I am saddened by some of the ladies here...?

Question

I am 20 and was once a member of a pregnancy forum when I was ttc at 18. I seeked help, and advice from other women who were ttc, and even some as young as I was. As ridiculous as it sounds to a lot, I have severe endometriosis and fear I will not be able to have children. My sister was told at 23 she needed a full hysterectomy, and I'm scared to death this will happen to me. I am afraid I have no chance. Alot of the ladies here who are pregnant are young and scared, and they are getting lectured and bashed, when they really need support. My question is, why even be here if you're not trying to help? I joined to get advice as well, but from what I have seen from most, I don't think I'd even bother asking...

I appreciate everyone's responses so far! Thank you all for the luck you send, and the advice you've given. I am keeping my fingers crossed, and for those of you ttc, baby dust to you all! For those of you already parents or prego, congrats!! I wish you all lots of joy, and SLEEP! LOL!

Answer 1

I think some people dont understand certain situations, such as yours. Some see u as being too young to even think about having a child, but they dont know your circumstances. In your case, the disease only gets worse, making it more difficult with time.
I think its important for everyone to have an open mind and not question people for the decisions they make. Unless of course u have an obviously young kid who doesnt even know what it takes to get pregnant or questions if they could be pregnant, even if they havent had sex. U have to understand someones reaction to such questions as this. So, honestly, I think its mixed.
No, we dont know everyones circumstances, and probably should be more open minded because of it. Unfortunately, people bash others not knowing the entire story, due to lack of knowledge.
I just want to say that I wish u all the luck in the world trying to conceive. I have been in your shoes, but have PCOS. Then two years ago at age 37, was told I had the onset of endometriosis as well. I completely gave up on ever being a mommy.
However, I am now almost 35 weeks pregnant with the baby the docs said I would never have. They wanted to give me a hysterectomy at age 17. My mom wouldnt let them. I am so thankful she didnt now. I have suffered terrible pain throughout my life, but it has all been worth it now even at age 39.
Dont ever give up hun. And unless its a life threatening ordeal, do not allow a hysterectomy. Modern medicine and the miracle of God is vast and u just never know what is in store, no matter how hopeless it appears.
Best of luck to u. I will keep u in my prayers.....:)

Answer 2

I think as with all things you have to weed out the bad from the good. There's going to be smart mouths everywhere you go. But for the most part people on here are really trying to help others. I know that I always take the time to really help someone out if I can and sometimes I'll do research beforehand to make sure my answers are factual. Sometimes people just want to know that they're not alone and don't really have a questions per se. Most of the "Am I pregnant?" or "Could I be pregnant?" type questions can usually be translated to "Am I the only one going through this??" It's not that these women really have no clue about what pregnancy is or how they got there they just want to know they're not alone.

Then there's those who can't be serious and I think that's where the sarcasm comes from others. Some of the questions here border on the absurd. I tend to ignore questions like that and focus on the ones where I think people are really needing help or support.

There's a lot of nice folks on here who are trying to help, so don't throw the baby out with the bath water (no pun intended). Ignore the jack@sses and you will probably find yourself grateful for the kind and helpful words expressed by others.

As for your situation, my heart goes out to you. You could probably get some really good avice from the women here who are or have been in your situation.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Some people seem to take a lot of the questions as a joke, I don't know why, I try to give support to those who need it, I have four children so all my advice is from my own experience as a mother.
(I don't know what ttc) or is it meant to be TLC, tender love and care.

I am sorry you sister had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 23, that must have been a terrible thing to go through, hopefully if she wants children she will be able to adopt, but it isn't the same has having your own child, going through pregnancy and giving birth, I wouldn't have missed giving birth to any of my children, although the pregnancies weren't easy, the end result made it all worth it.

I hope you will have children, it is one of life's most wonderful gifts a woman has been given and I do cry for those who are unable to have children.

I feel sorry for your sister, and wish I could help her more, and I am sadden by your fears and will think of you and all those who have fears of not being able to have children.

Answer 4

I think you have said very nicely what many other people think. I know I always feel bad when I read mean and smart a** answers to questions, especially from the younger members. I was 17 when I had my first child and was still able to finish college and am happily married. There are many sympathetic and nice people here, but the rude and sometimes cruel people make the experience here bad for some young people looking for help.
I wish you luck in TTC and hope that everything works out for you. Your diagnosis is serious and so are your concerns. It is too bad that so many people need to know your whole situation in order not to judge you as just another kid trying to have a kid.

Answer 5

I also had endometriosis, and had a hysterectomy at 22. My doctor's said that if I did not get prenant within a month, that I had to have the hysterectomy. Which I did not end up getting pregnant so I now have a hysterectomy, If you want kids you better do it now, cause you will not have a chance just like you said, if you already have it badly, there is not much time.

I am sorry for the other women that have given you a hard time, if you need to talk or just have questions give me a hollar.
[e-mail]

Answer 6

I'm sorry that's the response you've gotten. I think sometimes you just have to skim over those responses and look at the answers from people who are really trying to be helpful.

I had a friend who was trying to get pregnant for years. She also had endrometitis (found out later) and she had a procedure done to remove it - her doctor told her her best chance of conceiving was right after the procedure was done as it will come back. She did get pregnant - so maybe you could do the same?

Good luck to you - and don't give up on the board!!!

Answer 7

I try my best not to bash anyone who is serious. Though I think sometimes people write what they write out of frustration. A lot of questions posted on here come from ignorance of certain things. Such as what sex really is. Some women ask on here questions they should ask a doctor about. That is not to say that is wrong to ask on here because sometimes finding out from other women that they have been through the same thing is reassuring. I can't speak for people who are negative I can only speak for myself. I don't think I have ever been negative and have always tried to help when and where I could.

Answer 8

I guess I've gotten lucky. Whenever I've asked questions I've only received helpful answers. I usually have a hard time picking a best answer because they were all helpful. On the other hand I've read a lot of rude answers to other peoples questions. Most of the time they're from the same people if you look at the names. I know it makes me feel so much better when I read an answer to my question and I know that someone took the time to read and respond to my question. I hope things turn out ok for you and don't give up hope, they're are people out here who really do want to help.

Answer 9

its is sad but you just have to ignore the bad advice and hope for some good sometimes during the day are better then others to ask a question another option is you can report abuse i do if i think someone is being too rude but its a hard line to draw cuz alot of people are also it depends if you are young there are a ton of people who automatically will start bashing but if you are older they won't i think if you are young you should not put help 15 and pregnant in the question if you add it to the details then all the self righous people who look for questions like this to put negative responses will not see it and your more likely to get genuine help sorry your dissapointed i am too some days

Answer 10

Alot of people wont even ask questions because they get bashed..... I was told by the dr. that i needed to terminate this pregnancy due to a few health issues I am having, I came asking for help and I was bashed. I am pro life, and its been hard for me....

Im trying to hold out but im getting weaker and weaker. So dont take all the answers to heart.

I think alot put down women that cant breatfeed or just chose not too. Your NOT a bad mom just because you dont breastfeed.