hes alot older then me.thats why hes been unnamed in my past questions and why i've been protective of my r'ship with him.as i said in past questions we have been dating for 2 months or so.but hes older and stronger then i am.i am past caring if people find this a joke.its not.but believe what you like.
i know how a woman feels now(although its probably 10x worse for a female).
i've got a broken arm,had a black eye,adislocated law and 3 broken ribs cause of his jealous temper.i've kept his identity a secret from my friends,they dont know his name or his age.they think i am dating a friend of ours.i'm not though i am just using him as a cover,not actually using him in that sense.he is the only one that knows my boyfriend.life is really tough with him.i hate being weak,its not a man thing to be.
i just dont know what to do anymore.i cant even stay away from him even for a few days.i used my feelings for dream_hawk22 just to end it.but i just cant really thats why i am back with him.
2007-04-07 02:13:49 · 33 answers · asked by conner_conner11 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i love him.its probably just a phase hes going through.just letting out his anger now instead of later.
2007-04-07 06:35:51 · update #1
This was written about a woman, but it can apply to anyone who is being abused. PLEASE PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION CONNER!
I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt
me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he
said,
because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special
day.
Last night he threw me into a wall and started to
choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it
was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers
today.
I got flowers today, and it wasn't mother's day or
any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again,
it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry
because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today,
Today was a very special day,
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him
I would not have gotten flowers today......
2007-04-07 07:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by castle h 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, there is honestly nothing that any of us can tell you because in the end you will not accept the right answer, which you yourself know is the right answer, and that is that you must leave him without regard to how much you love him. And you really need to evaluate your "love" for him, because allowing anyone to physically abuse you to the point of broken bones IS NOT LOVE, unless you are enjoying the abuse. There are only two things you need from anyone and that is love and respect, and anyone - especially a lover - who cannot give you those two simple things has no place in your life, baby! He is not going through a phase. He has serious emotional and control issues based on things that were done to him, and you can not cure him, change him, nor help him. If you do not leave you will end up dead, and if not, you will eventually die inside. get out now, even if you have to live on the street under a bridge! Respect yourself and stop letting him sh*t on you. You do NOT deserve it, even if you think you do. If you feel you must confront him when you leave, HAVE PEOPLE THERE WITH YOU! Do not break up with him while you are alone with him. Do not hesitate to call the police if necessary. And don't think you are the only person who has had the same feelings to someone else that you do toward him. It is called "battered wife syndrome" and it is very real and very serious. So what if you love him?! He OBVIIOUSLY DOES NOT LOVE YOU because love is NOT violent in anyway. It may hurt to leave him since you love him, but lots of things in this world hurt, and if you aren't gonna kill yourself you've GOT to go on! Find someone who will love you and treat you with tenderness and respect. And that is my PROFESSIONAL opinion.
-Rev. Jim Cunningham
King James Bible Ministry
GayChristianSurvivors.com
2007-04-07 07:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by kjv_gods_word 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, snap out of it.
This isn't a problem with you, or your relationship, this is a problem with your partner. Don't internalize it and don't accept it. He's not strong and you're not weak.
He was probably very abused growing up, and hasn't dealt with it. So he's taking it out on you. This isn't a show of strength, it's a show of low self esteem, he's the weak one.
So what you do is, get up out of your chair, and call the police. If you live with the guy wait until he's at work to call, or go to the corner store and call them from there. If you need a place to stay call some friends, or go to a shelter, either way you're better off.
You can whine and ***** "oh but he's a great person the rest of the time," or "oh but I love him so." But even if both are true, he needs to learn his lesson that this is not acceptable in any way shape or form. He needs to get his *** thrown in jail, and to lose you, or he'll never stop.
Even if you just leave, he'll end up doing it to the next guy, and the next guy, and the next guy, and the next guy. If you intervene you can help break that chain.
So do the right thing, be strong, call the cops, get his *** hauled outta there.
Never EVER let anyone keep you down. EVER!
2007-04-07 04:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by Luis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont find anything humurous or funny about your situation. But only YOU can solve this problem. I was in a very abusive relation when I was younger and I know how you feel. WE can ALL tell you that you have to leave, but only you can look to your inner self for the courage. It took me having a child to decide I couldn't put him in danger therefore I KNOW how hard it is to leave. You have only two choices, stay and it WILL get worse in passing time or leave and yeah it hurts but if you stay you take the chance of being seriously hurt. Not only physically but mentally as well. Eventually your bf will have you believing you are the lowest form of life, worthless, noone else will have you the list goes on. This is their way of insuring that you go NOWHERE and continue to let them abuse you. I would definitely seek help, get a restraining order, go to some support groups (theres no rules in an abusive spousel support group of who can go btw) And just get OUT!!! DO the three GO's Get Out, Get Over, Get On (with life) Good Luck I hope things work out for you and try to remember you are a person who gives and DESERVES respect and love!!!
2016-04-01 02:01:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres no easy answer as obviously the right thing to do is leave him but love does have a way of takin hold. It's difficult, but what you have to realise is that there are many more people made for you out there who will care for you and love you for who you are. You need to go out and they'll find you. If the next person shows signs of violence, get out immediately before your feelings get strong again. You have to think of yourself and be happier because I don't know who you are, but I would much rather hear that you are happy enjoying life, not worried about what he will think next and will he hurt you. If I love you, I would trust where your going without question and hold you when your with me. Theres no love in wanting to beat up anyone through jealousy. Ok I'm rambling now. Get out now and dont turn back. Walk forward and smile with relief. Seriously, keep me posted. X
2007-04-07 03:03:07 · answer #5 · answered by N00B154 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to place your hand in the fire to know it will get burnt, likewise you don't have to stay in a abusive relationship to realise you will be beaten again.
It seems that your relationship with this man is based on power, his power over you.
Any relationship must be based on equality and respect for both parties, any relation where one partner is exerting more power over the other is an abusive relationship.
Whether a person is gay or straight, the fundamental element in any relationship is loving respect and understanding.
All human beings require love, no human being deserves to be beaten by what is meant to be the love of their life.
My advice to you is; Turn over a new leaf, and leave this aggressive man before its too late.
2007-04-07 20:46:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell haven't you called the police and had him arrested? He doesn't love you or care for you at all. Do you think so little of yourself that you'll continue to allow him beat you? Tell your friends the truth. You need as much support in getting away from him as you can. He won't change, and he won't stop until he's broken you completely. You are worth much more than that. If he's injured you so badly in the short space of 8wks of dating, what do you think you'll endure in the future 6months, a year, 5years? Get out NOW
2007-04-07 04:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey. LISTEN TO ME! This is no 'phase he is going through'. This is serious stuff. You need to get away from him and get away from him now! You are going to end up in a situation that will get repeatedly more violent and pyschologicially frightening.. You can do it. You can leave..and you have to. Get to a gay crisis line or call the police...this man is dangerous and you do not have to take this type of behaviour. I am really worried about you..I have seen this happen to my sister-in-law..and the final result is not pretty. This man doesn't care about you...has serious anger management problems and probably terribly low self-esteem. Tell people who he is. Get away from him. Call the police...Please. I care. Many people on here do as well.
2007-04-07 06:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, I know what it is like to be in an abusive relationship. I too was with a guy that made me fear him. I am an older man and he was younger. He got so angry at me at times and he beat me up. I knew that I had to leave. It was either leave or stay and let him kill me or I was gonna kill him. Which way do you want it. Your situation is worse than mine was. Mine never broke any of my bones, but he hit me in the head and face a few times. Just get the courage to leave. Catch him gone and pack and go. Get outta there before things get much worse. Please go! I fear for your life. Get out of there,you have to do it today because if you give him one more second, it could be too late for you or him. He doesn't love you he only wants the control over you and he lives for the fear he causes you. Please get outta there now!!!
2007-04-07 02:50:50 · answer #9 · answered by njoy1boi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you get tired of being beat up, you'll leave. There's no love in that relationship, but some kind of sick dependence.
Women do the same (foolish) thing and return to their abusers time and again. Just make sure you get out before it's too late...is being with someone worth dying over?
Get some counseling for your dependency issues sugar, and get on with your life.
2007-04-07 02:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋