Jaffa cakes are not a good source of vitamin C
Ladies - keep your original name when you marry - it considerably simplifies things when you divorce
Don't waste time cleaning your shoes. Smear them with polish and then use the brushes at the sides of escalators to buff them up to a good shine.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.
Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.
Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.
2007-04-07 04:46:11 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Motorists. enjoy the freedom of cycling by removing your windscreen, sticking half a melon skin on you head, then jumping red lights and driving the wrong way up one way streets.
Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron fillings.
Convince neighbours that you have invented a 'SHRINKING' device by ruffling your hair, wearing a white laboratory coats and parking a JCB digger outside your house for a few days. Then dim and flicker the lights in your house during the night and replace the JCB unseen, with a Tonka toy of the same description. Watch their faces in the morning!
Have all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from going back to sleep.
2007-04-07 04:46:59 · update #1
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
Give comics that 'Pulp Fiction' feel by reading the last frames of cartoons first, then reading the rest in a random order.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic.
Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
A next-door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.
Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up th
2007-04-07 04:47:45 · update #2
the aisle.
Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying it in the first place
Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.
Anorexics, when your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.
Make bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
2007-04-07 04:48:52 · update #3
I don't know what I'd do without you!! x
2007-04-07 04:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying it in the first place...I like this one..if only it was that simple lol!!!
2007-04-07 04:50:34 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
recreate the thrill of a flight (as super man or wonder woman) by leaping of the stage and braking your ankle .... you might nead to work on your landings
2007-04-07 05:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by Michael D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are flashed by a speed camera - speed up and dont slow down. Get your moneys worth !
2007-04-07 04:54:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are you getting these`wonderful` tips from? I can`t think how I have managed to live so long without all this information !
2007-04-07 04:53:00 · answer #5 · answered by Social Science Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am trying the alarm clock one on my husband. LOL!! That is great. Keep them coming.
2007-04-07 04:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by *♥♫Hedy♫♥* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes,good tips.
2007-04-07 05:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by Mo Cridhe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol! i like the one about the shoes, stay cool.
2007-04-07 04:55:46 · answer #8 · answered by Zi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Emma, I thought I'd heard 'em all until I read your list. Thanks for a good laugh - I certainly needed one. Hope to see more from you.
2007-04-07 04:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by Dolores & the prune 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol,liked the last tip.
2007-04-07 04:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loved them all again. Hey, at least you're creative.
http://www.coolstuffclickhere.com/pages2/funthings.htm
2007-04-07 06:54:54 · answer #11 · answered by Bri 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋