maybe not the same part for everyone, but some part must die. whether is indepentant you, or your hopes and dreams, etc....... why is that?
2007-04-07 08:44:29 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
in theory, i guess your bad parts die as you meld with your partner or whatever....but the more i talk to people, the more it seems like very important parts of people must die. how is that good?
2007-04-07 08:45:45 · update #1
I know what you are talking about, and unfortunately you are right, some people might call it compromise but I am with you. you have to kill part of you to be able to make marriage work.
2007-04-07 08:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If part of you has to die then that isn't a good marriage because you are no longer the same person your spoue married. I don't think any part of me has died due to my marriage. I think more along the lines that my desires have changed. For instance, I used to go out all the time before I got married. I'd go to clubs, bars, and things like that. Now, I don't want to do that as much. Not because that part of me is dead but I'd rather go with out with my wife. I still do things with my friends so it's not like I spend 24/7 with her. So, you can have a successful marriage without part of you dying. Just keep looking for the right person.
2007-04-07 20:02:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one could put it better. you are so right. We do sacrifice ourselves or a part of ourselves to marriage. When we say WE are now one,some of our parts have to be left out;it's like putting a Honda and a Toyota together.and hoping everything fits. We are born emancipated, though we are saddled with social obligations.,marriage being the most restrictive,but hell,we fall for someone and commit.Just living together is a a *****.
Take a whole , damn, can't think of the word,ok, chunk, of meat and keep cutting.. Soon, there is nothing left.
2007-04-07 22:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because in order to keep the relationship you think you want, you have to avoid conflict with the other person. So, you suppress what you don't think they will accept to avoid them leaving you and you having to *shudder* start another relationship.
It's also because the expectation is that this one relationship is all that you need and should be your only source for intimate emotional, physical, and sexual contact. So, whatever you feel you need or want that this one person can't provide has to be ignored, compensated for, or somehow met outside the accepted relationship.
For women, it's even worse because, unless they have a way to support themselves on their own, the only choice they really have on their own is whether to be with guy #1, guy #2 etc.
2007-04-07 16:04:09 · answer #4 · answered by Deathbunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't die, you grow and change together. It's supposed to be a beautiful thing. Something that you cherish for the rest of your life. Call me old fashion but I believe in only getting married once. They are supposed to be your best friend. You want to protect them, be there for them, grow old together. In my opinion, you should be willing to die for them. people don't get marriage any more. You'll be lucky to find people in the Nintendo generation and younger that will be married for 20 years or more once we are older. And you don't die. You just simply change. Most of the time you wont even realize it until you are older. If you are to worried about changing yourself then you should even be thinking about or be married. A successful marriage takes work, compromise, commitment, communication, scarifies, and a whole lot more. If you can't do that... well... you'll figure it out.
2007-04-07 15:58:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's doesn't die what marriage doe's however is make you understand that you have a partner, and must be willing to adjust your life to there needs as well!
2007-04-07 15:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You perceive it as "dying"...I don't. I actually became a better person because of my husband and I think I could say the same for him.I think that's why we had so many tough times through the years(20 together,13 married)and made it through them.
2007-04-07 15:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by mrs O 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it HAS to. People do some strange things when they feel they HAVE to and a lot of it is related to the inability to communicate their needs propertly.
2007-04-07 15:48:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree because part of me has been lifted
since I have been married and having been for
over 20yrs I am still alive and well thank you.
2007-04-07 21:25:55 · answer #9 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋