serious relation ship?

Question

about 4 years ago i had met my hubby we had only had 1 date we werent in a serious relationship at that point we had just met and i had slept with someone else i had spent the past 3 and a half years trying to tell him but when every i try he seems to cut me off and i get side tracked VERY easily anyways we got married june 2006 recently i finally just broke down one day and blurted it out that i had slept with this guy a long time ago i hate hiding things from my hubby were always very honest with each other now he does not trust me and im not aloud to call or even see this guy (this guy has been one of my closest friends for ever we were very intoxicated ) my hubby gets very angry when i even mention this guy i do regret what i did but i wasnt even going out with my hubby then i just felt he should know what should i do i want to keep my friend and my hubby serious answers only please

Answer 1

Do you look for drama? Do you have common sense? Something happened that shouldn't have. Were you worried that this guy was going to bring this up? If it was going on four years and you were the one to finally bring it up, chances are you husband probably had an idea but didn't want to deal with it. He would have been happy to live in denial about it. You need to start thinking a little bit more before you speak. Somethings should be taken to the grave, not so much for your need to clear your conscious, but for your husbands happiness. You married your husband, and he married you. If you wanted your friend to stay your friend so bad, you wouldn't have told your husband.

Answer 2

You have several issues here.First and foremost Trust is everything in a marriage without Trust you have nothing you said that your busband does not trust you so that is the first thing that you need to work on Secondly everyone has a past the fact that you slept with another guy before you got married is just something your husband need's to get over.Now the fact that you want to continue to be friend's with a man that you once slept with is just wrong.You say that you were very intoxicated when you slept with him and that is no excuse own up to what you did and let it go.You are married now and you have made a committment to be with your husband and to be faithful if your husband is not comfortable with you being friend's with this guy then you need to respect that.You can't have your cake and eat it too..Would you want your husband hanging out with is ex girlfriend's I THINK NOT..As I said everyone has a past and you can't change that but you can change what happens in your life now..Good Luck..

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you told him something without evaluating to consequences. If you had, then you surely you would have realized that your husband would have had an issue since this friend is still in your lives. Especially knowing that it happened on a drunk night, whose to say that it couldn't happen again? You really need to give your husband some time to adjust to this info and settle down his anger. The more you push for your friendship with that guy, the more suspicious your husband might get, wondering why you're fighting so hard to keep this friendship. Give your husband a few weeks, he may need longer. You made a commitment to him so you owe him that. Then when he's calm, speak to him and let him know that it was a mistake that happened way before you and your husband became serious. Just be prepared that your husband may not ever coem to terms with this and you just might have to lose that friend for the sake of your marriage.

Answer 4

what share couples do you realize that throughout the time of no way combat? some would combat not often, confident. in no way? *shrug* maximum individuals have issues via inexperience, loss of adulthood, and lack of ability to speak. issues can upward push up out of emotional trauma or psychological ailment. all of the factors stated above will reason serious dating issues. they may well be conquer if the two events are prepared, different than probably, the psychological ailment ingredient. regrettably, maximum couples have confidence they are prepared to alter themselves, yet interior the top, are greater comfortable being themselves, and don't probably exchange, they as a replace attempt to regulate the habit of their significant different, which in many cases fails miserably.

Answer 5

What you did before you met your husband should have no impact on what you have with him now. Stop bringing this other guy up, your husband doesn't want to hear about him and it's making him think that you still want this other guy. No wonder your husband gets mad about it, you need to stop making an issue of it and leave it in the past where it belongs.

Answer 6

First off, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You were seeing someone for 1 date. You didn't even need to bring this up, because it's not lying. I can't believe you jeopardized a good marriage by telling something so insignificant. If you thought he might over-react, I would have stayed silent until it came up in regular conversation.

Answer 7

you weren't even married, it didn't concern him, there was no need to tell him..it wasn't like you were keeping a secret or lieing to him, it was a part of your life that you put behind you so you should of just moved on...don't mention it anymore, it'll die down. If it continues to bother your husband then hopefully he'll be honest with YOU and talk to you about it but you did what you wanted to do...don't linger on it..let it go

Answer 8

I suggest you find out why he's so angry!
Your not telling him was on you, your responsibility, not his problem!
Your friend however is HISTORY, I suggest you move on and remember why you got married in the first place!
Friend come and go, but a spouse is a partner for life, and hopefully someone you can share your life with!

Answer 9

Isn't it kinda late to ask what you should do? You should have asked if you should tell your husband about the other guy. You should have kept it to yourself. It's hard to "un-ring" a bell. It's your bed that you have to sleep in now. Sorry!~

Answer 10

I don't see how you can keep both. Friend has to go.