Why is it that some people have a difficult time letting go of the past?

Question

Why is it that some people have a difficult time letting go of the past?

Why doesn't the "letting go" part come easily. Are all people like that? Sometimes it's so strong that it prevents you from doing your daily tasks. It leads to anxiety, depression....What causes this?

Answer 1

The past is who we were. Everyone longs for an identity. No one wants to be just another "face in the crowd". The past gives us a sense of who we were.

However, the past is never the present. Who we "were" is not who we "are". "Letting go of the past" to some people means "accepting that the past was in vain". Most people dont want to accept that their past was in vain. So they cling to it.

Nevertheless, some people are ready to destroy their past. They dont want to be associated with the person they once were. This transformation is required for one person to fully accept the present and deny the past. The past is history. The past is never relived again.

Once people are given a new identity, of which they can accept with more confidence, they let go of the past and cling to the present. If the identity is truly their own, they will never let go of it.

This "who we were" and "who we are" all revolves around the concept of Identity. The only thing a man has is his name. Once that is ruined, what else can a man identify himself with? Once his identity is destroyed, his past is destroyed, and he has nothing of which to cling to with the present.

Answer 2

I think it is because we are brought up to believe that the universe is 'fair'. If you are a good person then good things should happen to you etc
We therefore feel aggrieved about slights in the past and keep revisiting them over and over again - replaying out how things 'should' have been.

The trick is to catch our minds doing that and recognise that we are dragging the pain from the past into the present which, if we just let it go, might actually be pleasant.

It is not a sign of weakness or illness but an inability to control the mind and that can be remedied.

Answer 3

well for some people including me. Using things from the past that they dwell on and remember bad times of their own life they see they never want to go down that path again and use it to keep from doing it because they know what will happen.

There are things you can't forget about ever either. If we was supposed to forget the past, why do we have history class? Answer: to learn from our mistakes.

anxiety and depression can be caused by a number of things it doesn't always depend on the past.

Answer 4

Because the past offers you the advantage of capturing a clearer perspective of what you went through. Even if the past is rich in sad events and bad memories, you may feel tempted to wish to go back to the good old days because seen from the present what you endured gain meaning and significance. Compared to the past, the present is just as uncertain as the future.

Answer 5

I have noticed and wondered the same thing--especially on here. On here, I think they are alone and trying to think of the biggest event in their life to ask a question about.
Real life--time is a great healer but, I know, it does not seem to work on a lot of people. No, all people are not like that. Maybe it is a weakness in their make-up. Don't know. I also think keeping busy helps. Maybe there is no "one" answer or maybe there are many reasons.
Good question. Thank you.

Answer 6

Yepp in certain situations that's in simple terms so not basic to no longer imagine of the previous once you be conscious how easily the lives of others would properly be, and once you seem back at yours it in simple terms appears like you're a finished failure at life. The blunders you're making in simple terms stay as painful as ever.

Answer 7

Some people think "letting go of the past" means forgiving and forgetting.
I may forgive, but I don't forget. Remember the old saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Answer 8

weak character causes this.

A person becomes more strong as he gets more exposed to suffering.

Sometimes, it doesn't take more exposure to make one stronger in dealing with predicaments or letting go of them. It just takes strong coping mechanism which dictates the use of reason over situation.

Answer 9

The past is known and the future is unknown. People like to feel secure and it is easier for some people to hold onto what they know making them feel secure then to accept the unknown.

Answer 10

This is a form of fear that implants false beliefs which then govern and lead to idleness and lack of hope for the future.