Overbearing husband?

Question

I have been married for about ten years now and have never messed around on my husband. I don't drive and live in a rural community. Yet he continues to check my email and phone. I am a professional with a college degree so I am allowed that outlet. I don't have a drivers license due to past issues with depression so I am wondering how to get out of this rut? Makes me very angry that he doesn't trust me or is it his insecurities?

Answer 1

Anyone who "accuses" or believes someone else is untrustworthy is untrustworthy themselves. Just like anyone who accuses others of lying all the time, is usually a liar themselves. You know the saying "it takes one to know one?".

You probably need to get help with your depression problems, find some good friends, and get a driver's license. Seek marriage counseling with a pastor or professional. I wouldn't state that your husband is "overbearing", more like borderline abusive.

You need some freedom, and you need friendships, and you need to get out more. If you "can't" get a driver's license, then get some friends who are willing to take you out: Shopping, coffee, lunch, movies, anything that's fun for girls to do together.

You sound like an intelligent individual. I think you already know the answers. Maybe you should also consider installing some spyware on your computer to track where HE'S going on-line?

Good luck!

Some places on-line to check out for sound marriage advice:

Answer 2

First talk to your husband and find out whats really going on. Most times people who act the way your husband is acting are covering up something they may have done. He may also feel insecure about himself and just need a little sweet talk to feel good again. Second talk to your doctor about your depression because in most cases it can be helped with mediation and/or lifestyle change. You are an adult and should be treated like one if you love your husband let him know and remind him that you chose him over all others.

Answer 3

You have got to have TRUST. Sounds like he has some real insecurity issues. Has he been cheated on in the past?

You need to get a dirvers' license and get out of the house a little more. Staying cooped up isn't good for anyone.

Answer 4

figure out what is causing the depression .. is it the way your being treated... i too had a overbearing husband.. i was allowed to work.. but i could go no where in town with out him.. he had to a prove of the way i dressed.. and who i talk to.. and it better not be men.. not even family member..depression hit me in the form of pretending to be some one else and somewhere else also talking to people in my head .. i got a divorce and it took a year and a half for the voices to stop.. now i know where my depression came from..i did not have to worry about him checking my email because i was not allowed to have the Internet.. as for a good job.. i was not allowed to go to school.. so my job when i left was factory work and still is

Answer 5

I don't understand something. You're seeing a "medical team," and your husband is insisting you see your General Practitioner who, for some strange reason, you don't want to see. Why not? In any event, if he's verbally abusive and nasty, I would probably think about getting out of the marriage, especially if you don't have children (hopefully, he's not abusive to them too). At least go to a marriage counselor together.

Answer 6

Probably a lot of your problems are caused by this marriage. You might be better off getting over it or at least allowing yourself a chance to get away. Usually when people cheat they will act like your the one cheating. Cause they get paranoid.

Answer 7

much like my husband he has issues.......deep and big ones sounds like my hubby threaten by my profession and degrees why i dont no they should be happy for us and encourage us rather than acuse us through this behavoir, both of us had a run with depression mines stemed from my husband big time i'm done with that now....i no that my husband is not going to help me get my license due to a futher threat to him i'll be mobile with out him....free to cruise the highway to clear my head and handel things for myself and us........we have to do this for ourselevs no matter what it takes......we are still human the difference is we are married 1 LIBERATE YOURSELF OBTAIN YOUR LICENSE and yes abuse is the word my husband started off midl like yours the end up being physical and a heck of alot more verbal which many times made no since at all if i took the time to listen....i tell you this i love him but if he decide to walk out and leave .....life will go on over time i might just relocate and change the names of the innocent hahaha but on a serious note these controll freaks subpress that inner demon for as long as they can then we begin to see them through actions and words.....support groups are out there find one to help empower you and help,,,pastor or cousel from a real couselor......get help.....the truth is i no what i have to do to obtain peace and i think you do to hay we got a lot of living to do so lets enjoy life it's your choice!

Answer 8

Things are going to stay the same until you do something different. Try getting your drivers license.

Answer 9

Excessively conrolling behaviour is one of the first signs of a potential abuser. Get your husband into therapy now, and if he refuses, get out of the marriage before the abuse turns physical.

Answer 10

Very much insecurities on his part, But one wonders, why he is checking up on you, when really the question should be, that you should be the one checking up on him. If he is doing this to you, why not check up on him. No body needs to be treated this way.