Me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time and we talk about settling down !But we just dont know whats the perfect time!!! what should We do? How much longer should we wait?
2007-04-06 10:09:02 · 17 answers · asked by Tashae H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I find it funny to hear people planning out when to get married and when to have children. "Hmmm, let's see let's get that promotion at work first so I make better money, and then hmmm, I want to have $50k in the bank so I'm secure and a paid off car....then I need to make sure that I've been around the world twice so I know that I've done that and then hmmmm ...". There will NEVER be a right time! It's very simple. You will never have enough money saved, or traveled enough, or be at a good place in your career so you wake up one morning after you've spent 5 years with someone and just say "Hey, let's get married tomorrow and pregnant next week." Love and children cannot be planned- are not supposed to be planned. If you have to ask each other it it's the perfect time then there is no romance in your relationship and you should find someone else. What are you waiting for? A falling star, God to come down and say that NOW is the right time? If you love each other it doesn't matter if you've been together for 5 years or 5 weeks. Do it. Tomorrow may never come and you've missed out on so much by trying to find the perfect time instead of MAKING today the perfect time.
2007-04-06 11:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is a long time? I don't think there's ever a perfect time, I mean if you both love each other and are ready for marriage then do it. As far as having children, I never planned my kids they just happened, although you might consider the cost for raising kids these days they are very expensive. My husband I just got married last August and we've been together for 10yrs. We have a 9yr old daughter, I mean she wasn't planned either but even though we weren't together for but a few months when I got pregnant with her, we've known each other for 18yrs (total). Either way, just let whatever happens happen. I had my son when I was 19 (he is turning 16 @ the end of this month) and my oldest daughter when I was 21(she is turning 14 @ the end of this month (from my ex). I also have my 9 yr old with her dad that I just married. I am so happy that I had my kids when I did because I am still young enough to know whats going on with the pressures of high school and teens these days. I am their friend as well as their mother. My boss at work is 51yrs old and he has 3 kids all under the age of 9 (can you image how old he will be when they are in high shool). Anyways, do what you feel is right for you and when you are ready . Good luck to you & yours.
2007-04-06 10:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a perfect time. When the time is right the time is right. If you feel like you are mental ready and have a stable life. Then it is time. If you love each other and know that you never want to be with another person then the time is right. Some people get married at 18 and it last forever and some people wait till they are 45 because they were not ready.
2007-04-06 10:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by adarmbruster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We got married at 24 and 25 and felt so old at the time, but looking back now I think we were pretty young, and can't imagine getting married before that age. It wouldn't have hurt to have even waited an extra year or so. Our marriage was harder the first year or two because my dh was still pretty young: playing video games, hanging out with friends a lot, not that responsible, still growing up. But of course there are probably a lot of people at that age that are fully mature as well. But I still think before the mid-20s I have noticed a lot of friends get divorced so it's probably good to wait until the mid-20s in my opinion.
2007-04-06 10:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on whether you are financially stable or not. If you have the means to support a growing family then whenever you are ready go for it. If there are things you still want to accomplish before having kids then wait a little while longer. Ultimately the decision is between you and your man! Hope this helps!
2007-04-06 10:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for men 27 to 32, for women 23 to 28 is the perfect age...
2016-05-18 23:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by cari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no perfect age. Its the maturity of you two. There could be a couple who is in their thirties and they could only worry about their social life, and have kids. Whats more important? The kids, not their social life. So unless you are ready to put yourself totally last then don't even think about it. Most kids these days aren't even thought of by their parents cause they only worry about themselves.
2007-04-06 10:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married at 27 and now have 1 child, but to be honest, I would rather have waited for another few years.
2007-04-06 10:13:14 · answer #8 · answered by phoenix_rising_28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never, really there is not a magic number. If it feels right and you are both mature adults (you did not mention your ages), then it is right for you.
You both have good jobs, your own home cars, and completely provide for yourselves, right, no welfare, money from parents. etc... If yes to all of the above, go for it.
2007-04-06 10:14:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
23 and 27!
Just kidding.
Have kids before your eggs dry up......which *could* be up to age 50 - that's when my aunt got pregnant! Depends on your fertility genetics.
2007-04-06 10:14:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋