Thought I was having a girl, but its boy. Im sad...is this normal?

Question

Hi! My name is mandi, and Im 33 weeks pregnant. At 20 weeks I had an ultrasound, and the doc said he was 80% sure I was having a girl. So my boyfriend and I took that as good odds, and we were were tired of calling it "it", so we started calling her she and by what her name would be, baylie. Now we knew there was still a slim chance of a boy, so we didnt buy pink. Just one cute pink onsie with flowers on it and some pink and white socks. Well, I had her all vusualized...in her pink outfits, daddys little girl. Andy read to "her" everynight through my belly. Well not, after 13 weeks of this, andy got me a 4d ultrasound. And its a boy. Definately a boy. And please, dont get me wrong, I love him so much and cant wait for him to be here with me! But it feels like I lost a little girl! like she was real. I tried not to be upset, then last night I just lost it. I cried clutching "her" onsie and socks. I cant let them go. So I put them in a bag and wrote baylie on it. Is that weird? continue.

I mean, I definately plan on having a girl now someday, because its kinda like she exists, but not yet. Im probably not making any sense. I just cant let the clothes go. Its like they are HERS. So im keeping them for one day when I have her. Is that okay?

Thanks everyone. I am looking forward to my little boy, really I am! Hes perfect and healthy and I couldnt ask for more. And I will have baylie one day, lol, even if its 10 boys later! Im so glad you all understand. Thats exactly everything I wanted to hear

Answer 1

hi there o do not be sad you'll get your princess but NOW you have a prince whose going to be by your side as you get older he will be your protector and your little princess when she is born one day. doctors do make mistakes it's part of life. just enjoy being a mother to your son it must be a purpose for his life to be. maybe one of our presidents or a congress man. you know today my son had his first daughter and my next daughter is also going to have a baby in august both girls no boys but I am proud to have them in my family cause it's a blessing to have grand kids and kids for many cry tears of the heart cause they can not have any so we must give thanks to god towards our everyday blessing . you be proud of your son a good name is a bible name if you like.

Answer 2

You're pregnant, and when your pregnant, hormones are all over the place. In a way, you did lose the little girl you had been preparing for. It's hard to prepare for a child, regardless of it's gender, and when you were use to the idea of a little girl, and "lost" her, it was a shock. BUT...look at the positive side, you've gained a little boy! Baylie is still also a cute name for a boy! But if you're dead set on having a daughter named Baylie some day, then don't consider it a loss...just know that she is extra blessed now, because you are already loving her, and she will have an amazing big brother to take care of her when she does come some day!

Answer 3

I'm sure it's hard on you after being told it was a girl. I think being sad is normal. Just be glad you found out before the baby was born.

I had a friend who had 3 boys and they were trying for the last time to have a girl. They had two ultra sounds and both times they said it was a girl.

They went out and bought pink everything. Well, she had another boy.

She was devastated. She had major depression for months and really didn't want anything to do with the baby. People thought she was being so terrible, but when you haven't been there, you don't know how you're going to act.

Don't feel guilty for your feelings. But, I believe when this little boy is born, you're going to be so thrilled that you'll get over the way that you are feeling.

Good luck and start thinking about what you're going to name that little boy. Save that bag for Baylie, you might use it someday.

Answer 4

Your feelings are completely normal, you already had a picture of your "little girl" in your mind. I had my first ultrasound at 14 weeks and they told me they were 75 % sure it was a boy, at 18 weeks they confirmed with another ultrasound that I was in fact having a boy. But I can understand how you feel, once you find out the sex of your child you feel like you can really start planning for them. Thinking you are having one sex and then finding out months later that it is actually the opposite sex must be devastating. You must feel like everything has changed. Again this is normal, it is okay to grieve for the little girl you feel like you lost, and it is normal to save the things you bought for future children. Maybe your next baby will be Baylie. Just don't forget, Becoming a parent is the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful thing you will ever experience. Please take the time to rejoice in your healthy baby boy. You are disappointed now but when you look into your beautiful baby boys face you will forget you were ever upset. The love you will feel for him, will be like nothing you have ever felt. Good Luck and a big hug to you and your new family.

Answer 5

It's not wierd at all! I felt the same way when I got my ultrasound. I just knew I was having a girl - I had been dreaming of pigtails and frilly dresses and teaparties since the day I found out I was pregnant. I asked the doctor, "are you SURE it's a boy?" and I didn't tell anyone and cried for three days. Of course my husband and parents thought I was silly, they all said "at least it's a healthy baby." Which is of course the most important thing, but it didn't make me miss "my" little girl any less! The grief certainly gave way to excitement as the due date got closer and closer, and I promise, by the time you are holding that little boy you'll be fine. Now, I have two boys and I can't really imagine having a girl, although I haven't given up hope that one day I'll have one!

Answer 6

You thought you were having a girl for 13 weeks, so you just need some time to adjust and get used to the idea of a boy. It is okay for you to be sad, and there is nothing wrong with saving some clothing for a future baby girl. Any woman who is pregnant is going to have ups and downs emotionally -- think of all those hormones and all the physical changes your body is going through! Go shopping and pick out a little outfit for your baby boy, start thinking of some boys' names, and you will soon be comfortable with the idea of a boy. And the first time you see your precious little baby boy, you will be so happy -- it will be the best day of your life! Good luck, Mandi!

Answer 7

I understand what you mean. That doesn't make you wrong or bad. If you picture a certain sex, that's what you'll expect...and it's normal to be upset, confused, or disappointed. I'd probably be the same way, with either gender, if it turned out to be incorrect. I think you did the right thing...put those girl things away for the Baylie who will be born one day. I hope you enjoy your little boy...you know they love their mamas! And don't feel bad, I'm sure what you're feeling is normal, since you were so looking forward to one thing and now know it's something totally different. Good luck, congratulations, and please feel better!

Answer 8

First...its so great that you asked this question. What a caring and wonderful mom you will be! My husband and I thought we were having a girl and went through the same thing you are going through. Some of it was hormones for sure, but I do think that alot of that feeling of loss is just real-- you get a picture in your head and start telling yourself stories about that picture and its shattering when it changes.

But I want you to know that the second my son was born, I literally instantly fell in love with being a mommy to boys. The minute I saw his face I was 'cooked'. I would be happy to have a girl some day, but I would also consider it a great joy to have nothing but boys.

Answer 9

When I had my first baby I was told it was a girl at 20 weeks and I felt the same way. I wanted a boy so badly that I was completely disappointed when they told me it was a girl "for sure". Then I felt stupid and guilty for feeling disappointed. I think it is perfectly normal...you get an idea in your head about your new family and when you get told it is going to be different it throws you for a loop.

We now have three beautiful girls (15, 13,&10) and I can't imagine my life without any of them...now I can't think of what I would do with a boy!!! And my husband loves being our "token Male". He's the only one with any privacy in the house!! lol Our family is perfact just the way God gave it to us!!

Answer 10

I think it's pretty normal. My friend found out that they are having their 3rd girl. They had a son that died at 3 years old. They were really hoping for a boy. I know she cried a lot and didn't leave the house for like a week. Her husband even signed up to do some shifts for the police department so he could be around some "testosterone". It has been a couple months now since they found out and I think they are o.k. with it now.
I think it's o.k. to morn the loss of a dream. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy it won't last forever. And you will long for the days when you could feel him moving inside of you.

Answer 11

This sounds perfectly normal to me! You are in a way grieving and thats fine. Im sure your little boy will be goregous and when he is older will be a great big brother to any little brothers or sisters that come along! Good luck and be glad your son is healthy!