I am married and my best friend Amanda has been living with me the past couple of months. We have been friends for about 15 years and I thought I was helping her out by letting her stay here. The thing is, she can't keep a job and refuses to work on getting her G.E.D, stating she is "not ready." I have no problem letting her stay here as long as she does something. She doesn't help with bills (obviously), but I don't really care about that. I just pretty much figured that she will be living her forever considering she can't get a decent job to save up money to move out. I don't want her here anymore but don't know what to do, b/c she doesn't have a good relationship with either parent. Anyone have any advice on how to get her out of my house?!
2007-04-07 04:48:03 · 13 answers · asked by Y!A P0int5 Wh0r3 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You aren't her caretaker. Make it clear that you care about her but your place was an emergency haven, not a permanent home.
She could keep a job if she wanted to...so "can't" isn't an excuse. She has no reason to do anything as long as others allow her to sponge off of them...and THAT isn't doing her any favors.
Tough love baby...tell her she needs to get a job and some independence...give her a date to move out and stick with it...it's up to her to figure out how and where. She's not your responsibility, she's HER responsibility.
2007-04-07 04:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if your married, the only thing to do is you an d your husband get together with her and tell her she needs to get out of your house as soon as possible. Explain to her that you have helped her for a long time and she doesn't seem to plan on moving out. SO tell her or just give her a couple of weeks for her to move and make sure you do it when the time limit is out. But she will be mad because she will say that you not a good friend throwing her out in the street with nothing. But hey you have help her alot and all she has done is taken advantage of your friendship. And it's time to hit the bricks. AND also becarefull because if she not doing it already she might just be mooching with someone else, too. SO give her the boot now.
2007-04-07 05:01:30 · answer #2 · answered by John S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend won't do that to you. She is just using you in order to live for free, and this in no means how a friend should be. She doesn't seem considerate or thoughtful because she does not help you in chores, doesn't pay the bills, and doesn't even try to be at least independent instead of living on other's money. It's really bothering, and she is used to it. Her family did not provide for her obviously for a reason, why do you have to? Just because you two are friends? Stay friends with someone who appreciates friendship rather than someone who uses it for his/her own good.
I think you should tell her that she have one more month to live with you, and she has to earn her money and find another place to live in. Make sure that she understands the deadline is a serious issue. If she doesn't meet it, throw her out of the house.
2007-04-07 04:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by peachy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to sit down and give her a deadline for things. Explain your responsiblities and need for your own life. The longer you let her hang around the worse it will be- maybe there is good reason why her parents don't get along with her? Deadline for job, deadline for GED if in your home. The rent $$ matter because its a way to get her to be responsible- Give her 3-6 months and then tell her you can't help her except with friendship. You,me and Dupree?(movie)
2007-04-07 04:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh guy. I even have been in this situation. it is so puzzling to say no to friends distinctly once you are the only beginning the social gathering and distinctly while alcohol is in touch. here is what i could do. rather of a spontaneous social gathering, plan something in improve. Say, "permit's social gathering this Friday night, yet i'm warning you, i'm paying costs this week so i'm in common terms going to discover the money for for my very own beverages." See what she says. If she has improve notice, possibly she will financially plan for the night out. If she exhibits up with none money, jokingly say, "lady, how can you have any relaxing ingesting water?" do not supply in. If she pouts and complains, tell her to circulate abode and get money from expensive candy mommy. here is my concern. I had a chum in basic terms like this. She strengthen into working finished time, living at abode hire loose, mom assisting her out with costs, and so on. because it seems, she had a drug issue it is why she on no account had any money. It took me a protracted time to parent it out. i strengthen into so naive.
2016-10-02 07:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by benisek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, be honest with her and tell her that your sorry but she has to move, and tell her you have your own bills and family to take care of. and you are having a hard time, give her a date in which she will have to find another place to live. and don't feel quilty in kicking her out. she has to learn responsibility and as long as you and your husband is letting her stay there and supporting her, she will never get ahead in life. she figures why should she get a job and hold on to it. when she has you and your husband supporting her.
2007-04-07 04:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were really a good friend she wouldn't put you in this position. I've had this same thing happen. Frankly you are just going to have to tell her to get the hell out! It will probably ruin your friendship, but hasn't already been ruined by her mooching?
2007-04-07 04:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by Paul 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight that she needs to get a job and that she could be living a better life then she is now if she gets a job
2007-04-07 05:45:15 · answer #8 · answered by yelloh_ayezeen(: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you are not her parents and you dont have to raise her, shes a big girl. Obviously she is using your friendship to sponge of you and to me that is not considered a friend. Even if you end up falling out the ball is in your court.
2007-04-07 04:52:10 · answer #9 · answered by jeannie f 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
quit catering to your friend..you can help but you arent obligated. you and your fam comes first.
she will get over it. i had to do the same thing.
tell her shes gotta do something! ask her short-term goals/plans. she's GOTTA get a job and move on. you have a family (they are your top priority..you cant raise your friend too), but you will be there for her as a support system.
hope this helps! just be loving when you say it. but firm.
2007-04-07 04:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by Queenly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋