if your spouse refrains you of sex, what should you do?

Question

i m very fond of sexual activity, and i have no problems with my sexual capabilities also, however my wife harrasses me , always discarding my request, what should i do. i m frusterated, is it fair to go for paid sex?

Answer 1

Treat her nice, do what ever she says you should do.
Buy her flowers and gifts, clean the house, cook dinner, keep the kids so she can have a night out with her friends, etc. Apologize for what ever you did that makes her harass you.

Do this on a regular basis. She will be all over you.

Don't cheat. She will find out and your marriage will be over.

Answer 2

Ashish, it sounds like your wife is trying to maintain control over the only thing in her life she still has control over: her body.

It sounds like you, your wife and your daughter have overstayed your welcome in your parent's home.

You say she become physically agressive with you and that you get dizzy at the thought of dealing with these people. That dizziness may be a panic attack.

Homelife has become unbearable for your wife, your daughter, your parents, and you. Something has to give. and the first thing to give should be your loyalites to your wife and child.

Have conversation with your wife about how it would be if you established your own residence. Go over a budget and see how the finances would work.

Explore the idea of having mom and dad go visit your brothers and sisters for short periods of time (say, a week) periodically, where your family could function without them for a bit. On a regular basis.

Everyone needs a break from the stress. Maybe you could take your wife and child on a vacation if you have vacation time.

You've damaged the image your wife had of her husband by not stepping up when choices had to be made.

If you stay in the same situation you are in now, make sure you and your wife have a private space. No parents in your bedroom and bathroom. Create a space where you and she can go to have some privacy. Thank her when she makes an effort with the parents. Acknowledge that the situation is difficult. She feels abandoned and she feels like she's been betrayed by you.

Only you have the ability to stop the blackmailing and harrassment. These are the tools she uses because they are the only tools available to her. She obviously doesn't feel that you will ensure her best interests.

Talk with your wife. Make a decision. Choose a path together and then implement it...as partners. She'll come around. She just needs for you to step into your true role as husband and head of household. When she can respect you again, she will come to you.

Answer 3

Your wife may be going through something that you are not aware of time to talk to her and find out from her why she is not interested in sex anymore like she used to. really marriage has many up's and downs and sex is among those things that comes and goes. Really you need to communicate with your wife. it is never right,fair or justified to cheat on your spouse come on you know that is adultery and is a sin really maybe she is just not as sexual active as you are menaing you have a higher sex drive then her really most men are in this boat so don't think for a second your the only husband out there that ain't getting any from the wife. One other thing women know they control the sex life in the relationship we just have to pray they give us some once in awhile.

God Bless and just hang in there be supportive with whatever your wife is going through and find out why she is becoming distant with you or why she is not giving it up. It could be something simple get into some couple's therapy ASAP.

Answer 4

There may be a reason she has now become disinterested in sex. First ask yourself...
was she ever really keen on sex?
Did she initiate it herself instead of just agreeing when you asked her?
Has she recently been pregnant / given birth?
Has your relationship changed in some way (someone been injured, someone cheated, someone spending a lot of time working away from home?)
How is your temper when she rejects you?
Do you threaten to see a prostitute when she rejects you?
All these things may cause her to lose all interest in sex for psycological reasons.

If she feels that you are pressuring her when she has a physical reason not to have sex (like having given birth recently or having an injury) she will feel you are insensitive to her problems. If you have been threatening her that you will see a prostitute, of course she is not going to reward that particular behaviour by giving in.

Maybe you are from a culture where women are pressured to be virgins and not interested in sex before marriage. It always amazes me that in cultures like that, after marriage the women are just expected to magically become keen on frequent sex when for their whole life until the point of marriage, they have been conditiond to think of sex as bad and undesirable.

The only way to sort things out is to have a talk with her about it. The best way to have a talk would be with a 3rd person present (family member or counsellor) so that no angry words are exchanged in an out of control fashion. I am sure that there is a simple reason for the lack of sex drive.

Good luck.

Answer 5

No, it is not fair. Instead of paying someone else for sex, why don't you find out why your wife is not willing. Maybe she is tired after working / caring for kids all day? Maybe she needs some help with those things? If you don't support her, you can hardly expect her to be ready and willing to grant your every wish in the bedroom.

Answer 6

When u have a wife then y u should look 4 sex outside?? Is sex is d only thing u desire???
Try to make her understand how u feel! Talk to her. Try to love her n stop using her only for sex!
M sure things will change.

Answer 7

According to law ,Failure to satisfy the partner's sexual urge is a valid case for Divorce.


But before that get her some good counseling on sex..

Answer 8

Have a talk with her and tell her that you have needs. If she ignores you than think about going to therapy or separating. It is never a good idea to go outside the marriage for sex, especially to pay for it. Do you want to get some kind of disease?

Answer 9

as others said,try asking yourself.what could be the reason my wife won`t have fun in sex with me anymore?..
Do you just kiss or caress her when u feel u need her on bed? i hate that..
Your capabilities in sex doesnt count, its how u make the inner intimate feelings of your partner burn..
Try to show extra affection,..hand stroke on her back when shes tired,steal with a kiss while shes bc, or be romantic as well, stick a romantic notes where she usually there..
give hera massage,etc..
Just do that without goin into fuc`kin rightaway.
Make it as natural as possible that she would not notice that ur up into something at the end of the day..
Might work..i would loved my husband when he do that..makes me wana pull him on bed at night and showered him love the way he does with me on that day.

goodluck!

Answer 10

If you have trouble talking about it, maybe you should both speak to a marriage councillor. Communication is what keeps relationships going.