Why do my testicals scrape the floor?

Question

I have this problem that causes my wife great amusement, but great pain to me. When I get out of bed in the morning, my nuts are hanging by the side of the bed. If I try to scoop up the old chugnuts into my jim jam bottoms, out they pop and bounce on the hard cold laminate flooring. After holding them in my arms to go to the bathroom, it is only after some grunting and groaning that I can squeeze them back into my testicular sacs. The doctor thinks I'm talking b*llocks - but this is serious. Do you think castration is the only answer? Your undertstanding in this sensitive matter would be appreciated. And please, no nutters!!

Answer 1

I can only suggest that they scrape the floor to keep your knuckles company.

Answer 2

Interesting news. Have you tried positioning a wheelbarrow beside the bed to help you get these offending articles to the bathroom in the mornings. Surely your wife could be of more help instead of just lying there, watching you struggle and laughing her head off? I mean, you're obviously a man with a serious problem here! Could you not employ the services of an 18 year old blonde buxom wench to help you out?

Answer 3

you need a ball-bra...sizes A, B, C, D, and DD are available at Nordstroms and other higher end department stores. A competant salesman will do the fitting. The fitting is quite complex, so be prepared to spend some serious dollars and serious time for this venture. Do NOT buy the front closure type, as they lift and separate. ON the other hand, Platex has come out with a Living Ball Bra, and I have heard raves about it! Keep us informed, as expiring minds want to know.

Answer 4

Man, when you masturbate you must have been jacking your testicals instead of the jackal itself. Seriously, you must have a terrible case of hernia. Why do many people ask Yahoo! Answers for physical problems instead of going straight to the doctor? And don't just talk with your doctor, have him handle your nuts!

I am tempted to razz you bout your legs like the others, but who knows you could be a war vet. But really, the way you describe them, you could be talking about picking up and putting on dentures.

Answer 5

I'm trying to be serous on this matter, but it's hard for me to understand how they pop and bonce on the hard cold laminate flooring. can you explain how long are your low hangers/balls are?

I know some guys have low hangers but I can't seem to grasp that they are that low. are you telling me that they are pass your knees??? When your standing?

Dude!

You should never Castrate yourself for having low hangers.
once you do that you will never orgasm/climax again, you will never be able to have children.

Why don't you ware briefs when you sleep and around the house or a jock strap to hold them in place...

you can send me a message if you like... I'm here to help...

I hope this information helps you!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Visions of the old man in the movie Jackass 2 came instantly into my head reading this!! lol. Dude, if you got some low hangers then be proud of them, don't cut em off! Stay off the drinking!

Answer 7

Your testicles scrape the floor because your legs are way too short - just about as short as your credibility. Sounds like a lot of BS to me.

Answer 8

A skateboard will help while you wait for surgery.

Can you fling them over your shoulder? If so, then no need for the op. Could be the start of a new fashion accessory.

Answer 9

Use the garden sheers, it wont take long. I advise 15 pints of stella before doing so.

Answer 10

well...see your doctor coz i dont think that's normal. If he can't do anything then i guess you'll have to put up with it and keep scraping those buggers off the floor. They should stay inside ya undies??????