My ex wife (mother of 2 kids) asked me to loan her some money. Her husband got laid off and she said they were going to have trouble making ends meet this month. On one hand, we're divorced and I don't see why i should bail her out. But on the other, she is the mother of my kids and if she can't pay the bills, my kids suffer. Should i loan her the money?
2007-04-06 11:49:08 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're not required to bail her out, and you should never loan out money expecting to see it again. Either make a gift of it, telling her she doesn't need to pay you back, or don't do it.
Make a deal that the money is for the kid's sake, not hers. Offer to have the kids stay with you for a few months, if that's feasible. Otherwise, buy her gift cards for specific things - grocery stores, Toys-R-Us or Gap Kids, Target or Wal-Mart, local casual dining restaurant or fast food, etc. That way you know what the money is being spent on, you know your kids won't starve, and she can spend the money she usually spends on those things to pay her utilities, rent, and other fundamental expenses.
2007-04-06 11:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First no payday loan places - they should all be illegal.
Second, yes you should loan her the money - you are right that your children will also suffer from the financial situation they are in. Write out a simple loan agreement, tell her you will loan them this much, and expect repayment to begin when he returns to work & have it notarized. It might not be binding in court, but it would make you feel better about it. So, write the terms, have it notarized, make a copy for both of you, give her the $ & then tell yourself you just gave the woman you once loved & the kids you do love a gift. If she follows thru good for you. If she doesn't or can't - you are a really special guy - don't keep bringing it up & don't go bashing her or her husband to the kids - it was a gift remember.
2007-04-06 12:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by ang_phx 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. If you decide to "loan" her money, give it to her with the idea that you will NEVER get it back. You do what your conscience says. I think it would be embarassing for the new husband to have her ask you for money. This is a sad situation. Maybe you could help out instead by getting the kids some extra things they need. Then you know the money will go to help your kids. Good luck.
2007-04-06 11:53:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think it's a good idea.There are various gov't agency's that can help and they should defiantly check it out. You didn't say it your ex worked too.If not she could find a job and maybe 2 jobs since her husband is home all the time.There seems to be lots of jobs around that don't pay much but at least it would help them get by.They need to learn to make sacrifices too and that wouldn't harm the kids.If you do end up giving them the money PLEASE put it in writing so there is some legal recourse for you.
2007-04-06 12:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by Di LV E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do this, keep a record. Do not give her cash. Make sure it is crystal clear that this is a loan and not a gift.
Also like most people are saying, use your jusgement. My ex still owes me 300 dollars from two years ago for a joint credit card. So be wary. And only if you can spare the money and not see it again.
2007-04-06 11:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by Shootsscores 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are currently paying child support and you feel the need to loan her some money, Do it in the form of a child support payment. There is no way you can get burned there and when the time comes that they are back to normal with their finances you can just skip a payment or two or how many ever to recoup the payment. Just don't let it fall behind.
2007-04-06 12:12:31 · answer #6 · answered by twilite44 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really up to you. Personally, if I had the money to spare, I would. Especially because it does affect your kids. Also I guess it would depend on how good of friends you two are now. I know my ex (the biggest jerk in the world) would loan is ex-wife money just because he doesn't want to see his son suffer. That makes me have alot of respect for him.
2007-04-06 11:58:49 · answer #7 · answered by gi_jane_kicks_ass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a deal that the money is for the kid's sake, not hers. Offer to have the kids stay with you for a few months, if that's feasible. Otherwise, buy her gift cards for specific things - grocery stores, Toys-R-Us or Gap Kids, Target or Wal-Mart, local casual dining restaurant or fast food, etc. That way you know what the money is being spent on, you know your kids won't starve, and she can spend the money she usually spends on those things to pay her utilities, rent, and other fundamental expenses.
2014-10-30 13:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay your alimony and if the kids need something -specific- that can't be paid for with the money you already give her, pay for that. Do NOT loan her money and expect to ever get it back. It is not your responsibility to help her and her new husband pay their bills. It is only your responsibility to make sure the kids you made with her are taken care of.
2007-04-06 11:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hell to the no. If she's that hard up and wants what's better for the kids let them come stay with you. Women in general use their ex husbands like money slaves anyways, when we divorce a women and we have the kids we make ends meet and usually don't even force her to pay child support.
2007-04-06 11:56:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋