that it would make me feel better to let him know how he hurt my and my family and to let out all of the angre and frustration i hold deep inside out on him. I think it would make me feel better honestly. Do you think its a good idea or do you think it would devestate me more and set me back since i have come so far in these pats 6 years????
2007-04-06 14:02:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sorry to say you will be wasting your breath ...
2007-04-06 14:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by Baby G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would help, but I may not be a "modern" psychologist. I agree with another writer who said that it was the goal of the molester/rapist to inflict pain and to be in control and s/he (to be politically correct) would probably get pleasure knowing you were still thinking of it, because s/he would to as a memory of his moment of power. It reality the molester/rapist has an inferiority/grandiosity complex. The only thing that would help you is to inflict the same pain on them, but that would be illegal and would be stooping as low as they are.
Spend your time developing the ability to love, to give love and accept love, so that you develop a healthy relationship and show that s/he no longer has power over you.
The only exception to contacting someone would be if you were seeking to prosecute the person. In which case, you would not be contacting him, you would contact the authorities. That would make someone have some feeling that they did something about the abuse and could make them feel better if the person who violated them was convicted. But do not contact the molester/rapist to tell them that and get an injunction against them contacting you if you prosecute.
2007-04-06 21:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by cavassi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was also molested/raped as a child, and I have to see the man who did it to me on a continual basis. I did confront him,I thought that it would make me feel better for him to know the pain inflicted. Then, I realized that was the intended purpose, to inflict pain upon me/the victim. So when he had no response to my accusation...It did hurt. I don't think that they have a conscience, and therefore have no feeling for their victims. Knowing that they accomplished the goal of inflicting pain on us, was what they wanted, and to take our power away.
If you think it would make you feel better, then you should. I thought I would share my story, and maybe you could use it to help you. I don't know if it would do you any good to confront him, when he won't want to admit what he has done. That would be giving your power back to you. If you do want to confront him, and you don't get what you need for validation...I am here for you. You can email me.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am glad to hear that you are beginning to overcome your molestation, as that is truly the best remedy. To get our strength back moving on, and forgiving are the only things we have to draw upon. I will pray for you, and it takes alot of courage to admit this. Just remember that you are a victor, and not a victim anymore, and he can't hurt you. So I am proud of you, and it will all even out in the end.
God Bless!
2007-04-06 21:22:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's something that today's psychologists are saying you should do. Let him know, write it all out first so you get it all out there, and then "let him have it". Tell him off, press charges, tell other people.
But ultimately, it's up to you to decide if that's going to help you or not. If you think it will just open old wounds and not solve or undo the past, then you have to make that choice. Do what's right for YOU.
2007-04-06 21:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I'm so sorry.. anybody that would do that is just plain... there arent even words for that... honestly, i don't be thinking you should be getting YAHOo answers opinions... do what's right for you! If you still can't decide... seek some help
GOOD LUCK!!!! ;-)
2007-04-06 21:07:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be empowering......I have dreamed of doing that in my situation all my life.....Walking up to him and kicking him in the b@lls and tearing out his.........At least you know who it was though....All I have is a gender......I say go give him a what for
2007-04-06 21:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by flowerchildofthecorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do`nt know what you are b-ing about I was almost molested and I NEVER got over it.
2007-04-06 21:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋