He is the type that doesn't care, and can dish it out, but can't take it. And please no smart answers like I probably am, I need serious answers only.
2007-04-07 06:38:55 · 18 answers · asked by mutt 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Although many people have heard sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt us, those who have suffered from verbal abuse know that words do hurt and can be as damaging as physical blows are to the body. The scars from verbal assaults can last for years. They are psychological scars that leave people unsure of themselves, unable to recognize their true value, their talents and sometimes unable to adapt to life’s many challenges.
Except for name-calling many people don't recognize verbal abuse—especially when it comes from a person they believe loves them.
The circumstances under which verbal abuse takes place make a real difference in how to respond to it.
The key to healing is to recognize verbal abuse for what it is and to begin to take apropriate steps to stop it and bring upon healing.
Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name- calling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, even something that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is even more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control her without her knowing.
Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling.
Verbal abuse is insidious.
Verbal abuse is unpredictable.
Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may begin with put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other forms might surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse may escalate into physical abuse, starting with "accidental" shoves, pushes, and bumps.
I would recommend that you seek help from a pastor or counselor. But I would also recommend that you gather men and women of God together who can lovingly confront the person who is verbally abusing you. Their goal should be to break through his denial and lovingly restore him with a spirit of gentleness. If this should fail to help your spouse see the wrongs of his ways then I regrettably must advise that you turn around and leave this person immediately!
Life is way to short to have to tolerate this abuse and you my friend are in my prayers.
"Good-Luck"
2007-04-07 07:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by Chaz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing how long you two have been together is still no reason to be insulted by your husband,Marriage counselor is fine if you really want to save the relationship if not then providing there isn`t any violence involved I would think you need perhaps a break to see whether he could cope on his own for a couple of weeks,take a holiday or stay with some friends if on returning that doesn`t work then I fear the only other course of action would be to go your separate ways amicable.Good Luck.
2007-04-07 07:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by edison 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Haha now THAT is ignorant and stupid. How can you dish out insults and not take em? That is an arrogant fool. Confront him about it, ask him "Why is it that you are so smart at dishin it out but when the insults hurl at you, you cower?" That is just not very Man like. Well...a lot of guys do that and some women too, but it is really rude to do that ESPECIALLY to a spouse!!! Confront and see if he changes, if not threaten to break up due to your shattered feelings. :P Enjoy!
2007-04-07 07:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by xxx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cry. Let him catch you crying and then pretend like you don't want to talk about it cause it doesn't matter. Maybe reverse physcology (excuse the spelling) will work on him. Seriously try it for a little while. OR you can put on some make up, look as hot as you can and then say that you're going out on the town without him and don't come home. Maybe he will appreciate you more if he thinks there is a chance of losing you. If all else fails, you're better off without someone like that to rain on your parade. Find someone that will make you happy.
2007-04-07 06:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by crystalc419 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well you could talk to him about the way it make you feel when he does things like that. or if he reall doesnt care and continues to put you down all the time your best bet is to get out while you can. i stayed with someone like that for 2 yrs and it only gets worse. its up to you but no women needs to be with a guy that puts them down it only weights on the womens self-esteem and that is never good either. you have opions talk or walk
2007-04-07 07:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by shannon_shea2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a very cruel man.
I would first confront him and tell him how much he hurts you and how badly he makes you feel. If that doesn't help see if he will go to counseling with you. As a very last resort divorce. You don't want to spend the rest of your life miserable do you?
Good luck in whatever you decide.
2007-04-07 06:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by BhitchyPrincess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He could be a product of his environment Mine was. The best thing you could do is try, and talk to him about BOTH of you getting therapy. The counselor may want to see you individually after a couple of sessions(your significant other may not agree to this), if he does YOU keep going. It's refreshing to see that you believe that your worthy of being treated better, and you deserve dignity! Good Luck!
2007-04-07 18:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by Pixie48 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think you should change your name from Mutt to something more positive. Then I would go to counseling for yourself. Even jokingly you should not be calling people those names and making insulting remakes. Take care of yourself, then lose him or seperate until he realizes he cant treat you like a mutt.
2007-04-07 06:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by lovehateleavestay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the first thing I'd ask you is "Are you OK with it?"
If you ask total strangers to give you their opinions, it's probably because you know it's not healthy to live like that.
Yet if you are willing to keep being mistreated like that, it's your choice. It's your marriage and you know him better.
Just so you know, I think respect is basic in a marriage. And if you and your spouse do not trust and respect each other, you have nothing.
2007-04-07 06:48:21 · answer #9 · answered by Nena S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Remember this.........
He's a simple mind making a feeble attempt of expressing himself.
He's a control freak attempting to break down your self-esteem by calling you names. He probably learned this from his parents.
Tell him to stop it and that it is no longer tolerated. If he can't communicate with you like you are a human being, then he can find somewhere else to stay.
It's not your job to raise a grown man.
2007-04-07 06:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by Ella 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋