Coming out of the closet will make me happier, but my parents, family, friends miserable. People don't understand that being gay is not a choice. Anyway, if I decide to come out of the closet that would mean I have to move to a more civilized country. That's what I would like to do for my own sake. But this will ruin the lives of my parents, some friends and family. I am already under pressure to get married, which, of course, can't happen and I don't know whether I should be selfish and try to immigrate somewhere and reveal my identity and thus make my parents whom I love to death unhappiest people on the earth or just keep on living suffering and cursing my luck and my orientation every day. Once I asked my brother what he would do if he had a gay sibling, he said he would kill him/her or kill himself cuz of the stigma and the society's attitude. I could kill myself and I'm fine with that, but I don't know if this is the "average" of the two solutions. So happier I or happier family?
2007-04-07 00:51:28 · 18 answers · asked by crazy 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
If you didn't get enough answers the last time you asked exactly the same question.Why do you think it will be different this time around?
Anyway ,it is your life,live it the way you want.
2007-04-07 01:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Death is no goal if life, it is the end of life. Forget that idea. Do what is best for yourself. Look long term, if you would be happier to be openly gay, then obviously you will need to immigrate to another country where gays are accepted. You don't have to tell your family why you are emigrating, just go and get on with your life, don't let your family decide how you should live your life, especially if it is a lie. Start saving some money and develop a long range plan to get yourself out of your country and into one that will accept you as you are. If you are in one of the really bad countries re human rights, you might qualify as a refuge.
2007-04-07 06:57:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have just said it........"about your life" All of us love our families and that doesn´t stop us to live our own lives ever, so if you feel that telling the truth you´ll become hated by them.... don´t say anyone just wait your time to move and enjoy.
Look I´m not gay.... but I love my family very much too and I have a 8 months niece and she is a delightful baby and loves me a lot and I also do but I´m moving to another country to live my life....and I´ll last 20 hours flying if they ever need me but you know what? You only have this one so.... Be happy and live it.
You always can go to visit without having to tell them the truth because for your luck, nowadays there´s a lot of people that prefer being single.... and you can always tell them that you have a girlfriend or something or get a good female girlfriend to performance .....in front of your family when you need it.
Good luck!!
2007-04-07 08:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by usbc s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would not have to tell your family why you decided to emigrate. You can't live a lie your whole life, and, if you marry, you will ruin your wife's life as well. Don't kill yourself, and don't live out your life rejecting who you are! Find another country, and have a happy life there. You can return for visits to your family and tell them about your job or other aspects of your life without telling them about your sex life.
Good luck. And start the process today -- most countries that are gay friendly have a long waiting list for immigration.
2007-04-07 02:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by Maple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure about your age,but I'd wait until you could and move. My wife and i both have gay relatives on each side of our families. It must be difficult. I would move to a country where it's excepted more. I could never understand why people think gays love to be harassed, ridiculed and tormented because of being gay. Why would someone chose that. I agree.. For the most, it's not a choice..In my youth.. I was the same as any teen boy. gays were sick. Now that I'm older and educated, I know better. ps. Move to San Francisco.. Very tolerant.
2007-04-07 03:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by xjaz1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh darling... that's some real problems you got there...
First of all: don't kill yourself. It looks clear to me you don't want to be dead, you just want to be able to handle the situation.
It's clear you can't live a lie you're whole life long, but just coming out of the closet don't seem a good option either.
What I would do in your case, is search a job in another country. Then you'll have a good reason to move to another country and your parents will be proud of you because you make a good living. And that way, maybe you can slowly tell your parents, without all of the neighbourhood knowing it all at once...
If you should tell your parents, tell you're mother first. Mothers are often more comprehensive....
Courage!
2007-04-07 01:23:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a horrible situation! Oh God... I can't express how bad I feel for you. Coming out of the closet isn't easy, but the circumstances of yours make it near impossible. I've been told that its always best ti be yourself, but doing so for you jeopardizes your well-being. I hate to say it but play undercover for a little while longer until the situation lightens up. Those who are gay, know what its like to be hidden and for the sake of your life, take life as an acting career in a way that doesn't mess with your mind or make matters worse. Stay strong! There has to be a way out somehow...sometime...
2007-04-07 10:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by Cale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family cannot be happy if you are unhappy for your mood will wear into them sooner or later.
A happy family consists of happy individuals. You are an individual and unhappy, therefore your family cannot be happy as a whole.
Plus you are talking about killing yourself off. If I had a son, I rather him be gay then dead. Doing so will make your family even more unhappy. Yes the shame and embarrassement would be overwhelming, however with time acceptance would come because it would be my son. Losing a child, the grief is never accepted or ever passes.
Move somewhere more accepting of who you are and come out, or just move and not come out, say you moved due to better jobs out there. In short move, its better for you.
Do not have to move to another country. San Fransisco is reknown for its gay community.
2007-04-07 03:06:00 · answer #8 · answered by gotagetaweigh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you all again for your answers! Your support gave me the strength during the darkest moments of my life, and I have now been happily married for over a year and feeling blessed to be in the USA! It took time, patience and lots of hard work. It eventually did get better! I never ever thought I would be where I am today 8 years ago when I was so miserable and suicidal when posting my question...
2014-10-01 14:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by crazy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in life we just have to make personal decisions that may not sit well with others. This is one of those times for you. You are who you are, and I would make the decision that is best for you, and that is to move to another country, set down roots there, leave behind those who cannot accept you, forget about them as well, and move on with your life. You will do well and will be much happier. Make yourself #1 in making your decision.
Chow!!
2007-04-07 04:32:21 · answer #10 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a heavy decision in front of you.
But, so you know? Sex isn't satisfying. It feels good & it's fun, but it does not satisfy the inner longings for intimacy, acceptance & affirmation. After a while, you'll notice that physical pleasure is not worth the risk of STD's.
Prioritize. Make a list of pro's & con's. Maybe speak with a life coach to help you make this decision. I don't envy you.
2007-04-07 01:23:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋