anybody need thousands of dollars, how about a kidney. or anything i have. all i want is a answer that works.?

Question

wife of 29 years wants to divorce. says she does not love me anymore. she is 46 years starting menopause says she is attracted to a guy at work and wants to start anew life. tell me how to save my marriage and whatever i have is yours. I LOVE HER

Answer 1

Then do whatever it takes to win her back...is this guy playing the game? Ya know, flowers and compliments and blah blah blah...that would get a woman who is not getting her fair share of attention to look the other way...well do all that and more...surprise her with a romantic dinner...tell her HOW MUCH you love her...SHOW HER what she means to you.Steer clear of arguing because if she feels unloved that will just push her away even more...be better than HE is...normally I would say to hell with that, but if you really love her than by all means, go for it...the best of luck to you.

Answer 2

Yes I agree get counseling. She better realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side. She stuck with you for 29 years so that tells me you are a good man and why would she want to throw it all away for someone she really knows nothing about. Maybe you an reinvent yourself and do something new and different. Why not try to wine and dine her a little more and give her compliments. I'm sure she has mentioned a place she would love to visit that she's never been before like taking a cruise or going into the mountains just something. Good luck.....she don't realize what she has in you most women would kill to have a man say after 29 days let alone 29 years that he still loves her.....good luck sir.

Answer 3

I do believe you love your wife I think you should consult a professional the both of you she is going through many mood changes and hormonal changes and that can change her feelings towards you. That is the good news the bad news is that she is tired of you and hasn't taken her marriages vows as strongly as you have. She has also already explained to you that she is attracted to someone she works with so she has lost any physical or sexual connection possibly to you.
The other thing is even though you love her do you really think it right for her to stay and be miserable with you. It has been a good 29yrs and that is monumental in this day and age.

Really maybe a new lady is out there for you too. I'm one for one for life and I surely hope my wife and I grow old together and sitting on the rocking chairs when retired and 80. But really Personally I think you may just have to let her go. Some women want a fresh start when they hit menopause and then some guys go out a buy a corvette. She wants to try to relive her younger years.

MAYBE ITS TIME FOR YOU TO GET THAT CORVETTE!

Answer 4

Wow, 29 years. That is a long time. It's good to hear that you still love your wife. I'm sorry to hear that she wants a divorce. Hopefully she will sit down and talk to you. I think it is highly selfish of her to throw away 29 years just because she is attracted to a guy at work. I suggest that you talk to her and see what is going on. It may be hard but try it. I have only been married 12 years but my wife and I are going through tough times. I just came back from a year long deployment and we have grown apart during that time. I'm thinking that you and your wife are in a similar situation. I have started to do some of the things that I used to. I know that I was predictable with her. So, I've changed that. I take her out at the spur of the moment, I've danced with her in the store, I bring her flowers and call her just to say hi. Maybe, that is what your wife wants. She may want to be romanced again. She wants to feel desired. Start dating her again. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 5

Find out why she's not happy with the life she's living. Why a new one? Trying to feel younger is a major sign of a mid-life crisis. Take her away on a vacation and get back to when you first fell in love. Don't give away everything you have to someone you don't know, give all of yourself to your wife. If you've been married since she was 17, it sounds like she never got a chance to live her own life and that may be what she needs. It's important to a woman to feel self sufficient and able to stand on her own two feet. If she's had you taking care of her for so long she probably doesn't feel like she has any control of her life. So give her control, take a backseat and let her know things will run the way she wants (not in the affair department but your relationship.) Let her be herself, like if you usually hog the remote control, let her have it. Don't criticize the things she does or wears. Be completely supportive of her and remind her that you love her any way you can. I hope this helps you, and I hope she realizes what she's about to give up before she actually does.

Answer 6

How long has she been attracted to this guy at work? Do you have children? My brother and his wife divorced after 28 years together and their 3 kids were on their own. Now, they are the best of friends, something they never had when they were married. Sometimes, splitting up is the best way to stay together. Sometimes, staying together is the best way to split up. No matter what the circumstances, no one person is at fault for a relationship not working....it takes two to make it or break it. If you really love her and want to keep her, let her go...be strong and trust your love for her will keep the bond cemented. And above all, don't give up talking to her about your feelings and listen to her express her feelings as well. I wish you the best.

Answer 7

My dad went through the same thing with his ex-wife. He wasn't the most affectionate or romantic guy in the world. She too, had her eye on someone. She strung him along because he was at her beckon call until he finally had enough. If you want to save your marriage - then you need to have respect for her decision, be confident, slightly annoyed with her. Do not bend over backwards and beg her to stay with you. You have to understand that she, in her mind, has already made her decision. Whatever your plan has been so far, chuck it! If you have been bending over backwards to please her and begging her and making promises - STOP! Tell her that if she wants to give up 29 years of marriage and commitment for a fling with a guy at work - go for it. But don't expect you to sit around and wait for her to regret it! I hate it when people go through this - I have a motto - If I have to beg and chase my man - he's not mine. You have to have self-respect and confidence to know that this will not kill you! Confidence is the MOST attractive quality you can have. Show her the person you were when she fell in love with you. I am pretty sure you weren't begging for her affection then, if you were - then you doomed yourself from the start.

Answer 8

ok this is going to sound nuts, but this is my advice tell her instead of divorce you want a separation. let her go and do her thing. trust me she will come running back when she realizes the grass is not greener on the other side! this could take a while, you must be patient and don't pressure her. this is probably her menopause reacting. i bet this guy is younger too! anyway tell her no divorce just a separation. she will be back unless you are an abusive husband.then she won't. any way i know this is very hard to do . you know the saying if you love something set it free if it comes back it was meant, anyhow take my advice it will work.

Answer 9

The only thing that I can say is try to sit her down and ask her what she doesn't love about you anymore, or what she feels with the other guy that she may not feel with you anymore? She sounds like she may be wanting something that you aren't giving her anymore. Try to spice things up in the bedroom if you can. Or even do things for her that you haven't done in a while. Be spontaneous when it comes to sex, dinner, movies or what ever she may like. I am sorry I couldn't offer more than that. I hope everything works out for you. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Let her go, but always be there for her. Let her see you are the one she wants and needs. Don't be pathetic or desperate, that is a huge turn off. Make yourself better than the guy that has your wife checking him out. Workout dress better take up activities you would not normally do. Keep yourself strong when you are around her or talking on the phone to her. Sometimes let her know you miss her only after you start changing your life. If you have kids do more things with them. Your life still continues its not over. Be strong she still loves you she may not be in love anymore though, but love is funny it comes and goes. try not to go a nasty route with her either. it brings hate. i hope this works it did for me goof luck and keep us posted

Answer 11

first you need to get to the bottomof this, is she seeing this guy already?
more than likely it is her hormones, myabe she is kind of going through a mid life crisis. i don't know but hormones can make you a different person, maybe she is needing to feel younger,myabe she is bored, or maybe she is sick of some crap. i don't mean to be harsh, but i don't think that my husband knows how fed up i am.
here is the deal go to your wife, sit down and have a heart to heart. tell her you love her with all of your heart and you know that you can live with out her but you would never want to.tell her to talk to you and if there is some way you needed to change you could but you have to know what you are doing wrong. suggest counseling or i don't know the way you believe but ask to talk to your preacher and pray all the time. also if you have kids, u can not stay for that but remind her how that will effect them even if they were30 they are still effected holidays for ex. remember you can not do anything on your own but with God with you, you can move the biggest stone. so pray and pray some more, God knows how it is going to work and remember i know you love your wife but if she leaves you will love again only if you let yourself. i wish you the best of luck!!! and be very sincere when talking to your wife!