I let a friend of mine stay at my house last night in our guest room after a night out partying. My husband has been out of town for a long time. My friend came into my room and started to cuddle with me and then he kissed me. I started kissing him back. I stopped it before it went to far but I feel so horrible. I just do not know what to do! Do I tell my husband? Do I spare his feelings being it did not go far? Please help me! I know this is such a horrible thing to do to him. I love him with all of my heart and I really have no idea why I started kissing my friend back. I had been drinking but I do not use that as an excuse. I did stop him. What is the best thing to do?
2007-04-07 06:29:23 · 24 answers · asked by Submissive 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No MakinMe nothing went passed the kiss. This is the Internet and no one knows me why would I lie? That is all that happened and I stopped it before it could escalate to anything more. This is exactly what happened and the reason why I let my friend stay is because he is just that a friend and he lives 30 miles out of town and there was no way he could get there. We have been friends for a long time and he has stayed at the house before while my husband has been away. Nothing ever happened because we are just that friends and nothing more.
2007-04-07 06:40:34 · update #1
Well you didn't cheat.... that would require intercourse. He did a little kissing and a little coupling and then realize this is definitely going in the wrong direction. You've already made yourself feel horrible... and you're punishing yourself.
Sounds like you both had a little too much to drink and while I understand you're not using that as an excuse it certainly helped loosen your more protective self.
I would not bring this up to your husband. It's too innocent like two teenagers in the front seat of a car. It's not worth in getting jealous and then not trusting you for years to come.... it's way too heavy a price to pay. Protect yourself and protect your family by burying this one
If you feel you must punish yourself for your action and to feel some sort of relief. Then do not do it in words. Go to your husband say you've been thinking about a be doing something kinky with him. If he's ever mentioned anything and you have said no then use this... if not then when you get him worked up sexually and before having sex ask him to tell you a fantasy I would like to do with you that he is never told you.... don't let them get out of it. Whatever it is do it at your best and give back to him often. Very big deal and let him take it out of you in a different way.
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2007-04-07 07:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should tell him. What has happened has happened and there is nothing you can do about it now. It was only a kiss and nothing more. You were drinking and going to sleep when you were intruded on by your so called friend. He should have never done that. That was disrespectful. There is a line that you do not cross. He stepped way over it. This will just hurt your husband and your marriage. Start new. Become a better wife. Do all kinds of special things for him. Make a promise to yourself that this was a mistake that will NOT be repeated again and now you will completely devote your life to this man you love. Maybe you should not party anymore. Make this your life long punishment. No more parties unless the hubby is with you. No more friends over when hubby is away. Good Luck with the rest of your marriage!
2007-04-07 10:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have two options.
1) Keep it a secret and run the chance of your husband finding out. But if you choose this option, your husband won't believe that you stopped it. He will assumed that since you lied about the affair (by not telling him) then you will lie to try to make it seem like nothing happened.
2) Tell your husband what happened. Tell him that you were drinking and that you didn't want your friend driving drunk. Tell him that you put your friend in the guest room and that he came into your room. Tell him that you kissed him but then you stopped because you love your husband too much to hurt him. This option will be very hard because your husband will get very mad and he willbe hurt. But, you are being truthful to him and you aren't hiding things.
Whatever option y ou choose look at the good and the bad. Hopefully you and your husband are able to communicate openly and honestly. That helps a lot.
Good luck!
2007-04-07 06:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gee, it was only a kiss. You are feeling guilty and probably confused. While you dont blame the alcohol, alcohol does make us do things we normally wouldnt do. Alcohol fogs the brain whereby we do not think logically. Whoever says that alcohol brings out the "real" person does not understand what alcohol does to a person's brain. You have to stop feeling guilty and you have to stop trying to understand it. He was probably under the influence as well and could be regretting the kiss. He could also be thankful that you stopped it before it went any further.
The bottom line.......alcohol does make us do things we normally wouldnt do and that is the only explanation you have to give yourself. You were still "with it" enough to stop him, therefore, as far as I am concerned you loved your husband enough to know that you didnt want to go further with this other guy. The only reason I would tell my husband about the kiss would be if I thought his friend will gloat about it. If that is the case, then tell your husband first. If his friend is as embarrassed as you about the kiss then he will say nothing.
Just put it down to experience and dont put yourself in a position for it to happen again. Stop beating yourself up over it. You had enough sense to stop it before it started....therefore, as far as I am concerned, you used good judgement and good self control. Dont allow one silly mistake to ruin your marriage......it really was only a kiss....a kiss while under the influence of alcohol....so it doesnt count. You love your husband and your intentions were made perfectly clear by not continuing any further.
2007-04-07 06:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good job stopping it, you have more self respect than alot of other people in that situation. Also way to go holding on to your morals and values when put to the test. You sound like a wonderful wife and a great person. I would not tell your husband what happened. Even if he trust you it's easy to jump to conclusions. Like: "oh, you were kissing another man in our bed and nothing happened"!!!
2007-04-07 06:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say just let your friend know that he was wrong and so were you for letting it even get that far as far as cuddling. You respect the friendship that you two share together and that's as far as it will go. Also, you shouldn't have men staying at the home, friends or not, especially when you husband isn't there. Yes, I think you should be honest with her husband and also to yourself. For one an honest true friend wouldn't cross you like that nor would they disrespect your marriage.
2007-04-07 06:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by result now 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your hubby after a night of drinking you let a male friend of yours stay at your house and well we kissed nothing more
and it will never happen again. It is best to be honest because keeping secrets bottled up will just build up more and more until they explode and well the sooner the better.
2007-04-07 06:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For once this time I would say "What the eye don`t see, the heart won`t grieve" but make it absolutely clear to your so called friend that, Never, Ever Again can he stay over,No matter what & hope your husband doesn`t see this on the internet.
2007-04-07 07:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by edison 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What ever it is you choose to do, remember two things: 1 You have to be true to yourself. If you love your husband as much as you say you do, you already know what it is you have to do. 2 Which ever side you pick (to tell or not to tell) stay on that side. If you tell the truth - continue with the truth. If you choose to keep it from him, continue in that direction - although that is MUCH more work, and drama. Good luck.
2007-04-07 06:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by swilson_lewis 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if I believe nothing went past kissing. Anyhow, why would you even let him stay there and your husband's gone? Sounds to me like you wanted something to happen! No, you can't blame this one on the alcohol. It was all you, sweetie. I'm not sure where you should go with this one. If you tell him, he'll be so hurt and pissed. If you don't, it will eat you alive. You do what you feel is best. But, in the future, no more slumber parties, ok?
2007-04-07 06:35:23 · answer #10 · answered by MaknMeCrzy 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋