am i a bad person for this feelings?its normal to desire another man in marriage?
2007-04-06 10:26:45 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
SO YOU ARE MARRIED... YOU HAD VOWS WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED... AND YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT A MAN BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED. YOUR EYES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ONLY ON YOUR HUSBAND!!! SO IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM LOOKING AT ANOTHER MAN. TELL THE OTHER MAN I AM SO SORRY YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE
BUT I AM DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH MY HUSBAND..WHETHER I AM OR NOT... THE FACT IS I MARRIED HIM BEFORE I MET YOU. AND I DON'T WANT HIM NOR YOU NOR I TO GO TO HELL BECAUSE I LOVE EVERYONE THAT MUCH!!!! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I CAN CONTROL, NOW WHY YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY, BECAUSE SOON YOU WON'T, ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU, TALK TO GOD LIKE YOU WOULD ANYONE... AND ASK HIM TO REVEIL TO YOU WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND TO MAKE YOU MARRY HIM. I DON'T KNOW YOU BUT YOU ARE MY SISTER IN THE LORD AND I NEED TO TELL YOU BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE THIS IS MY JOB AS A DISCIPLE IN THE LORD, SPRENDING THE LOVE AND THE WORD OF THE LORD!!! GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!
2007-04-06 10:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by ~Amber~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Infatuation can show up at any time. When we are attracted to someone, it is merely a biological response to someone else's DNA. This is why we feel such a strong chemistry with some people and none with others. When we are married, we are just going along in life and then BOOM you are hit out of nowhere with this attraction to someone else.
Now comes the hard part. You have to consciously decide to stay away from this other man. If you do not, your feelings will grow. Infatuation is very strong. It is true that you can love more than one person at a time, but you can only be infatuated with one person. When these feelings take over, you will begin to find fault in your husband when before there was none. It is a slippery slope that I do not wish on anyone. Make the right decision. Avoid the other man.
2007-04-06 18:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by Terri Klapperich 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need to understand is the same thing happens to married men. Your husband might be attracted to another women you never know. Now ask yourself how would you feel? The big problem is most people who do cheat never really think through the consequences of there actions or they think there spouse is blind or stupid it ends up costing them more then the can possibly imagine. The other big thing is morality.....How do you consider yourself do you think you are a good person do you look in the mirror and smile.
Plus the color of someones skin is unimportant the cheat factor isn't any more or any less.
2007-04-06 18:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with fantasizing about another man. Just don't act on your fantasy. I wouldn't say you are a bad person but you do you to consider what will happen if you act on your feelings. You may be bored in your marriage and job....and that is why you are thinking this way. Maybe you are looking for a little excitement. But this is not the way to do it. How about going on a date with your husband this weekend?
2007-04-06 17:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a feeling doesn't mean you have to act on it. It's called accountability, if you do act on it, it's your fault not your husbands at least woman up and take responsibility if you do act on it. Sounds like your question may be more of a search hoping the right guys send you a email. Every Marriage is different maybe your man is so whipped he'd accept it and you could have your cake and eat it to, I've known women that have that arrangement.
2007-04-06 17:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does his color have to do with it? If you're married, you shouldn't be dwelling on feelings for any other man. Being attracted is one thing. It's unavoidable as a human not to be attracted to someone else once in a while. But think about where your loyalties lie. Having feelings doesn't make you a bad person. Breaking vows does.
2007-04-06 17:36:57 · answer #6 · answered by Rio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like that you are just attracted to black men or curious!!! TO me it is nothing wrong with that. You cannot control how you feel most of the time. And who knows your husband may like black women, don't worry about it. Just don't act on your feelings. If it is getting to a point to where black men is the only thing you think about, consider marriage counseling.
2007-04-06 19:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by Ash Kat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't necessarily a bad person but you are allowing yourself to wade into dangerous waters. You are MARRIED. I'm confused about why you think it necessary to say he is black. It doesn't matter what color he is; the issue is you. You have a husband. What you can do is discipline yourself. You may find several men attractive but you don't allow yourself to become attracted. Marriage is a full time deal. Don't run it in the ditch!
2007-04-06 17:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to be attracted; you just can't act on those feelings. That's the fun in being an adult; we can't always do what we want because we have to be held accountable for our actions. *sigh* Just keep the guy in mind if your husband ever leaves you. There is NOTHING wrong with some chocolate in your milk! *LOL*
2007-04-06 17:32:32 · answer #9 · answered by cs_ds_02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say NO. Married is married. We teach our children that they can't have everything they want, because sometimes it's not in their best interest, and sometimes it's just WRONG....so why as adults, can't we practice what we "preach"??????? I don't care if he's purple. If you're married, he's off limits. It's normal to be attracted to someone else, perhaps even fantasize of them, but to pursue it, is wrong. Plain and simple. (*wish people would stop getting married if they can't play by the rules.*)
2007-04-06 17:34:12 · answer #10 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋