he's the only one that works, she just goes to school. i understand she's responsible for a clean house like doing laundry, dishes, etc. my question is should he have to clean up after himself AT ALL? if so, to what extent? or should she be solely responsible for cleaning up completely after him? kids aren't involved so it's just him and her.
2007-04-06 17:30:47 · 18 answers · asked by fear of the dark 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
unless he is handicapped, he should do his share too.
2007-04-06 22:26:39 · answer #1 · answered by barb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bloody hell, what do you mean you "understand she's responsible for a clean house like doing laundy, dishes, etc."?!
Women are not automatically responsible that sort of crap anymore.
Granted, if she is staying home she would be a housewife, and there is probably an agreement that she'll do those sorts of things and look after any kids that might come later.
Still, that doesn't make her AUTOMATICALLY responsible for anything.
You, however, are referring to this couple as "he" and "she," indicating that you are not involved except perhaps as a friend or relative.
Let them work it out. If she wants him to clean up after himself, then she should tell him so and they should work it out. It's between them.
2007-04-07 00:41:36 · answer #2 · answered by tweedfalcon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a marriage in trouble. At least some of the time he ought to WANT to pick up after himself just a little as a show that he cares for her. She ought to clean up after him to show her love. I'm not saying that they should be arguing over who gets to clean up the messes; I just think that if they are making a mountain of this molehill, it's a sign of more serious problems.
2007-04-07 00:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kuji 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone should practice a bit of personal responsibility and consideration toward others. She is a partner, not his mommy. He is an adult, not a little boy. If his mother allowed him to be a slob, dependent on her for everything, both partners are going to need a "training period."
How a couple divides the work is up to them. Everything should be listed and agreed upon, especially when both partners are working/pursuing education.
It can be a source of ongoing conflict if there are unspoken expectations. So be sure to discuss EVERYTHING, even if it seems trivial.
2007-04-07 00:50:42 · answer #4 · answered by not yet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think whatever the situation, each person needs to clean up after themselves. The fact that you typed that she "just" goes to school implies a lack of respect to me. She's not your mother, show some respect and don't make her act like it. Men wonder why the sex drops off ....who wants to have sex with a man that acts like a kid? Grow some balls, pick up your own underwear.
2007-04-07 00:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you've got to never use the term 'housewife' again. It speaks volumes about how you view yourself. Which is probably why you're married to a guy that doesn't really want a wife, but a maid. But then you knew what he was like before you married him didn't you.
2007-04-07 00:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by stevieray 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you leaving your stained underwear everywhere or leaving dirty socks all over? I think you should clean up after yourself. If she doesn't work, she can do the bathrooms, vacuum, etc, but for pete's sake, you're an adult right? You're not living with your mama anymore. Clean up your own junk.
2007-04-07 00:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by Brown-eyed girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, why should you have to clean up after a grown man? If he wants some one to clean up after him, tell him to go home to his mother.
2007-04-07 00:37:28 · answer #8 · answered by aloneathome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHN IT WAS JUST ME AND MY HUBBY B/F KIDS I DID ALL THE CLEANING HE WORKED I DIDNT BUT AFTER THE BOYS STARTED COMING HE JUST KINDA STRTED TO PITCH IN AS LONG ASIT WAS JUST US I IDNT MIND HE DESERVED TO COME HOME AND HAVE A HOT MEAL A DRINK READY AND AND A CLEAN HOUSE WITH BEDS MADE LAUNDRY DONE ECT ECT BUT HE DIDNT MIND HELPING I JUST FELT HE WORKED HARD FOR US AND I WANTED TO DO THAT FOR HIM NOW THE KIDS ARE GONE AND IM BACK PUTTING ALL MY ENERGY ON TAKING GOOD CARE OF MY HUSBAND HE DESERVES IT
2007-04-07 00:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. you are his partner not his mother, or butler. I have been married 30 yrs. and yes I do the laundry, but if his clothes arn't in the hamper they don't get washed.
2007-04-07 00:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by gertie_birdy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby why are you keeping score with the dishs just handle you business and take care of the man thats keeping you home this is a mans world but it wouldnt be nothing without a good woman. dont you know that you wouldve gotton your face slugged for crying about the basics.
2007-04-07 00:44:04 · answer #11 · answered by freshness 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋