low self esteem?

Question

i have low self esteem, been to self assertivness classes, they didnt work really, i always look on the negative side of things and i hate it!!! i have been hurt so much in the past by men, so i dont trust them, i have a partner of 7 years and he finds it difficult to put up with, i keep saying ill change but then i go back down the same road!!! i want to change i really do, my relationship is at stake here, any suggestions???

Answer 1

Hey Ann J - LSE must b real hard 2 kick. U got started so sta the path of recovery & avoid the worn out road of negativity.

Answer 2

I definitely know what having low self esteem is like. I suffered from it for a long time. Being in high school was the worst! And then when you marry someone that is always lusting after other women, that makes it even worse!(referring to my marriage)
You are in a dark hole that you need to pull yourself out of and trust me, it's hard. It takes time to build self esteem. You need to ask yourself what is it about YOU that makes you unhappy.(being overweight, hair problems, no social life...etc.) Try to do things that would fix it and then think about all the things that do make you happy and focus on all the positive things.
I think maybe you never really healed from past relationships and maybe you have jumped from one relationship to the next, hoping the next person will give you what you are missing. But before you can love anyone else, you have to love yourself first. Then people will notice your confidence and respect you more and not try to use you. People, not all people, usually take advantage of others who are vunerable. And I believe this is what the case was in your past.
Just hold your head up girl and be positive because you are beautiful! Tell yourself that!
One way to up your self esteem is to set realistic goals and do all you can to reach those goals in life. When you do, you will be so proud of yourself.

Answer 3

Low self esteem happens to many people and is something that only you can fix. Believing in God is the way that I keep my self esteem high. I find that I think more positively and am more trusting when I am including the Lord in my life. You must work on yourself and become positive and happy with you before you can be sucessful in a relationship though. So, work on you first. Best wishes to you!

Answer 4

Low self esteem and a negative outlook on life. Sounds to me like you need treatment for depression. Try something like Cognitive Behavoural Therapy (which you can do in a class) to help you manage your mood. It has the same sucess rate as antidepressant medication without the high risk of relapse or the side effects. Exercise and dietary changes can also help with depression.

Answer 5

Self-esteem is different than self-assertive, that's probably why the classes weren't much help. Self-esteem is the quality that allows you to know that you are valuable on this earth. Valuable for only one reason is enough, but most people have many areas why they're valuable. For example: I am valuable because my children love and need me. I am valuable because my parents love and need me. I am valuable because I am sensitive to others who have been emotionally bruised and need a safe place to rest their 'stuff'.

So, why are you valuable? If you can't answer that...you are most likely depressed. Not only that but you are looking for men to make you feel valuable. That's not what they're here for. If a guy wants to be with you, that's great, but that isn't what makes you important on earth or in life. Most people will run from that responsibility, it's too heavy a load to bear.

You need to re-train your thought processes...from the negative go positive...I'm just a loser changes to, I'm struggling but I know I can beat this!

Practice stating your self-thoughts in positive encouraging statements only.

Thank your guy for being so patient! He'll stick it out for long enough for you to get well, but he needs to see that you are working on it.

Blessings!

Answer 6

I'm very depressed but i don't have a low self esteem because my friend think that my interest in thing is cool and it prevent me from killing myself. my friends and teachers found out that it will almost impossible to stop being depressed but their is one way to stop it and i will try it on Monday. being depressed or having low self esteem can really affect you like because i used to have 1000 Friends but i started to feel depressed and now i only have 50 Friends in 2 years of being depressed.
Here are some things that can help you:
try to do cool thing like playing the guitar or tell what you like to do and if you Friends think it's cool or amazing then your self esteem goes up. it really works!

Answer 7

Everyone deals with low self esteem, even Jennifer Aniston, and Jessica Alba. I have had similar problems in relationships, and it has ruined a few. I feel like I need my partner to tell me how attractive they think I am, or how much they want me, or love me every minute. It's hard for them, and it's hard for me. You need to realize there are lots of things that are attractive about you; lots of things special about you. Whether it's your looks, or your love for animals, or sports: whatever it is, it's YOU. You're a prize! Don't forget it!

Answer 8

It doesn't make sense to me when a person knows she is down and won't do anything to bring herself out of it,you do things to make your self more depressed.I have been married three times and all three cheated on me,the third husband the one I am still with walked out for 21/2 years. I was so down I had to take antidepressant and within one week I was a different person no more depression.I was on the pills for three months and I decided to stop taken them.I was find after that I started enjoying the fact that I no longer had to cook everyday and wash his clothes.When he saw I wasn't this poor broken down of a woman he started looking at me in a whole new light we started to date like in the beginning when we first met.Do you get what I'm saying to you.Men don't like weak women and they will find someone else.You and I no this from experience,so pick yourself up girl and do it just do it put it in your head and do it.

Answer 9

Try to be patient and not all men are same. You can change yourself by stop doing and repeating it. Enjoy each day of your life its too short. Avoid arguments. Life is too short and make most of it. I have lost someone by not trusting the person. You are lucky and if you love someone you ought to bring the harmony in the relationship. Forget the past and brighten up your present. Good luck.

Answer 10

First of all, know that you're not the only one out there. I used to have horrible self esteem. I'd recommend any type of therapy and/or counseling. It helped me a great deal. Good luck :)