how do I stop my step daughter from wrecking havoc in my marriage?

Question

my step daughter mary hates me. She constantly tries to cause problems between me and her Dad. She tries to get him to divorce me all the time. Please help, what do I do to stop her. she is very cruel, cold hearted and manipultive.

Answer 1

Just refuse to play the disfunction game. Let her play it by herself, sooner or later she'll get tired and give up.

It's too juvenile for you to even concern yourself with.

Answer 2

Since you do not state Mary's age, I am going to assume you are dealing with a teenager.

Apparently, her daddy takes all the manipulating with a grain of salt.

Mary will grow up. Mary will live in her own residence. You and your man will have lives separate from hers.

Don't let her antagonize you. You be his wife. Let her be the spoiled little girl. It started long before you got to observe it.

Stay completely out of their relationship. Make note of her good qualities to your husband. Acknowledge his conversation,but refuse to discuss her. He can offer his opinion and you can say, "Hon, you're probably right." and drop it.

Encourage one-on-one father and child. Mary is crying for some attention. Make a point of he and she having alone time as often as possible.

Mary thinks Mary has had a tough time of it. Help this child.

I have never overlapped time with my step son. (I'm not saying we don't do things as a family.) I'm saying when it is his and his father's time, me and mine make ourselves scarce. Sometimes just for the couple of hours when he first arrives, sometimes for the afternoon so they can do whatever it is they do.

Speaking of which....what does he do with her? A video game, amovie, an afternoon at the mall (sorry, she's a Daughter.) He can take her to the ballgame, just him and her. She just wants her dad to herself. Needs him to herself. Help him find things that alllow them time together. And you go take a bath and do what you like to do.

Answer 3

I went through the same thing, however I am a man. It was very hard on my spirit because I tried to love the girl, and hoped she would love me back. I finally decided it was best to leave the marriage and it was then and only then that my wife stepped in and put her foot down. It is her daughter... things are better now but not forgotten.

Answer 4

How old is your step daughter and how do you feel about her? I know how you feel. What's going on must be hurting you very much. But I think that you need to sit down and talk to her. Maybe she is hurting as well and this is her way of getting attention from you or her father. I am going through something similar and this is what I was told to do,

Answer 5

I even have been via this additionally, sounds like I % out with all of you. superb element you're able to do is make no touch with step daughter because of the fact she needs to take each thing you assert incorrect, my challenge did no longer end till the step daughter owned as much as what she were responsible and that i owned as much as what I felt and he would desire to finally understand and know the full subject. As an entire adult men do no longer prefer to be stricken with females's disagreements. I even have considered circumstances the place step mothers have been the challenge and would desire to force the baby loopy..provide it time, yet don't sense such as you may no longer leap deliver and get out of this mess even though if it fairly is uncontrollable. good success

Answer 6

I had the same problem, fortanatly we did end up divorcing. But I really think that if you have good communication with your husband, then you need to talk to him about it and both of you come up with a plan. Probably ignoring her (not showing a reaction) to things she knows you will be getting upset with might be a good start. She is hurt and probably thinks that if she can get you too to split, her father will go back to her mother.

Answer 7

Why does she feel this way,and how long has it been like this??? Any more info would help!!!
When my stepdaughter went through this with me i just did some things with her just the two of us,I took her shopping,or to the cinema. I also praised her up a lot and talked to her.
Next time she comes to you ask her if she would like to go to the mall and get a new outfit or something.
It only takes small things like this to get them on your side and when they are they are great, really loving(like mine)
Good luck

Answer 8

Tell her father to stand up to her and make her knock it off. Not many kids like their step parents and they feel that they are less loved by the parent that remarries. It's a complicated situation, but if her father sits and talks to her then things might not be so bad.

Answer 9

Where is her mother?
Why does she have to live in the home you share with her faher? How old is she? Does your husband see this non sense going on? And how can a child get a grown man to divorce his wife? Pop her ask in themouth, I bet she'll sit her grown ask down somehwere!! No seriously, taslk to yoru husband, she needs to go to her mothers home!

Answer 10

You need to have a serious talk with your hubby. She should know that no matter what, you two are united as one. She should not be lead to believe that she has the power to ruin your marriage. If hubby can't get on board with that, then leave...

Answer 11

uh well, that's a blended family for you.

I would suggest : Family Counselling.

Now. Before things get any worse. This girl could have a lot of unspoken grief. Divorce absolutely destroys children.