My boyfriend and I seem to get along ok except for one problem....I'm a non traditional adult college student who is very open minded and committed to learning. He is very intelligent and we can have very intellectual debates. The problem is that he wants to debate everything! He wants to take the opposing view and challenge the textbooks, challenge the professor....etc. It makes me feel like I'm being personally attacked when he dismisses my opinion or wants to prove me wrong. Why does he do this? Is it arrogance? Insecurity? He has a history of drug/alcohol abuse but is clean now and has been in recovery. He says its my problem because I'm disagreeing with him. He doesn't acknowledge my feelings and just tells me that I'm wrong. I'm a peacemaker and I'm not concerned with "winning" a debate. I just want to be respected for my opinion. What's going on here?
2007-04-06 09:47:12 · 12 answers · asked by philly 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sounds to me as though he's got an overinflated ego, and enjoys being argumentative. Some people consider anyone else's opinion as being a threat to their own opinion, and will take an opposite view, even if they know their view is false. Don't let him subjugate your opinions as not being valid. To do otherwise would just reinforce his behavior.
2007-04-06 09:55:27 · answer #1 · answered by Jolly 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From the files of "Been There-Done That"-He is an arrogant jerk and you can't change him - you will wind up regretting this relationship. Dump him. He may be "sober" but he's not in recovery. You don't mention if he is in a program but he clearly has issues to resolve before he can have a relationship. His constant arguing is a sign of immaturity and inability to compromise - both qualities you need for a real relationship. You could join Al-anon but you will find the answer ultimately the same - dump him and move on. He will ultimately tear you apart then dump you for someone new. It is better that you can see he has a problem and tell him that his constant arguments are why you can't see him anymore. It will be better for both of you. Good Luck!
2007-04-06 09:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let him argue among himself and keep your peace because sooner or later he may come back and apoligize and if he's acting the same way just tell him that you all need some time a part because we as women sometimes let these men try to have the upper hand and it shouldn't be like that every thing is suppose to be equal dont never let a man make you feel down because without woman men wouldn't exsist so keep your head up because you don't have to put up with him or his big debate remeber this you can do bad by yourself don't never let any man get to you like this because we as women are to smart for this type of mess.
2007-04-06 10:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend that a relationship isn't about trying to outsmart the other person. He's an immature, frustrated ***** who is unsatisfied with what he has accomplished in life and he's taking it out on you. If he's so smart why doesn't he DO SOMETHING? Any moron can argue with his girlfriend, that doesn't mean anything. He's courageous only when he's talking to you because you don't answer back, and somehow that makes him feel a little better about himself, but he will have to deal with real situations in real life he'll realize that he's not so smart after all.
2007-04-06 10:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is very argumentative. He isn't "debating. He is arguing for the sake of argument. He calls himself "debating" you because you are most probably the only person who hasn't caught on to his very lame game. He probably wakes up in the morning with subjects he wants to "debate" saturating his entire brain.
It may be to your benefit to take a break from this type of daily assault, and that is exactly what it is. An "assault" on your mind and emotional well-being.
2007-04-06 10:03:41 · answer #5 · answered by rare2findd 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has the typical alcoholic trait of being an obsessive/compulsive control freak. Be aware of this and research alcoholism and the alcoholic personality.
2007-04-06 09:55:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
once you're questioning your courting with him, you fairly favor to search for suggestion from from him about this. locate out what he has to assert about you feeling this kind. If it type of appears like he would not actual care about you, flow on. do not in simple terms date someone because it makes you seem solid.
2016-11-26 23:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me honey all men are the same its there ego thing hes trying to look good in front of you and even if you prove him wrong he will still thinks hes right my boyfriend does it my dad does it.....and im not a man but i do it to!
2007-04-06 09:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrogant and insensitive. Drop the jerk.
2007-04-06 09:56:35 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate that and it only get worse can you take it long term?
2007-04-06 09:54:16 · answer #10 · answered by JoJo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋