Why does hubby not get it??

Question

Currently i am living with my hubby in texas (not my idea we moved for his job in insurance)but i have a degree in marine biology that i cant use really here and i hate it here!Hubby said it was temporary but now says it perminent. I am working as a secretary at the moment bored out of my mind!He does not get why i am so mad!?I was offered a job as a seal trainer at a zoo in tri-state area also studying the seals and i want to take the job.Considering a divorce at moment.
Read last post if you want the reason.

Why is it no matter how i explain he does not get it?

Answer 1

Marriage is a partnership. There will always be give and take. Sometimes the equity isn't agreeable though. You have to consider what is best for you. It is not to sound selfish, but he shouldn't get to make all the decisions "and that is just the way it is". A marriage is about compromise. It isn't fair for you to have to compromise when he doesn't. Getting a divorce isn't necessarily always the best answer, but keep it in mind.

Answer 2

You need to grow up. Your husband is trying to provide for you and you are sitting here b*tching about how you can't have your way and that you want to work with seals. You need to start being considerate of his feelings as well. Who cares about your degree?
If your degree and your career are more important to you than your own husband, then you need to do this man a favor and divorce him so he can find someone that loves him unconditionally, no matter where you live, and what you do for a living. Find a different job if you're so dang bored.
I cannot believe you are considering a divorce because you can't have your way. Quit treating him like crap, and realize that he is trying to provide you two with a better life. You made the choice to move to Texas with him, and there was a change of plans and now you are going to be there permanently. Big deal.
It's so sad that you are picking your career over him. Get a divorce so he can find a decent girl that cares about him instead of being with a selfish, inconsiderate wife that only gives a crap about herself and her needs.

Answer 3

I had the same problem 2 years ago, and I will tell you what I did, we were living in Arizona and I have an associate degree in accounting I could not fine a good paying job in my town. One day an old friend called and said, she needed help someone that that could be her personal assistant for at least 3 months for a millionaire that she was working for, but it was a temporary job in Las Vegas, Nevada. I spoke to my husband, and told him I was taking it I did not work this hard to get this degree to stay home or just to do clerical work for eight dollars an hour I was worth a lot more so I took the job. I was there for four months, and it with worth it I made good money, and because of that experience, I was able to land a good paying job in my town. My advice to you is to take the job and let the chips fall where they may.

Answer 4

Your hubby could simply be old school, and does not really understand that you want a fulfilling career. But it seems to me that he can work in insurance anywhere.

The other thing I gotta ask though is "do you really want a divorce over a career?"

Having gone back and read your previous question I gotta change my question. Why the hell did you two get married in the first place? I'm sorry, but you seem to have nothing in common. He is seriously old fashioned and expects you to conform to his ideal vision of a wife. And it sounds like you really don't want to do that. Furthermore, he has started to impede your personal freedoms.

If your description of your relationship is accurate, then leave. Leave now. Pretend it's all about the career and go. Don't divorce him immediately, just tell him that you want to do this and that he can find work where you're going if he wants to go with you.

Either he'll freak and want a divorce because you have defied him, or he may recognize that you really want this and bend a bit.

I wish you well, and good luck.

Answer 5

He puts priority on his career before yours. Maybe he makes more. Maybe he feel slike he is the "man", maybe he feels his job is more important. Either way, you have a choice to make. If you decided you were going, you were taking this job, would he suck it up and follow you? Or would he say, fine, Im stayin'? That dosent sound like a partnership at all. You decide if he gives you what you need despite this. Is he faithful, otherwise kind and loving? Or would the career bring more satisfaction? We dont know this, only you do.

Answer 6

He gets it, it is just that he feels his job is more important than yours, or the job you want. He is one of those guys who thinks the world revolves around his likes and dislikes. He may say he understands your point of view, but he doesn't really. What you want has no bearing on what he wants. Leave him and do what you want is my advice. As an insurance agent he can pretty much get a job anywhere, but your specialty is only in certain locations. If he refuses to see your point, the only thing left is divorce so that you can do what your heart tells you is what is best. For you and for him, if he ever gets of his high horse.

Answer 7

Because he wants it all on his terms not both of your terms!
you need to inform husband what you need from marriage as well as yourself and tell him, this is how it's is and if you get no input then your looking to divorce, and have a better future elswere!
Also tell him in no uncertain terms he will never making anything decision without your impute again!

Answer 8

ok this is the truth. he doesn't want you to have the better job. you can get a job in insurance any where. tell you are going to take the seal trainer job does he want to go with you?

Answer 9

Because men are idiots. He'll get it when you separate.

If he can't consider your needs or feelings, you need to decide what you want. It's easier to leave if there are no kids, so think on it, and try a separation if he still doesn't get it.


Good luck.

Answer 10

hmmm

if you look good and dont smoke or drink then i think you should marry me. lol. congradulations on your degree.

are you high maintenance?

maybe your hubby is fustrated with you more than you know.

maybe he is cheating on you and he dont want to leave the other woman.

i find it hard to believe you cant find that kind of work in texas. why dont you move south more and find work on the ocean and see your hubby on weekends?

do you have kids? then ask what the kids want. spend more time with kids.

if you moved away from your family that can be a huge mistake.
he only chooses to see what he wants to and you cant change him or that.
maybe you have wronged him and he is hurt and dont care if you leave as in he might have a resentment.

have you been self absorbed with your carrear?

have you gotten him gifts?
have you been good and frequent in bed?
have you prayed about it?

trust me he gets it all right. he just is happy where hes at and your not.

consider this at the moment

put aside what you want and put aside what he wants and just be still just be quiet. just sit in a chiar and say father im ready to listen and allow god to talk to your spirit.

what does god want you to do?
are you following gods rules or your own.
is your realtionship a good godly god fearing realtionship?
God said iam no part of this world. not of nothing.

and i know you love animals. but realize this. the differance between animals and humans. and the reason why man has reign over animals ... is because when god created animals he spoke the into exsitsance and they lived. but when he created man he not only spoke them into exsistance he breathed the very breath of life into mankind.his breath thus this is why we are and were creadted in his own image. we are a part of him. we are a part of his image. wow soo you want to train some seals?
I WANTED TO BE A SEAL....................I GAVE UP THAT AND MADE A SACRIFICE TO MARRY MY WIFE THEN TURNED AROUND AND CHANGE MY US NAVY CARREAR 3 TIMES AND THEN AFTER 5 YEARS GOT KICKED OUT BECAUSE OF STAYING WITH MY WIFE AND I WENT TO JAIL FOR 4 MONTHS.
Sounds to me like 1 i would of been fine in SEALS. and 2 like your cry baby. At least he works right and you work? my wife dont work. you knew there wasnt work for you there. right? did you have it in your hand before moving? nope.
i did SEAL training on my own for 1 entire yr. 12 months prior to enlistment. I sleept 2 to 5 hours a night and roller bladed 30 miles a week and worked out at least once a day at golds gym. mean while working 2 jobs the whole time. i lost my grandma my mother in law and my best friend and my sister all in the last 5 yrs got married had 2 kids jail kicked out of navy mom on crack wife has no siblings dad been dead. was living out of my car. was living in trailer with no heat in winter in VA no bathroom. peed in cups. thru it out door.dad had heart attack. grandpa died. uncle died. kids taken away.

you need to really just look for what god wants and do what he says.i went from being on top of the world to being the worst most horriable person all by being with my wife and she cheated on me 2 wice. wow . cant you just submit your self to the covanent you made. its your fault girl and now you want to run from it. well just move to the tristate area and visit once a month. get your own place.
and what the hell is a hubby? is it a husband? or a teddy bear. come on get serious. grow up some. go back to school and get a buisness degree. your bored as a secertary ? do you know how many people dont and cant even get a job? alot. why do you think people are coming here from mexico? duh? look you know what you need to do you just got on here to have a poor me sesion? divorce him or go to church but stop wineing.all this paragraph is about is me me me. what does he do? is the sex good? you cant have everything in life sometimes you only get somethings perfect.

get off of any and all mind and mood altering substances and clear your thoughts and think think think and find out who you really want to be and what you want to do. listen to deliha.
your in a rut and your only looking at the bad. stop it and make the best out of it first. then if you cant do it then move or what ever. Maybe your man is a dumb jerk and takes you for granted and should just move , if thats the case im sorry to hear it.
what would your creator do? the inventor and the author of life.
i said the inventor! and your a scientist?
your trying to figure out what god created. if he wanted you to know he would of told you. im glad you care but wheres god really at in this picture.its something i have to look at everyday. i wish my wife would quit smoking i hate it soo much. im basically just like you . looking for something better or hoping she gets better and all i can do is pray.