ok, i have been with this guy for 4 years.
Recently, we have been having problems for the past month and it's gotten so bad that we broke up cuz of some hurtful things that have been said.
He's said that right now, with everything in his life, he just can't deal with having problems with me.
He's scared to get back w/ me b/c he doesn't want to get hurt anymore and his "what if it happen's again in the future?"
Now he just wants to be friends. Half of him wants to stay, the other half wants to leave.
We are friends with feelings, he still loves me, and says that as friends, maybe in the future, maybe we can work it out.
I dont know how to deal with this, a part of me is holding onto him. I dont know how to be friends w/ someone that i have feelings for. But he made it clear that just b/c he chose to walk away, it doesn't mean that it's forever. He still wants to hang out, be there for each other like before minus g/f b/f status.
I'm having so much trouble dealing. pls help.
2007-04-07 12:27:46 · 7 answers · asked by appleflo21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's right... although you may both love each other, you do not appear to have what it takes for a successful relationship together at this time in your lives.
It sounds like you both need to work on your individual growth and maturity before trying to settle down with someone.
2007-04-07 12:31:05 · answer #1 · answered by HearKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you have to go through this... it's hard especially after 4 years. You need to step back and give him space. One thing I've learned about guys is that if you get all over them and beg them etc. they lose respect for you and feel chased and RUN.
I so believe in that statement about letting it go if it's yours it'll come back ... so tell him it's a good idea for you two to take a break. That those were hurtful words said and you don't want a repeat of that either - that you'll BOTH date other people and go on with your lives but do NOT NOT NOT keep the friendship ... it's too easy to just keep going back for the sex - and that you don't want okkk ... it has to be on your terms - you'll become a doormat - keep your self respect and end the friendship.
2007-04-07 12:37:16 · answer #2 · answered by expat g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could be friends and take it easy and stay close. You too should go somewhere for the day alone and talk everything out. He should not be afraid to be hurt again since what does not kill you makes you stronger so that same issue should not affect you two unless you let it. When two people are angry they say things they do not mean so apologize to each other and see if some time apart will bring you back together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder; I hope that it brings you two back together. We have two ears, two eyes, even two nostrils but only one mouth so we can repeat only half of what we hear, talk to each other but listen as well. Hope this helps
2007-04-07 12:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were in a physical relationship with this man four years, going back to being friends is not going to work for you. He sounds like he is trying to hold on to you until he can find something better and then he will feel safer to move on away from you for good. Do not wait for him to do that. You have broken up as a couple, so move on. Put him out of your mind and out of your life. The longer you try to hold on, the more being around him as a "so-called, friend" is going to hurt you. Time is too short to waste on someone who is undecided after 4 years.
2007-04-07 12:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a very hard thing to deal, it will hurt for awhile just remember that the only thing that yoiu can do is be strong and move on. There are other fish in the sea or try to work it out. If that doesn't work then just move on. Take it one step at a time.
2007-04-07 12:33:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there done that but cant exactly put into words. but i will try.
Maybe he has got some troubles and he does not want to include you in them at the moment. He has got a point but you can change the future by being there when he needs a shoulder to cry on or wants someone to talk to. if he loves you that bad he will be back , it takes time , just be there for him thats all you can do for the time being. hope that helps .T
2007-04-07 12:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
forget him Hes a wuss
2007-04-07 12:30:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋