He is consistently behind on support, continues to be verbally abususive as he was during the marriage, (why I divorced him. ) He may hate me forever, and, I know he loves the kids (not abusive to them, but in front of them, to me, sometimes.) Its a six hour drive where we are going, and I am willing to alter visitation to make up for the distance and time between visits. He is irregular with visitation, already, sometimes weeks without a call to the kids, but I still try to keep things going for the kids. I have a lawyer, but I am sill afraid. I have the right to go, but he also has the right to sue me to try and stop us. No family here and no regular support from him, so I want to make us a better life. I'm not going to Alaska!!! just three hrs each way... all for our future, not to hurt him. Help!
2007-04-06
16:04:14
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16 answers
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asked by
B.
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have a lawyer and he doesn't see any altercation being presented when you move then go for it. Sounds like if he wanted to be really involved with your children's lives then he would be making more of an effort to pay his support and be there for his visitations. Good Luck!
2007-04-06 16:10:46
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answer #1
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answered by ? 2
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Check with your lawyer and see what his advice is. Explain to your lawyer how he verbally abuses you in front of the children and see what can be done about the child support and the way he is about visiting his children. You could also contact domestic violence about the abuse and you may be able to get help from them. The usually have an advocate that has legal training and she will help you where the support and all is concerned. If he is not regular with the visitation and child support I would say that moving 3 hrs away should not be a problem However, I do think it is best to make sure before you actually do it. Good luck.
2007-04-06 16:24:59
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answer #2
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answered by susie 4
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Some states laws are just that. state laws.. I don't know if yours is one where there are limitations as to how far the children live from the non-custodial parent.
I won't comment on the financial support thing. I think that the child support system is screwed up. There are people who need the money and then there are those who abuse the system. Better to keep my mouth shut on that one. lol (nothing against you though)
Him being verbally abusive to you in front of the children is something that I WOULD NOT put up with... whether you areor were married to him or not.
2007-04-06 16:23:41
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answer #3
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answered by Its Just Me! 2
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Your ex doesn't have much of a leg to stand on if he isn't a regular part of your children's lives. Basically you need to petition the court to move if you are moving out of the state otherwise you don't need his blessing to move. Getting your ex-husbands blessing isn't really the issue as the courts are the ones to get past. If you can prove to the courts that the move will be beneficial for you and your family then you shouldn't have a problem getting the court to grant your request. If you cannot show good reason why the court should grant your request then chances are that they will deny it. As for the issue of him being behind on support, you should speak with your case worker and push the issue of him being behind all the time. Your case worker will be able to help you get that issue resolved in some way shape or form. Chances are that your ex will most likely have to spend time in jail if he is really behind and you can have his wages garnished, but it all depends on if you how much you want to push the issue. I hope some of this is helpful to you. Good Luck
2007-04-06 17:03:43
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answer #4
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answered by truckerman96 2
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Ask your family court system for the permission that you need to move out of the area, in some states if an ex doesn't keep up with the support or visitation you could file for abandonment and this would open his eyes. It sounds like he still is controlling your every move, stand firm and seek the court system for their help. Wish you the best of luck.
2007-04-06 16:40:36
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answer #5
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answered by sla571963 2
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If your lawyer says it will be fine, then trust him/her, and go ahead and move. Let your ex sue you.....I agree with some of the others, I doubt your ex will make too big of a fuss, since he's behind in court ordered support payments. Deadbeat dads generally try to keep away from court, since showing up there usually means a quick trip to the county jail.
2007-04-06 16:30:39
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answer #6
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answered by basketcase88 7
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He is not paying any support so he has no rights you have been fair and generous with him regarding the kids. Go and move to where you have family and tell him to take you to court because heowes child support and will end up in jail for failure to obey a court order. If there is no order stating you can't move out of state he is out of luck and has no legal leg to stand on good luck
2007-04-06 16:09:38
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answer #7
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answered by bbinqueens33 4
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Don't let him know much before it happens then you will be near your family when he tries to start anything if he does. You need to do what is best for you and the kids. If he does not put effort to them now a 3 hour ride will not make a difference. Just keep mostly quiet till you leave.
2007-04-06 16:24:42
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answer #8
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answered by ronnny 7
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The answer to your question should be based on what is best for your children. It is important for them to have their father in their lives. They may even resent you for taking him away. If he is verbally abusive to you in front of the children this may not be best for the children. Unfortunately the money or his irregular visits should not be the basis for your decision. In the end, if you are honest and loving to you children they will see him for his true colors. Unless he presents a danger to their mental or physical health, they need to have him around.
2007-04-06 17:37:53
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answer #9
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answered by diogidoc 2
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Is he really as irregular with payment & parenting time as you say? Or, do you just want to believe that so that you'll feel justified in doing what you're trying to do?
How old are the kids? How do they feel about their relationship with their father?
Surely you can find some way of making things work for you where you're at, until your children are grown - for their sake - to keep giving them the relationship with their father that you promised them when they were born.
For what it's worth, my husband's ex took his daughter & moved 7 hours away, without asking permission from him or from the courts. After taking it to court, she's living with us, now.
2007-04-06 16:19:25
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answer #10
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answered by Maureen 7
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