Concerned and Confused?

Question

Let me make this quick. I am a 28 yr old male and I got married in Oct of 06. Things were great at the begining, I have a 5 yr old I brought into the marriage and my wife doesnt see eye to eye with her. She doesnt think I am supportive when it comes to discipline. But she is also 3 months pregnant and 2 weeks ago she kicked me out, giving reasons that I am too distant with her (starting my own business) i spend to much time working and I dont support her with my daughter like I should. At first when I move she said it was temporary, she needed time apart, I called her alot and now she she says it is over, for me to move on, she regreats getting married and all that. I have cried and poured my heart out and she doesnt care, she sad its not the pregnancy or her mom putting stuff in her head, its not wanting to be with me anymore. One day she will be fine and the next she hates me,, but over the last few days she has had her mind set that she can not stand me???? Im confused

Answer 1

This all sounds so tough...sorry! Well there could be many reasons for her change of heart and change of emotions. I guess my question would be do you want to try to save this relationship?

If so suggest couples therapy. It sounds like there is much going on in your situation that needs to be worked through.

Good luck!

Answer 2

It sounds Hormonal. How ever is there some one else in the picture that you know of? Could there be? Where is your 5 yr old now and could she of been play parent against parent? Is she right you didn't give her enough support? Did you under mind her authority with your child? Or is it she just isn't read for an instant family? Being pregnant she has time to get used to the idea of being a mother she isn't just thrust into it with an already talking 5 yr old with her own ideas and thoughts. That can be very hard on a first time mother! I know I didn't help you much but these might be things you didn't think about and might need too.

Answer 3

Sounds like pregnancy hormones have taken over her life and she has no idea what to do. Also sounds like a bit of jealousy between her and your daughter. Also it sounds like mother in law doesnt like you and is inputting into your wife to get rid of you. Alot of problems at the wrong time and are adding up against you. Try and be patient til after the baby is born and see what happens then. Just give her space and tell her youre there when and if she needs you and leave it at that. Stop all the dramatics like crying your heart out as her mom will use that against you and make you appear as a wimp or something. Now is not the time for displaying over- emotions and be a man. The dramatics wont help solve anything anyway and dont give your mil any ammo to use against you. She probably loves tearing you apart so dont help her. Chalk her emotions up to the pregnancy , realize what youre dealing with here and just be patient. Good luck

Answer 4

She's pregnanat and very emotional wether she'd like to admitt it or not, you have t be as patient as you can and try to committ yourself (all of you) to this relationship, remember you have another child on the way, you cant let go this easily no matter what she says, its the pregnancy talking, if you were to move on with your life she may change her mind (which she probably will) she'll be even angrier thinking that you deserted her. Be persistant and you shall see eye to eye hopefully sooner rather than later, she's probabaly told herself that your own daughter will never be seen i the same light as the child you already have.. maybe its jealousy because she can see how devoted you are to your little girl, if you put in the same amount of effort with her as you do with your daughter things will change. Its weird but pregnant woman are there own worst enemy at times and they dont know it until your gone.

Answer 5

Wow! Being in the state that she is in I don't know if it's hormones or what?? I would suggest that the two of you see a therapist. Maybe this can help ease the tension of the new marriage, the baby on the way, the daughter that you have and all that is new to the both of you....try it and if it still isn't working then you both can say that you at least tried different methods!

Answer 6

i am the one that asked the question,, i have questioned her love for me over the last 2 weeks and asked her why she didnt talk about this before she kicked me out and she said she didnt want to, yes the 5 yr old tries to play me against my wife, she is a daddys girl,, i know i did somethings wrong and i have realized that family is number 1 and i need to focus on that but she wont give me the shot, she says its over,, in fact i asked her if after i get settled into my new place, starting next month can we try like a date night, just me and her, see if we can get back to the point we were at before and she said she was not making any guarantees, but she would see, the next day she sent me a nasty email saying no way, if she wanted to go on dates with me she wouldnt have kicked me out and i cant accept getting a divorce, and to not call her anymore,, i am just very confused about all this,, if someone has any insight and can help will you write me on yahoo IM glifl2 thanks

Answer 7

You must really love her to be pouring out your heart like this. I do believe it is the pregnancy, even though she may mot want to admit [I really hope so]. I would give her the space that she seems to be requiring now, but keep in touch so that she knows how much you care for and love her. Do not come on too forceful. Allow her to believe she is having her way.

Answer 8

Maybe the baby isn't yours and she's letting you go so you guys won't be arguing about it. Women are known nowdays to carry a child by some other man this is the new generation you know?

Answer 9

sorry you're going through this.

she is probably VERY hormonal right now, and it won't matter what you say or do -- pregnancies can cause hormone overload and all sorts of emotions to flow.

i guess you need to give her some more time.... she may never change her mind, and she might really want to move on.

the best advice i have is to take care of YOU and your child right now... i hope it works out for you when it's all said and done... please take care.

Answer 10

Could just be the hormones talking. Give her time to get her head on straight. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants at this point.