My wife has feelings for another man?

Question

SHE TOLD ME TWO DAYS AGO THAT SHE WASN'T HAPPY ANYMORE BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE HER FEEL WANTED. I ADMIT THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN THE MOST ROMANTIC PERSON IN THE WORLD, BUT THIS WOMAN IS MY ENTIRE LIFE EVERYTHING I DO IS TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE'S TAKEN CARE OF. YESTERDAY I FOUND OUT THAT SHE HAS BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHER MAN. DO I SET HER FREE TO MAKE HER HAPPY? IF NOT,HOW DO I WIN BACK THE HEART OF THE PERFECT WOMAN?

OH YEAH I FORGOT, HE'S MARRIED TOO.

Answer 1

do what you did to get her int the first place.

Answer 2

You need to divorce her now. She has told you she doesn't have feelings for you and there has been another man in her life. That is pretty clear. Move on with your life and REALLY find the perfect woman. This one sure isn't! And when she comes back (because lots of times men that mess with married women really don't want them permanently) do not take her back or this will be the pattern the rest of your life. Once a cheater, always a cheater is very true. Likely this other man likes the idea of you paying the mortgage, credit cards, and paying for everything and he can just have sex with her for free. Dump her. Call a lawyer today.

Answer 3

It takes two to work on a marriage. If she is seeking outside the marriage, it's time you two improve your own marriage. Go to a good counselor. If you are a passive person in the relationship, show more interest and appreciation. Discuss things that are important to her, pretend you are dating and give her some undivided attention each day - it need not be that long, it's more the quality.

When people take other people for granted, or she's told you something that bugs her and you still "tune her out," then the relationship gets destroyed a little at a time, until pretty soon she's halfway out the door.

If she's the one closed off or has addictions or issues, then it's up to her to make up her mind if she's willing to put forth effort to be in a relationship. Relationships always require joint effort, communication, trust and investment in the other party.

Answer 4

I'm not so sure if you set her free she'd be any happier than she is now. This other man who had an affair with a married woman doesn't sound that great to me. Great guys don't do things like that.

First, you have to decide if you really can forgive her and still love her after she cheated on you. If you can, then I would talk to her and see if she is willing to work on the relationship with you and go to counseling. If she isn't, then I think it will be hard for you to do anything right now if she is in a relationship with another man and not willing to go to counseling. You may have to face the fact that at least for now you may have to separate and start thinking about making yourself happy.

Answer 5

Your wife had an emotional affair behind your back. Do you want to win back someone you can not fully trust now? Who knows what she has done with this guy. This other guy is scum, but ultimately she showed her true colors. Take the time away to really evaluate what it is that YOU want. Those two are obviously thinking about themselves and so should you. Not once was your feelings ever considered. What do you WANT? You deserve better. You have a right to be angry, feel betrayed, and its very mature of you to look at your faults, but you never strayed. She is weak and should have been more upfront when she first started having issues. Forget about what she wants, because she obviously wasn't considering what you want. The focus now should be on you. Dont fight for someone that does not deserve it.

Answer 6

I wish men (and women) would LISTEN when they're being told the other person is not happy, or needs something more. You can give somebody all the material things in the world, pay all the bills, buy her jewelry, and think that's enough, but it isn't. Women still have the need to feel sexy even as they get older. They like to feel desired. You know, the way you couldn't flatter her enough, or have sex with her enough BEFORE You married her. I hope it's not too late for you, but just listen, I mean REALLY listen to what she's saying. She NEEDS to feel like you still feel all those things for her too! We get to freaking comfortable with each other and forget all about the compliments, the way it feels to have someone not be able to keep their hands off you, etc. I wish MY husband would "get" this too. Sooner or later, I will give up too...simply because of being taken for granted. Good luck.

Answer 7

listen bud she just justified what she did wrong - this is black and white - she promised to be faithful for better or worse and she f****ed some other guy because you did nt lift the toilet seat give me a break -what a C***- nothing justifies what she did - you should be furious with her - how do you win back the perfect woman ?leave her - thats how - and after you have left her tell her boyfriends wife what that scumbag has been up to - she will crawl back to you begging to be taken back because she will be alone -by that time you will have had time to figure out whether you really want her or you just didnt want her with another man - good luck -stay brave

Answer 8

Your wife is going through some changes in life it sounds. You guys must be lacking something. It's got to be sex. Maybe her sex drive is up and that married man is the one to provide for her needs. If you want her that bad sit down and talk with her. Ask her what this man is giving her that you don't have. Go from there. If she don't want to talk go find someone else. There is some good women out there you know.

Answer 9

LOVE 101

Women want to be with their equal.

Women like the help, but the don't love the servant.

Affairs are attempts to escape one's own life/problems.

People who date married women don't want to deal with the woman's problems.

WINNING HER BACK

Stay together right now makes you her servant.
You need to Separate and divide the bills & debt FAIRLY.

Agree to seperate, but not to touch the savings until you both agree on the next step.

If you have a morgage agree that both of you pay half until you decide what to do. However, the person in the house has to pay all the bills related to the house: elecric, utilities, water ... etc.

You now have seperate dwellings and seperate bills mostly.

NOW THE FAIRY TALE COMES TO AN END

The perfect life she is picturing will start to get messy with the day to day stress of making ends meet.

Mr. Dream Boat will not want to take up your slack because he would be paying off your debt and morgage and whatever he will need to pay to make the fairy tale come true

By doing this you allow that other man to show his true colors and give your wif a good dose of reality.

Answer 10

thats tough! sorry...you should sit down and talk to her and see if she want to try to make it work. If she does maybe you two should look into some kind of counseling or maybe picking up a hobby you can do together to rekindle old flames. If she does not want to work it out you are better to let her be. She is not giving you much respect by cheating on you. You seem like a better person than that and will probably have no trouble finding someone new. It will be hard but pray about it.

Answer 11

If I were you I would let her go, but if you want to fight for your marriage, then I would suggest SHOWING her how much you love and care for her. More than anything, women need to have that assurance that they are the center of your world. They don't just want to know that you love them. They want to express that love to them. This does not excuse her breaking her marriage vows in any way, however. Give it some serious thought before you make that decision of whether or not you will stay with her. Talk with her to see where her mind and heart is, and if she's not willing to make the relationship work, then you already have your answer right there. I hope everything works out for you either way.