decided to do something...that is where you are confused if you ask me.
I am not saying your marriage is over, bur what hope is there when he puts some other woman on the same level he does the woman he has a 27 year history with. Why he is doing it is secondary. If you dont demand respect for yourself...who will? Clearly not him.
2007-04-07 13:34:59 · answer #2 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bullshit, he doesnt wanna hurt HER, what about you and yur family.
no no no.
he doesnt deserve to be given another chance, he lied and deceived you.
plus she STILL doesnt know about you?? what is that?
why would you accept to live that kind of life?
i know its been a long time that you have been together, he should have had more respect and consideration for that reason,
and the whole mid-life crisis thing, thats just a lame exuse, so many people go thru that so then does it now make it ok for those people to go out and have affairs??
you should think about you and yur family becuz when he was over there doing his crap he wasnt thinking about you.
you should put yurself first.
2007-04-07 13:44:07 · answer #3 · answered by MsChuLa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds here, hav his cake nd eating it too. Way too much game playing here especially with the time you have invested into him. You will never trust him again to the point you used to have in your marriage. Guys like this dont ever deserve a wife or a family like you so time has come to move on. Sue him for divorce, and everything you are legally entitled to. You desrve better so move on to a better life. Good luck
2007-04-07 13:29:52 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get her number and tell her what is going on. If he was serious about you and the family he has with you he would have told her already and he would ask her to stop calling. If you are not strong enough to do that, you deserve exactly what you are feeling right now. You should not allow him to do that to you, therefore you are making it "tuff" on yourself. You are the one who can stop the pain. Be strong, woman!
2007-04-08 06:04:08 · answer #5 · answered by Diva Antoinette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I love him."
The excuse people use to do really really stupid things.
This man lied and cheated, not just on you but on another woman too. And he is STILL lying to her! He can't even man up to telling her the truth.
I'm sorry, but this guy is no good. You deserve better. You need to learn to believe that you deserve better.
It was him, not you, that threw away 27 years of marriage. You simply decided that you would not be treated that way.
the next time she calls I would tell her everything. She deserves to know. None of this is her fault. And its not yours.
You teach people how to treat you by what you will and will not allow in your life. As I said, you are better than this. So stop with the tired "but I love him" refrain and get on iwth your life!
2007-04-07 13:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by cyranothe2nd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you do about it is totally up to you. Obviously he is not an honest/truthful person since he hasn't told her that he is with his WIFE instead of telling her he is with his daughter. Obviously the fact that you've been married 27 years doesn't matter to him at all...or even the fact that you ARE married. He wouldn't be MY husband if I were in the same situation.
2007-04-08 00:41:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. If hes still excepting phone calls and text messages from her then hes not ready to let her go. Hes keeping her on the side in case you don't work out! And how selfish to say he's doing it not to hurt her, obviously he doesn't care if he hurts you by doing it. Hes playing the both of you, and you are the one who's going to wind up hurt. If hes honest and willing to let her go 100% and go to counseling with you, then yeah maybe theres something to salvage.
2007-04-07 13:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by liv3wire ~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ruff situation but, he is going to have to face the truth here- in order to save the marriage he must be truthful..If this is going to work you must be truthful with him about how your feeling, Either its over in CA OR ITS NOT. Time for him to face facts- get rid of CA then lets work on our marriage in Texas.
2007-04-07 16:01:02 · answer #9 · answered by sylviavnpttn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's in a mid life crisis alright. Wish my wife was like you. How could you trust him again or don't you worry about it?
2007-04-07 13:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to tell he to stop being a stalker. I think its still something going on. Why the heck she calling so much. Follow his a**. Hire a PI. then run his cheating a** over with your car.
2007-04-07 13:23:31 · answer #11 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋