problems dealing with being molested as a child any advice?

Question

I was molested when I was 14 years old. It went on for a year and a half before i finally told anyone. We were in the army and he used the excuse we would get kicked out on our butt with nowhere to go and no money. I was just a child so i didnt say anything till i couldnt hold it in any longer. Well we did get kicked out on our butt and I have been working since I was 15 years old to help support my family. My mother is disabled so it makes it harder. I have been so strong for my family all of this time and holding everything back that i havnt gotten a chance to actually deal with it. I hide behind a happy face all of the time. Im always happy and bubbly on the outside but on the inside i hurt. I always feel like i want to cry, but i dont for my family. I am almost 21 years old now. Ive seen a therapist and such and all they did was put me on meds. I cant stand meds so i stopped seeing them. I just wish there was a way to make me feel better. Any suggestions?????

I sent him to jail and he only served 2 years and 10 months!!!!!

Answer 1

i suggest trying a psychologist,,,,, they use talk therapy, and will not put you on meds like a psychiatrist will,,,,
i had a similar thing happen, and when i first, as a young adult sought help,,, i also was put on meds, which didnt address my problem at all,,,,,
even if you need to use a public mental help facility,,,, you can refuse the meds, and ask to see a psychologist,,,,,,,, it really helped me!
think of shopping for a therapist like you would anything else,,,,,, you need to find the right one for you
this is something you do need to deal with, it doesnt just go away,,,,, many women put it on the "backburner" like you have,,,,, yet it comes back to haunt them,,,,, accept that you have been threw a major trauma, and need help ,,,,,, from and outside third party,,,, most cities /towns also have support groups,,,,,, check into that,,,,,,,,

Answer 2

See a different therapist. There are good therapists and bad therapists out there. I think you got a bad one the first time around. Ask your doctor or friends for a recommendation. You don't have to go into the details. Just say you have a couple of old issues you want to work out. Do you have a mental health center in your community? Pay them a visit and see what they have to offer. Read books on the subject and check out websites. The more information you have, the more empowered you are to deal with situations that seem overwhelming.

Above all, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about -- not even about getting kicked out. The person who did this to you was responsible for that. I hope someone has told you how proud of you they are for speaking up. It took a lot of courage and you probably stopped him from abusing someone else. My ex-husband was sexually molested as a child and from all the reading and talking with other survivors I did, I learned that rarely are child molestors abusing just one child. There are probably other kids he was doing this too. YOU spoke up. YOU stopped him! I know you don't feel proud of yourself, but you should and I pray someday you will be.

Answer 3

My heart aches for you and your situation. I don't have sympathy but rather empathy since I too experienced sexual abuse from very early years until the age of 13. I hid it deep within my mind and had a major breakdown at the age of 28 due to my repressed memories flooding back one night. They came in waves over the years it was a nightmare almost as bad as when I was a child. Therapy didn't help me since I found it hard to trust such things to a stranger and I had no family to discuss it with. After years of meds I broke free just by willpower. They still come on occasion but time is what heals, not meds or therapy in my opinion. Please know that you are the one in control now, not the person who hurt you. Use that control to live as happily as you can.

Answer 4

I am a child of abuse.. First of all you need to understand that you no longer should give them any of your time or thoughts.. That person took advantage of you when you were innocent and don't give them the time of day now. You were not at fault in any way. Even the hardship of your family that is not your fault.

I have to think of it this way to continue without pain... The event became an anchor. If I let it. It would sink me down.. And they hurt me once.. I am going to get stronger and kick that anchor off.. and swim to the top and not give them the chance to hurt me by memory because they aren't even worth that much thought. And you have to trust in your heart.. What goes around comes around. Anger does nothing but build in you silently. Don't let it. Take the time to write it all down some where.. and know it is there if you need to reminisce. but Leave it there. Hope this helps

Answer 5

Wow, a therapist shouldn't be starting with meds unless there's major depression. Sounds like you're taking on responsibility and so to some degree you're "managing."

But your problems are not going to go away by burying them. Way to go to face them. Find a therapist or "counselor" who doesn't start with meds (unless you're so depressed you can't think).

You're suppressing things -- and that doesn't help. Your healing will start more as you allow yourself to cry with your family -- perhaps best in a counseling setting. Pretending everything's OK when it's not takes an incredible amount of energy and will destroy you in the long run. Allow yourself to grieve with others, as a minimum.

Answer 6

I'm very sorry you went through this, and I hate dickheads that give answers such as the first person. My brother was sexually molested for years. He is a very angry person now and goes through relationship after relationship. He has also attempted suicide on occasion. Maybe you could try hypnosis as this has been known to help. Im sorry I dont have any other advice for you.

Answer 7

You need to switch to another counsellor or change medications. Another suggestion, if I may: when you have a problem like this, which is very common in society today, it may help you to help OTHERS with this issue - in other words, make a presentation to young kids in schools, talk about how they need to tell someone if they are being touched inappropriately, even talk about your own experience. Go to familywatchdog.us and read about different things they can do to help you out to get started, or send them an email. Sometimes by helping others, we help ourselves most of all. p.s. there are about a million books out there on this subject, maybe look on ebay or amazon or go to your local library for the cheapest books. Lots of internet sites, also.

Answer 8

omg that's such a sad story, i wish i could help but the only thing I know about this is what I saw on the news. i'm not quite sure what their called but there are pills that help remove memories but you would also need a specialist to help with the proccess.

Answer 9

Therapy DEFINITELY HELPS!!!!! and remember IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! Therapy is the biggest gift you could give yourself because the therapist will VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS, whereas anyone else can't relate to what your saying. God Bless and know that you're not alone!!!

Answer 10

Oh , well maybe if you wish you could forget about the pass and look at the bright side now. What was let it be , but now we are in the 2007 . Forget it you may be older i think but what was letit be .
Love,
Alma