how do you cope with something that hasn't happened...a fear?
2007-04-07 08:16:36 · 11 answers · asked by S 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
what if it's not unreasonable, an actual possibility?
2007-04-07 08:24:33 · update #1
Hi:))
My experience from losing both parents and a couple of friends, and dealing with things like loss of financial security, is that the thoughts/fears of losing someone or something is far worse than the actual loss itself.....
...it can very challenging and stressful dealing with this mind, and how it spins & imagines something that is not actually happening yet....dealing with that is like fighting with shadows...these fear shadows have substance and can be felt, but they're not quite real....
....with shadows I find it's best to bring light in...this light is the power to see what is happening now and inquire "What can I deal with this very minute? Is the thing I'm fearing happening right now this minute? Is this someone or something still here?"
This kind of getting present won't stop the fearful chain of loss thoughts, but it does help bring a clarity to the situation. This dealing with what is in front of us is a precious gift for ourselves and for those around us....it's love in action.....it's loving what is here while it's still here with us. It's giving your presence to the situation...and your presence is a true blessing.
Let the mind spin it's thoughts as it does, but if and when possible, open to this love that is beyond all imaginings.
♥
2007-04-07 15:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by .. 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Those kind of thoughts can be pretty bad. I know because I have them about my mother and other family members all the time.
But I think actually losing them would be far worse, because then I'd be dealing with a reality instead of a mere possibility.
Someone dying is so final and there would be nothing I could do to change it. However, I CAN control my thoughts, and as long as they haven't come true, things are still ok.
2007-04-07 11:38:55 · answer #2 · answered by Miss.Understanding 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since I was fourteen years old I was afraid of my father dying,because,well his dad died in his fifties,and so I thought mine would as well.Also my father smoked like a chimney,and was a bit of a partier,so I was always worried.I spent everyday of my life worried about my dad dying,to some degree,I just lost him last April,he was 78.I wish that I had gone to hospice before hand and or had some grief counseling,because I truly have had the worst year of my life trying to cope with this loss.So no the thought that tormented me for years was and is nothing compared to the loss,I truly know now what it is to be broken hearted.I lost my father,but I also lost my buddy,and my best friend.He was a wonderful man and his memory is with me everyday and the lessons he taught me and the joy that he brought me I will treasure him in my mind and heart forever(.So on your question what if it is not unreasonable and a possibility?Get yourself into Grief counseling now and or some kind of hospice.....please do that for yourself).
2007-04-07 08:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by FYIIM1KO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fear from before feels worse than the hurt experienced after losing someone. The hurt lasted longer in my case, but felt more progressive and satisfying in a weird way.
2007-04-07 14:01:38 · answer #4 · answered by Janne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would someone spend time fearing the loss of something or someone when it is inevitable, i mean its only a matter of time before you loose or it looses you, i think the fear of loosing something or someone is alot worse then actually loosing it because it takes away the pleasure in what time u have with it.
2007-04-07 11:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by j_alh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called a phobia if it is unreasonable or obsessive. It can take over your life and make you totally miserable when all that WILL MOST LIKELY occur is a minor inconvience. You have to put the fear into perspective.
2007-04-07 08:23:19 · answer #6 · answered by Sophist 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe so because we can imagine any possiblities and none of these imaginary situation may come true. Where as the actual loss only hurts once and it is over.
2007-04-07 08:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by MoPleasure4U 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear is much worse than pain. Fear prevents life from happening.
2007-04-07 08:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by Goldmund 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear is the mother of morality, so I guess you make a moral law to deal with it....LOL
How about...Thou shall not fear......LOL
Courage is knowing what not to fear.
Sapere aude!
2007-04-07 08:26:43 · answer #9 · answered by Alex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Things are never as bad as they were when imagined.
2007-04-07 08:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋