I am 26 years old I have a daughter who is 4 we have been living alone for the past 3 years.. I have had 4 really great boyfriends since that time others here and there but anyways I always get so excited in the beginning of my relationships that feeling that he may be the one then as a few months go by I don't even want to be around them and hardly talk to them like I push them away. my friends all say just settle because I do want to get married and have more kids and I'm getting to that age where it needs to happen. I don't know what I'm looking for or if what I am looking for will ever be found. currently I have a boyfriend been together 4 months maybe 5 and I'm getting the feeling again that I don't like him he's great to me and my daughter and hasn't done anything wrong.. I don't want to hurt him like I have all the others but I just don't want to be around anymore.. whats wrong with me why can't I just find a guy that I can spend my life with all the others were wonderful too.
2007-04-07 07:34:30 · 10 answers · asked by kiahleigh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
"I always get so excited in the beginning of my relationships, feeling that he may be the one, then as a few months go by..."
Don't you think that's common? Don't we all go into relationships optimistic, ready for adventure? Then, we often become more disillusioned as time goes on, because we're getting to know the person better, maybe finding out that they aren't all we thought, or hoped.
"What's wrong with me why can't I just find a guy that I can spend my life with...?"
You'll have to answer that question yourself. Either:
(a) You're too picky, or
(b) You're not ready for commitment, or
(c) You're not discerning enough at the beginning of these relationships
But no one here will be able to tell you which of these possibilities apply to you...
2007-04-07 07:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by JR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem that you have not dealt with the hurt from the first one (Daughters Father?). at first you are all happy, but then as time goes on, a little thought springs fourth that they may hurt you the same way you were hurt before. You then, in an effort not to be hurt, will find a way to get rid of them before they can hurt you. Its a defensive mechanism that we all have. You must remind yourself that we all get hurt in a relationship, no matter what. Its part of growing up in a relationship. When you start feeling that you do not want him around, try sitting down and talking to them about it. you may find that the answer to whaat is causing you to feel this way.
2007-04-07 07:54:31 · answer #2 · answered by michaelaorr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is work. And it's work that both people have to do. It sounds like you get excited by the romance of first crush, then, as it starts to fade, you don't know how to sustain a relationship.
It's not that you can't find the right guy. It's that you don't know how to handle a mature relationship - a relationship with a real human being. All of us have good and bad points. We can all be interesting and dull at different times.
It would be unfair of you to start any serious relationship with any man before you talk to a counselor about these issues and start to develop the skills necessary for a sustained, happy relationship.
2007-04-07 07:42:59 · answer #3 · answered by Biff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's too a lot of twist of destiny now to not answer. i replaced into having this proper verbal change with some acquaintances very last nighttime. before each and everything the first 3-6 months is the "infatuation era". oftentimes at 6 months you commence to truly study about someone because they positioned their protect down. oftentimes at present you'll commence to %. up on their conduct and verbal change style no matter if pleasant or demanding. it will be that you have not discovered the right individual or it will be that you're literally not accepting of peoples organic flaws. once you're in any respect religious or religious you'll know that each and each and everyone adult men (& women human beings) are flawed a less than excellent. study the thanks to embrass your companions flaws and characteristic some relaxing with it. I really have also considered this challenge upward thrust up with a number of my acquaintances "who're woman" even as they positioned to a lot emphasis on the destiny contained in the starting up of the courting. the first 3-6 months they enhance expectancies and need for the destiny without needing relaxing contained in the present time. Are you via in probability a Gemini? in simple terms curious.
2016-11-27 01:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to your friends first of all. You clearly know in your heart what you want, right? Maybe you are trying to hard to find the perfect guy. Afterall you are 26. Love usually finds you when you are not looking. That sounds crazy but I think it just might be true. I am 28 and am looking for that special woman. It's a tough go isn't it.
2007-04-07 07:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i get the feeling that you believe deep down that no one will be good enough for you and your child. you are pushing them away cause you are afraid that in the end they will hurt you and you want to stop it before it happens. just take a step back andlook at the guy. if he is as great as you say then i would just enjoy the time you have with him and see where it goes
2007-04-07 07:41:34 · answer #6 · answered by wlfbelcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like u have been hurt before, and once it gets to a certin time you think " let me end it, before i get hurt "
ur sceard to get to close. yeah in the begining you like him, cuz in the begining of a relationship everyone is excited, but once u feel like ur getting confortable u start to push away.
just think alittle, and stick it out. face ur fear. if hes a good man why let him go. he can be the last good guy u meet. ( there hard to find)
ask yourself....
does he make u happy?
does he care about you and ur kid?
can u be yourself around him??
can u fall in love with him?
can you see ur self married with him??
think about it.
i hope i helped...
2007-04-07 07:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by JUSMI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg, u really gotta chill. dont worry! look, u just gotta be patient and hope for the best. one day u'll find the most perfect guy in the world and live ur whole life with him. there's a million guys in the world who r single. u just gotta wait till the special one of them all walks up to u. u'll no when u find the guy. u'll feel like u'll want to propose on him! i no it sounds weird. dont worry, just keep doing what ur doing. ur bound to find a match within' like the next year!
2007-04-07 07:42:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious you've been hurt in a relationship. You have a wall up and you're afraid to let down your guard.
2007-04-07 07:47:11 · answer #9 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have some sort of dream man in your head . one that no man can be. at first you think imagine this is him . then you see enough of the man to know he is a real man not the one you imagined. i think you need to get rid of the super man in your mind first then date.
2007-04-07 07:41:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋