My BF and I would have/have been together for a year at the end of this month. In Dec. his ex. gave birth to a duaghter and said it was his. The paternity results came back about a week ago and she IS his.
His ex was so in love with him, and ironically said she didnt know sh was preg. until she gave birth ( a month early, she was due in jan 07).
This has put a tremendous strain on our realationshiop. Last night he was babysitting his daughter for the first time alone last night. I was there for about 15 min then left. I called him up and said that being with him hurt me more, so i'd rather be withouth.
I love him SO MUCh and he does the same. But this is SO hard for me to deal with this. The ex. has a new BF and seems to be living the life while our relati. is pretty much in the hole.
I also had an abortion in Oct. 06 and every since that day ive had a hard time dealing with it. And then this new baby comes and it even more difficutlt.
Please SERIOUS REPSONSES
2007-04-07 02:02:37 · 10 answers · asked by SouthCackalacky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You sound young. That is not a bad thing....I just don't think you need to be dealing with this in your life right now. It would probably be better for you to move on....trust me I know it is hard. But keep yourself busy, and you will come to realize that you don't have to settle for a relationship with dysfunction in it. Keeping yourself busy is key to moving on. Surround yourself with good friends that will help you keep your mind off of it. Good luck.
2007-04-07 02:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess maybe I'm not understanding the situation. Your contradicting yourself, you say you love him so much yet your not willing to stay because he NOW has a child from the ex that neither knew about at the time of their ended relationship. It would seem to me that if you love him so dearly , you would love all of him, imperfections, flaws and all. The ex doesn't seem to be a threat or a factor because she has moved on with her life so the problem here seems to lie within YOU. Are you sure you Love this man, because it sounds like you dont truly LOVE him. We all know most people have had a "past" life. I dont think he intentionally did this to hurt you. And I have to say he sounds very promising as a future husband/father. He's already showing you he takes his responsibilities seriously. Alot of men would have nothing to do with the child, let alone take responsibility such as he has. I would say that you may want to move on, I am most certainly not trying to hurt your feelings but it sounds like you may even have a jealousy issue, and we are talking about an innocent child that did not ask to be brought here. I think if you could put this whole jealousy issue behind you, you will find that this baby could become a very big part of BOTH your lives. Children just want to be loved and nurtured. Good luck in whatever you decide to do and I hope only the best for you ALL.
2016-04-01 02:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sorry to say but it's probably for the best.
He now has ties to his ex that can't be broken and will involve her in his life forever. If it hurt that time seeing him and his child, then it will just get worse over the years. She and this child will be around and in your life forever, is that really want you want to put up with? You don't need this, the two of you are just dating. There now seems to be too much drama (the abortion) between the two of you and you can't seem to get along. You need to leave him and start new with someone else.
There is a reason it's called dating...
2007-04-07 02:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is too painful for you to be with him, and I can understand why, then you need to move on. This baby isn't going to go anywhere. She is going to be a part of his life forever. You can't base your decision on what his ex is doing. You say she has a new BF and seems to be living the life. That may be so, but that has nothing to do with you. You need to do what makes your life easier and don't worry about anyone else. Sometimes love isn't enough to keep a relationship going. Especially under these circumstances. You also can't blame her for your relationships demise. It takes 2.
2007-04-07 02:23:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you love him, stick by him. You man has just turned into a package deal. Him, his child and the ex....that will be the situation until the child is an adult. Either you will deal with it or you won't. I understand how you're feeling, but you need to evaluate your relationship and see if it is worth it. If it is, good luck, and don't give up trying. If not, move on. Start over.
2007-04-07 02:26:50 · answer #5 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get therapy to deal with the abortion and not from some guilt tripping antichoice freak who believes in post abortion syndrome or some other crap like that. It shouldn't be an issue anymore. You need to move on. .
As for the boyfriend, do you really want to be with some guy who has a kid? You don't need to be dragged into that kind of drama. It wasn't her who ruined your relationship. It looks like your boyfriend doesn't know how to wrap it up or say no to sex with pro-lifers or women who would potentially have a child.
2007-04-07 02:19:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say that he loves you. Are you for real? He was sleeping with her when you both were together. Do The math. He is and she are both liers. I would bet everything that he knew about her being pregnant and that he knew this as you were having an abortion. He loves you? Think real hard and do the right thing.
2007-04-07 02:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by orcarius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he just want to be with is new daughter or does he have feelings for his ex too? I think you should talk to him and find out where you fit into his life. Maybe he's trying to be a good father and wants to spend time with his new daughter. Maybe he doesn't even love his ex.
2007-04-07 02:07:42 · answer #8 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seams like you are jealous that the other girl birth her baby and your boyfriend is happy with his child and you killed yours and are unhappy that he is happy with his child. Sounds like you made the wrong decision and now you have to live with it. Abortion in your circumstance was a selfish decision and now that same selfishness is coming out because you don't have your boyfriend to yourself anymore. You need to walk away, regroup and find your self and your purpose. You would not be a good influence around that child and you need not interfere with his parenting. Parents don't babysit their children.
2007-04-07 02:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by kyle g 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dump him. I know that's difficult to do, but ten years from now you'll be glad you did.
2007-04-07 02:07:15 · answer #10 · answered by AZ123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋