I accused my wife of being a flirt for years. She has always denied it but has just recently admitted that maybe I'm right. There is a thin line between socializing and flirting. How can she distinguish the difference and show me that she wants to make a change.
2007-04-07 09:30:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Who said she needed to change? Should she change just because you want her to?
2007-04-07 09:34:43 · answer #1 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
socializing is flirting, if it is not business and the people that you are socializing with are people that you don't already know. People use words and twist them around to make things sound harmless or for you to perceive things the way they you want you to. That is why it is best to know both sides of the story, anyway... people that flirt are looking for something. The fact that she admitted to you being right may just mean she wants attention and nothing else so I wouldn't consider her a cheater. Because normally I consider flirting, cheating! And now that her flirting after all theese years is finally getting you shaken up a bit..u know that lil incident, moving on.... this actually means that you should be willing to take the necessary precautions to give her all the attention she needs and in doing so I am sure she will not be as big of a flirt or in fact a flirt at all.
And something else I want to just throw in here because you are looking for her to show you that she wants to make a change...maybe that is a part of who she is and maybe that is just one of her personality traits...I don't know, you have dealt with it for a long time now. But I do know is that when you try and pressure a person to change people only rebel...its human nature and you end up stressing yourself out and in turn changing yourself. The best way to go about this is to be an example by giving your wife what she needs so she can give you what you want and change your situation by adapting to it!
2007-04-07 17:17:16 · answer #2 · answered by soul child 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a question which needs to be answered not only to address your issue of her flirting but also an issue which has not been addressed. If this is a level of communication which your wife regularly practiced with others and obviously a form of communication which attracted you in the first place is it an appropriate response from you to demand she change it? I would suggest the both of you sitting down together with two or three different versions of dictionary's and together go on a hunt for the true meaning or definition of the word flirt. Start with the word flirt itself...make sure you both have a clear and matching understanding of the meaning of flirt...then take a focus word in the dictionaries definition of flirt and look it up, define it, come to a mutual understanding and again do the same.....by the time this exersise is done you will find that the both of you will have come to an understanding of not only what flirting is, but what it isnt. As men and women are very different in their responses to flirtation of the opposite sex directed towards them this will allow for an understanding between both partners why it might bother the man when his wife flirts and why the woman might think what she is doing is in consequential. With an effort on both parties of this relationship towards communication on this particular issue you might realize a reasonable accomodation or compromise if you will and the wife shall be able to maintain some of that personality which most likely attracted her husband in the first place and the husband might see both a more considered flirtation and possibly a dimminishment of the flirtation to a more managable level. The wife might understand that most men who are the target of her flirtations carry with them a subconcious belief that these flirts are nothing less than an invitation extended for sex and the man might realize that it really does not matter what another man thinks the flirt is but what the woman intended it to be and that he should trust in his wife to know by another mans response to those flirts when it should be either toned down or turned off.
2007-04-07 16:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by poeticmaster69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flirting is a natural part of socializing even though it bothers the hell out me and most others. If you both agree that its out of hand and should be changed than you need to have an understanding that she is seeking attention and needs to know that it doesn't take flirting to do this.
2007-04-07 16:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let's see you can flirt but just verbal is that bad too? no touching involved and if she's doing this in front of you yeah can be alittle hurtfull but she needs to just reasure you that she's being just that friendly like we all are in this world no strings attacted to the other persons needs or wants physically or emotionally. we all can councel one another in this world is that ok? comeon. She just wants to know she's still excepted in this world as a person and a lady with a mind nothing wrong with that is there? or is this a powerplay game?guys do the same thing is just whos good at it or getting away with it. hmm just so long as she doesn't allow herself to cross that line ok.
2007-04-07 16:37:56 · answer #5 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words. She needs to show you by acting, not making false promises. She needs to knock it off and quit being a flirt. She should be flirting with you and you only. How trashy. I would be sooo pissed.
2007-04-07 17:00:47 · answer #6 · answered by SillierKimmie! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is there is flirting and HARMLESS flirting. loads and loads of married women flirt it makes them feel good and happy. its just a bit of fun. but if she wants to change to make you happy thats fair enough. ask her to tone her mood down, dont be so touchy feely or high voiced. ask her to act mellow. but it aint a hugh deal really, you shouldnt feel threatend by it. its harmless and gives women a boost.
2007-04-07 16:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by Leanne1988 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May just be her nature or habit that she does not realize until later. She has to know that she is doing wrong before she can change.
2007-04-07 16:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Cory, this is your wife. Her personality is nothing new. That's probably what drew you to her. I bet she's a fun person to be around. As long as she is faithful let it go. We are who we are. I don't think it's up to her to do anything.
2007-04-07 16:36:11 · answer #9 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flirting is fine, looking but not touching. As long as she's not actually hooking up with other men, there shouldn't be a problem.
2007-04-07 16:34:01 · answer #10 · answered by spottychan 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋