how do you feel about this?

Question

ok, i think a lot of people don't exactly get my question. when women get sexual attention from guys, they take it differently depending on who it's from. i'm not talking about stalking or constant firting or sexual harassment. i'm just talking about if a guy just shows interest in you, not in a sexually explicit way. for most women, if they are walking in the street and a group of construction workers is checking them out, they will be creeped out and annoyed. but if they're at the movie theater and a group of cute high school boys is checking them out, they are flattered and they love it. even though they're not really interested in either, how come they have double standards? why is it perfectly ok for some guys to show their interest in women and not for others? do you think this is fair?

i'm asking this in the women's studies section, because it's about women. please give me a helpful answer.

and i am aware that guys are more interested in certain women who flirt with them, but they are not offended when some women flirt with them just because of the way they look.

BY THE WAY TELL ME YOUR AGE. if you are in high school you SHOULD be bothered by older guys hitting on oyu, because you're stil a kid. so this is mostly for older women.

ok, for women to think unnattractive guys who hit on them are jerks, but not feel the same way about attractive guys who hit on them is not fair, is it?

and also, grown women aren't(or at least shouldn't be) attracted to high school boys. so it probably isn't about attraction.

Cassius I just went over this. even though i'd be more attracted to the more attractive one, i would not be creeped out or annoyed by the unattractive one. and that's not all, most women aren't attracted to high school boys. for some odd reason, they're just not offended when they hit on them.

Answer 1

I think it depends on if they feel threatened by whoever is hitting on them. Construction workers can sometimes be crude when they hit on women, where as a group of high school boys would just be more subtle.

Answer 2

As far as high school kids are concerned, they are probably viewed by older women as harmless. And also, they'll probably "hit on" (or at least look at) an older woman if they find her attractive.

As for construction workers, they often whistle at anything that walk by them. Honestly. It's just something they do together, as a group, they probably think it's fun. No harm in that, but I'm not going to answer them.

Have you ever seen a peacock trying to outdo other males? Well, it's exactly the same with men and women! Men and women will choose who they are attracted to. So, if you don't know the person, you're only going to answer if you're attracted to that person. Not fair? LOL! Of course it's not. That being said, it's true that some women respond a bit haughtily. I personally just ignore everybody.

That being said, there are exceptions. I NEVER answer to people who talk to me, but a couple of nights ago, I found myself answering to a guy while I was waiting at the bus stop in the evening. I dont know why, can't remember what he was saying, maybe it was his voice. It turned out he wasn't bad looking, but I hadn't seen his face when I answered. Not a beauty, but not bad. So, you see, some guys just know how to talk to women! I was pleasantly surprised because he was very nice and funny. Almost took his phone number, but my bus arrived at that moment.

Answer 3

You like what you like. What was the question? And how does fair have anything to do with picking a mate? You respond to potential and interest.

Construction workers will whistle at anyone, ask my 80 year old mother! Highschool boys will only WOOOO after what they think is attractive. And if a 16 year old boy WOOOHOOO's at me, I know I still have it!

OK-you said something about unattractive guys, but you are generalizing construction workers. It really has nothing to do with their looks, but their station in life. Look at Donald Trump. He is butt ugly, but very attractive. And it's not all about money. He has charisma.

And who said older women should not be attracted to high school guys? My three boyfriends are all still in high school. Just ask my husband.

Answer 4

First of all, I'm 35 and if high school boys were checking me out, I'd probably puke. But let's get to your question.

The difference is not in how the men look, it's in the circumstances. If I'm walking by a construction site, chances are, I'm alone. In a movie theater, chances are I'm with someone or a group of people.

In the constuction site scenario, I feel threatened (although I'm not necessarily being threatened) and vulnerable because a group of men are checking me out and one may get a little froggy. There may be strangers around me but how am I to know that one of them would step up if I got in trouble?

In the movie theater scenario, I'm not alone and if one of the guys decides to get touchy feely, I have people I know with me to help me or get help if I need it.

Answer 5

Just because YOU are a guy that wouldn't feel icky at being flirted with by a woman you feel is unattractive doesn't mean that ALL guys are just like that. I've known guys that displayed the same behavior you are asking about women displaying. Get over it, it doesn't mean that all women are evil hags(just like my statement about some of the guys I knew that acted that way doesn't mean that all guys are evil jack@sses).

Anyways, the woman walking down the street is probably creeped out because she isn't expecting that kind of attention, while a woman that is out at the movies or a club isn't creeped out because she is expecting that kind of attention.

Answer 6

Age:26. Yes, it is a double standard. but if a guy that works on a construction site says hey to me I assume he does that everyday but if a goroup of guys are admiring me you tend to think they are only out for that night and are just trying to look at pretty women but they don't do it every day. Even though you never know, that's why you can't assume.
My take is you can't pre-judge if you are feeling a person and what they approach you with ...go with it until they turn you off or show you something you don't like! good luck!

Answer 7

...I think women would be flattered no matter what.

We constantly see women irritated by howls from construction workers on television because those workers are older guys, not "attractive" and probably married... not to mention they typically show these workers as fat, bald men that in the standard eye are not attractive. Not many women want old, ugly guys that hit on them.

Plus, along with what media feeds us, remember that whole womens rights type thing? Women don't want to be seen as sex objects? (Yea, right, I know... look what half of us wear.) Sometimes we just don't want to be hit on.

I think it has something to do with what the woman is attracted to, though. I personally would be slightly flattered if a bunch of "jocks" paid me a bit of attention, but at the same time disgusted because in my mind they only want one thing. (That's just my perception of "jocks" based on my experience with knowing them.)

Does any of that make sense?

Answer 8

I see your point, and it is a good question. To tell you the truth, it is probably a little flattering to any woman when ANY person shows interest, they just won't admit that. It happens to me every great once in a while, and I usually just smile, which is what I would do to anyone who was being friendly. It's the easiest way to show them that you recognize their attention, without leading them on. Just a friendly smile, then move on.

Answer 9

Your question is akin to beating a dead horse. You are obsessed and this is not healthy. Why not move this whole inquiry over to singles and dating. I think that everyone is getting tired of this same old same old same old , we answer and you ask again and again.
show your interest and don't be crushed when they don't respond to you. If they do they voila you have a conquest. I am sure you will be find and I am just glad that I don't have to go through that high school nonsense anymore. I am far to impatient for that silliness.

Answer 10

How a man expresses interest in me has way more to do with my reaction than what he looks like. I have never enjoyed having a group of men (or boys) flirt with me. It feels cheap and demeaning, like they are collectively rating me. No thank you. When an individual man compliments me, I am able to take his compliment seriously, and I may well be flattered by it.

Although in my case I will tell him in 2 seconds flat that I am married and not interested!