I haven't dated since college. I'm just now asking women to meet me for coffee. I asked five women this year and every one of them said no. They have no idea about my illness. Be nice please.
2007-04-06 19:17:25 · 9 answers · asked by Phillip 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
My dad, best friend and youth pastor's wife are all bipolar. There is nothing wrong with being bipolar. If someone doesn't even want to give you a chance because you have this disorder then you shouldn't want to give them a chance. Maybe you should try starting a conversation with them and ask them about their hobbies. Then ask them for coffee, or dinner, or lunch.
Good luck~*
2007-04-06 19:24:40 · answer #1 · answered by Special K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the club here. I am a 38 year old woman with bipolar disorder and have been trying out the dating thing. I think it is more difficult for us because of the common experiences of having isolated from others at times and relationships be they romantic, friendships or sometimes family have suffered over the roller coaster ride. It makes it harder to take the risk and fear of rejection is common for us folks. I feel like a teenager in an adult world sometimes but dating is a big deal for everyone. The best advise I can give from my experience so far is to get out there, don't give up. Each time you ask someone out it is like practice and each time you meet someone for coffee, it may go onto a second cup or not. Do not take it personally if things do not go well, there are a hundred reasons why the person may have said no and most of them have nothing to do with you. I learn from each experience, do not focus on that second date, enjoy the first. Just remember, there is a Ms Right out there for you and a Mr Right out there for me, I just wish they would wear a label. Good luck.
2016-05-19 01:57:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The dating outlook is the same for everyone regardless: partly cloudy.
I say this because what one thinks of as advantages or disadvantages have little or no bearing upon being socially successful. Alot of 'beautiful' together people couldn't find Mr/Mrs Right if they fell from the sky and landed at their feet. On the other hand, even serial killers and murderers find love in prison, so one is not necessarily more or less disadvantaged than one might think.
The simplest answer is still the best: pigeons don't hang around pelicans looking for love. This means that the best 'way' to find someone to date/love is to go where you are most likely to find people who don't think you are all that strange to begin with. Sure, pigeons and pelicans can fall in love, but there is a reason why most pigeons hang around statues and not at the pier.
Once you find the 'place' most likely to draw people similar to yourself (hobbies are good places to start) then you are most likely to find someone who will be both attracted to you (since you like what they like) and be more inclined to deal with the personal baggage you bring to the relationship.
Five women this year, some guys have five women a NIGHT (or more) reject their advances before even finding one who will remotely THINK about going somewhere with them. In other words, expect alot of 'no thank yous' and 'some other time' replies. That is perfectly normal, unfortunately.
And if you need encouragment, think of this: finding the ONE means that your odds, calculated as of today, are 1/6,587,231,698. Divide it by 2 (assuming a generic division between men and women) and you get a rough estimate at 1/3,293,615,849. That means that you have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding true love, yet more people find 'true love' than win the lottery.
So, don't start thinking about where you want to rent that one-bedroom retirement condo just yet. Treat it like a baseball game: it ain't over til the final out.
2007-04-07 01:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by Khnopff71 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My hubby has bi-polar. I would think it would depend how controlled your bi-polar is. If the other person does not have bi-polar please be honest with them. If I was not prepared I would not have known how to handle my hubbies illness. I have been married to him now for 5 years and together 2 years before that. I'm just curious however why you are only dating now. Anyway, entering the dating scene is the same as a non bipolar person when it comes to dating anyway. I was attracted to my hubbies personality. He is funny, caring, attractive, and so many other traits I was attracted to. However, it was only diagnosed in 2001. He had it since he was a child, but was diagnosed as ADHD. It's a struggle for him everyday with his bi-polar, but it can be a struggle for the other person as well because it is hard to understand sometimes what that person wants. The dating scene is hard enough. I would think that at 35 you probably are taking your meds regularly and have a better handle on you're bi-polar. I am telling you though, be as honest as possible, but try not to spring it on the person on the first date, but do not give up.
2007-04-06 19:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep asking! The key to getting a woman's attention is to be yourself and be confident in who you are.
You can manage your bipolar disorder with meds easily, so that should not even be an issue with any dates. You should share that bit of information if you get serious with a woman, but not before then (it's nobody's business but yours).
Maybe it's the way you're asking? Relax. Be yourself. Stop looking at it as dating but more of a casual, hanging out with friends. That will give you more practice at asking and actually meeting for that cup of coffee.
Lastly, are you striking up a conversation before asking someone out for coffee? A random invitation from a stranger is always turned down. You need to create a comfortable atmosphere before you're offer for coffee will be accepted. Meet her first. Have a conversation and be comfortable with who you are to get her attention.
Good luck - and don't give up!
2007-04-06 19:26:21 · answer #5 · answered by Aileen C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So long as you are in control of your bipolar, take your medication, get therapy, and work with your doctor as your situation evolves... then it should have NO impact on your ability to date. Don't be discouraged by the people that said no. They probably had their reasons. The best thing you can do is get involved with as many activities as you can handle so that you'll meet more people. The more people you expose yourself to, the more likely it is that you'll find someone who is interested! Outside of that, all I can say is be yourself and treat everyone you meet with respect! Whether or not you are bi-polar or not is none of their business unless it starts to get serious. Good luck!
2007-04-06 19:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bipolar disorder is characterized by the presence of a manic state (extreme highs) and depressive state (extreme lows). Decision making for a person with bipolar disorder might be quite hard because of the mood fluctuations you undergo. However, in terms of dating, you might as well be as normal as anybody as long as you get to recognize the period (manic, medium, depressive) you are in. Basically, it is not detrimental to you as long as you understand yourself well and choose the people you date with by measuring their capacity to understand your condition. Good luck on that. =D
2007-04-06 19:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by Kitiara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do not have to have a name for your illness to know your illness... actions speak much louder than the coloring of a name.
2007-04-06 19:29:09 · answer #8 · answered by Richard15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bright!
2007-04-06 19:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by Sami V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋