my 21 year old son drinks way to much beer, Now he is in jail for giving beer to minors, Im not working due to a accident and dont have insurance but, he needs help where can I get the help he needs without paying for it? Im not going to bail him out of jail this time ,if he would only understand how much drinking has cost him I think he would quit but he just dont seem to get it
2007-04-07 05:53:10 · 15 answers · asked by gary c just let it play out if u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Time for tough love. Hopefully, it's not too late.
You have enough to deal with on your own, he needs to find his own way -- do not bail him out and do not help support him when he gets out unless he stays clean and sober.
Even if you were a millionaire, all the help in the world won't do any good until he wants it for himself.
2007-04-07 05:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 21 year old son who is in Portage New Brunwick for drug addictions. I have gone threw hell and back and he was a big drinker. He has been in there five months now and I am hoping this is the anwer. He has been in and out of hospital for addictions but in the end he asked for help. I was at the end. I threw him out several times and ended up taking him back. This didnt help him. If your son continues to do this then give him the option. If you want to drink then you are going to have to find another place to do it. You dont have to put up with it and its not your fault. If he's not ready to see he's problems then you have to do the tuff love. It will be messy at first but he will come around. Trust me.
2007-04-07 12:59:35 · answer #2 · answered by jeannie f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You raised him as best you could and he has made his bed the way he has and now it is time for you to let him learn for his mistakes. Sometimes things like this will make a person grow-up. He'll think next time before he doe's something dumb like this. Don't bail him out he deserves to get what hand he is dealt. Maybe he will realize that it is time he starts acting like a adult rather then a stupid kid.
God Bless and I praise you for not bailing out your son!
2007-04-07 12:59:08 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not from america but if u need legal help dont lawyers get provided 2 u by the state. You can try and hire a interventionalist to try and make him see his ways and to chek in 2 rehab but at the end its his life and even if u want 2 u cant force him.
2007-04-07 12:58:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stand your ground about not bailing him out.
If he has to do jail time, he'll dry out, and hopefully learn his lesson. In my state, if you're caught with DUI, you are forced to go through an alcohol-education class, let's hope your son has to do it too.
2007-04-07 12:58:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stage an intervention. Have his friends and relatives tell him how they feel about his drinking. Maybe you can get someone from AA to attend and talk to him. Stop helping and enabling him in the meantime.
2007-04-07 12:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is a grown man now. Let him in jail and figure out what he is going to do. He did it to himself. It is his life and it's not your problem. You have enough to worry about.
2007-04-07 12:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by operationspiritlift 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you. You have fine ally come to your senses. Now let him allow a state appointed attorney represent him. He's old enough to drink. Get in trouble.He will need to get him self out of it.
2007-04-07 13:16:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an adult and responsible for his actions. Don't bail him out, don't give him money - all that enables his problems. Don't feel guilty, either, he is making his own choices.
2007-04-07 14:12:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He don't GET IT 'cuz YOU don't!
You keep RESCUING HIM! YOU are the reason he is still drinking!
Want him to quit? Try TOUGH LOVE! Tell him what to do and if he don't like it ... TOUGH!
He made his choice, but I think you are feeling guilty FOR HIM. So, what's up?
2007-04-10 02:11:01 · answer #10 · answered by ravin_lunatic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋